There Is No "Course Community"

There is no "Course community".

It's a convenient term, and one I've used and will continue to use, but not one I will take seriously. I also vote. And have been known to plant stuff. And have thisorthat insurance. And take copious notes in Ken's classes.

When we take the ego seriously we take the body and world seriously, which inevitably means we'll end up taking the Course and the idea of a Course community seriously. This is exactly what the ego wants, and everything A Course in Miracles attempts to correct.

This is a spiritual path that says, "Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world (T-21.in.1:7)."

It does not ask us to build a Course community, or protect a Course community, or defend a Course community, or fix a Course community. Such ideas are just "spiritualized" variations of our decision to be separate. It's simply another way to create false problems, make the eror real, see differences, cultivate specialness, justify attack, arouse false empathy, engage in a spiritual mission... and on and on.

A Course in Miracles is not meant to be the basis of another church or cult. This Course is only meant for one person; it's highly individualized, and profoundly personal. Our only spiritual mission is to accept the Atonement for ourselves.

The true Course community is my decision maker, my right mind, and my wrong mind. That's all. That's the scope of our community. Everything else is a trap. Mere distraction and folly.

Monastery Blog

In addition to my blog on this the main page, which mainly consists of more formal posts, I have created a more personal daily blog which can be accessed by clicking on the monastery link to your right in the About Me box.
The "monastery blog" consists of briefer postings and is where I share in real-time the latest news, on-goings, lessons, experiences and insights in my personal ACIM journey.

If you can't locate the link, here it is: Monastery

Life Is Not For The Living

Q: There are many references of "living things" in the Course. What are "living" things? Animals of all sorts? If so, why is the Course separating out animals/living things from the rest of the perceived world if it is only an illusion anyway? Are "living things" not illusions?

Here are three examples from the Course where "living things" are mentioned:

"There is no living thing that does not share the universal Will that it be whole, and that you do not leave its call unheard. Without your answer is it left to die, as it is saved from death when you have heard its calling as the ancient call to life, and understood that it is but your own" (T-31.I.9:1-2).

"Father, our Name is Yours. In It we are united with all living things, and You Who are their one Creator. What we made and call by many different names is but a shadow we have tried to cast across Your Own reality. (W-pI.184.15:1-3).

"And the world responds in quickened chorus through the voice of prayer. Forgiveness shines its merciful reprieve upon each blade of grass and feathered wing and all the living things upon the earth" (S-3.IV.2:2-3).

A: When the Course references "living things" it doesn't mean living things the way we as bodies (mistakenly) designate living things (E.g. things that breathe, seem to be born, or undergo photosynthesis etc.). The Course would include all the seeming fragments of the sleeping Son of God - not just the animate, but also the inanimate, for the simple reason there is no animate or inanimate. They are the same. They are nothing.

This passage is unequivocal: "There is no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In any state apart from Heaven life is illusion" (T-23.II.19:1-3). Since everything in the world is an illusion and not part of Heaven, nothing here is truly living, not even those things that fit our biased and limited definition of living. There is certainly an illusion of life as we experience it, but "The body neither lives nor dies" (T-6.V.A.1:4), and this would be true whether we are talking about the human body, or the "body" of atoms that make up a rock.

A defining attribute of life is that it is eternal (T-4.IV.11:7), which would automatically exclude everything in the world of time and space, which all eventually "die" or decompose even if that process takes decades as with most bodies, or millions of years as with certain substances.

The underlying metaphysics of this Course are inescapable: There is nothing here (W-pI.132.6:2), there is nothing outside of God. Literally nothing. "You cannot make nothing live, since nothing cannot be enlivened" (T-7.VII.5:3). In other words, nothing comes from nothing (the thought of separation).

Sometimes the language of the Course specifically refers to living things as we would define them (E.g. birds and blades of grass, as mentioned in your quote above), but does so only because Jesus knows it would have meaning, would be an expression of communion and joining, to many of us at different points along our journey. Ultimately, however, when the Course uses "living things" it means all things that think they have life outside of Heaven... and that belief is held by every seeming fragment of the split mind no matter if it identifies itself with a body or a grain of sand.

True life comes from God, and that is the life of the spirit which is immortal and eternal. (The 50 Miracle Principles, p. 22, by Kenneth Wapnick)

How Did The Impossible Occur?

Q: I know I keep asking this, but if you don't mind, I'll keep asking until I get it. How could we have a thought other than God?

The Course says, "In time this [the tiny mad idea, the separation] happened very long ago. In reality it never happened at all." (M-2.2:7-8, parenthesis & italics mine)

So you can see your dilemma: You think you exist as a separate, autonomous individual. That you are the embodiment of the tiny mad idea, the proof that the tiny mad idea not only entered into the mind of God's son, but was capable "...of both accomplishment and real effects." (T-27.VIII.6:3) You, then, become your own answer, which means your question is not a question, but rather a statement of fact. I exist! Now tell me how I got here!

As the Course says, "A pseudo-question has no answer. It dictates the answer even as it asks. Thus is all questioning within the world a form of propaganda for itself. Just as the body's witnesses are but the senses from within itself, so are the answers to the questions of the world contained within the questions that are asked." (T-27.IV.5:1-4)

And also: "When you have been caught in the world of perception you are caught in a dream... everything your senses show merely witnesses to the reality of the dream."(Preface, p.11)

To you, you are pretty compelling evidence! While you are your own proof, you are also your own problem. How frustrating is that? To the ego (you)... endlessly!

From the ego's point of view, it becomes a puzzle without an answer, for "...while you think that part of you is separate, the concept of a Oneness joined as One is meaningless." (T-25.I.7:1)

If you ever find an intellectually satisfactory answer to your question, write it all down on a big sheet of paper, ball it up, and throw it in the trash. (And maybe send the trash out to sea for good measure.) You can't get it. And thank God you can't, for that would forever make separation and pain real. Getting it means understanding how the impossible happened. If you manage to understand how something that never happened did in fact happen, then you know you've really bamboozled yourself. There is nothing in the Course that will ever explain the inexplicable; it only points the way to a Home we never left.

"But without an answer I am also bamboozled!", I hear you cry.

The Course reassures us that while the ego's thought system may be fool-proof, "...it is not God-proof." (T-5.VI.10:6) It is not God-proof because, "God has provided the Answer, the only Way out, the true Helper." (Preface, p.11) And because you think you're a you, the Holy Spirit's kind and practical plan for Atonement "...takes note of time and place as if they were discrete." (T-25.I.7:1)

Thus, the way to peace begins with this awareness: "Who asks you to define the ego and explain how it arose can be but he who thinks it real, and seeks by definition to ensure that its illusive nature is concealed behind the words that seem to make it so." (C-2.2:5)

In our steadfast devotion to understanding that which cannot be understood, we express our devotion to the ego. We enjoy complexity and unsolvable riddles, especially of the metaphysical variety, for they proclaim the ego real and offer wonderful opportunities for distraction and delay from the simplicity of salvation.

Insert the word paradox for controversy in the following passage: "...those who seek controversy will find it. Yet those who seek clarification will find it as well. They must, however, be willing to overlook [forgive] controversy, recognizing that it is a defense against truth in the form of a delaying maneuver. (C-in.2:1-3, parenthesis mine)

Our vexation over our inability to understand this seeming riddle comes from our insistence that "[our] understanding is a powerful contribution to the truth, and makes it what it is. (T-18.IV.7:5) When we identify with the ego's thought system, we not only look to, but insist upon, our own worldly brand of intellectual wisdom, logic, and rationality for answers. We're looking for the crown jewels exactly where they cannot be found. This is not an accident; it is purposive. When we choose the ego, we're saying we don't want to find the way home. Our insistence for intellectual understanding, then, is a reflection of our inner insistence that we maintain our choice for a seemingly individual existence. Concern with paradox provides a convenient worldly justification for our unwillingness to forgive; in other words, exactly what the ego wants.

The Atonement principle, which undoes everything our world rests upon, will make absolutely no sense to us while we are identified with the ego, because the Atonement principle is not found, nor is understandable, within the ego thought system. It is an idea that resides outside the scope of the wrong-mind. No matter how ingenious the mental gymnastics the ego performs, no matter how high it jumps, it won't reach understanding of what lies far beyond its feeble grasp.

It might sound as if all is lost, - and from the ego's perspective it is - "Yet we have emphasized you need understand nothing. Salvation is easy just because it asks nothing you cannot give right now." (T-18.IV.7:6-7)

Salvation asks not for understanding, but for just a little willingness - and we are capable of that. A little willingness that we might be wrong. Wrong about what the problem is, wrong about where to look for the answer, wrong about the teacher we have chosen, wrong about our self-perception, wrong about our identification with victimhood, wrong about ourselves, everyone and everything. When we look at the pain of ego-identification we find the beginnings of honest hope... hope that we have been wrong. And with this hope comes the little willingness to abandon what has for so long brought only suffering. This invitation is all the Holy Spirit asks, and all He needs.

"How simple is salvation! All it says is what was never true is not true now, and never will be. The impossible has not occurred, and can have no effects. And that is all. Can this be hard to learn by anyone who wants it to be true? Only unwillingness to learn it could make such an easy lesson difficult." (T-31.1.1:1-6)

As we forgive our identification with the ego, the answer comes to us from far beyond our little understanding. It comes as an experience.

When we lay aside our defenses, Love's answer is Itself.

Love Transcends Religion

Love transcends religion.

It transcends spirituality, faith, and philosophy. It soars high above doctrine, dogma, and worldly decree. It sees beyond brick and mortar existence, beyond the tallest range of snow-capped mountains that bind and captivate our earthly gaze, to a vista far beyond all mortal horizons and vain imaginings. It sees the purity of its own heart. And from there, into the hearts of everyone, quietly overlooking all but the perfection which therein resides. A perfection which often remains invisible to earthly eyes, but made easily visible in its quiet presence. It is only from the unfathomable depths of spirit, can one fathom the beauty and innocence in all.

Today such a man was laid to rest.

Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, like Mother Theresa, and many others, transcended his religion. He touched millions around the world, including me, through his humility, gentleness, compassion and humor. Like his daughter Virginia said at his funeral today, "(He) was adorable." He was adorable because he adored Jesus, and hence everyone in the world, with an unfailing devotion and humble heart. And so he came to know its depths. In his gentle smile, kindly gaze, and light-hearted quips, did he reflect back to us the value and purity of our own.

His favorite line of Mormon scripture came from the Doctrine and Covenants 112:10, "Be thou humble and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers."

His life was a testament to the simple truth of these words, and invites us all - Course students, Christians, and everyone in between - to follow in his footsteps. They lead straight to God.

To Mormons he was a beloved prophet. To me, and others not of the Mormon faith, he transcended his religion.

He was a symbol of love.

The Churches of ACIM

Reflections are seen in light. In darkness they are obscure, and their meaning seems to lie only in shifting interpretations, rather than in themselves. The reflection of God needs no interpretation. (T-14.IX.6:1-3)

This is a simple Course. However, there is nothing simple about the defenses we will erect against its message of pure love. Sometime, in the not-too-distant future, a setting sun will reflect against the steeple of a church... of A Course in Miracles.

This is not the reflection, nor the light, Jesus would have us raise our eyes unto. The content of A Course in Miracles, and its practice of forgiveness, is a reflection of the Love of God, and the eternal Oneness of Heaven. This is not for the body's eyes to see. This reflection was written "from the heart for the heart", and can be seen only in the light of the right-mind.

It is inevitable the "darkness" of the wrong-mind will attempt to obscure the bright message of A Course in Miracles, as our egos wrestle with a lustrous symbol of uncompromising love that shines in unceasing gentleness. And that's ok. Jesus knows His Course has been and will be changed and confused, twisted and turned, interpreted and perverted, formalized and dogmatized into many things it is not, and was never intended to be.

There will be Course churches, cults, sects, denominations, and orders. Some possibilities include The Fundamentalist Church of ACIM, The Everything is an Illusion Evangelical Church of ACIM, The ACIM Church of Our Sacred Lady the Blessed Helen, The Reformed ACIM Church of True Forgiveness, The Branch Unividian Church of ACIM, The Latter Day Saint Thomas Church of ACIM, The Un-Church of Wapnickianism Church of ACIM, and many others...

"The Kingdom of God is within you and all about you, not in buildings of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there; lift a stone and you will find me." (Gospel of Thomas)

We don't want a piece of God, we want the peace of God. For Course students this is found in the holy relationship with our brother, a reflection of our holy relationship with Jesus. Once while helping a young lady in an airport, Jesus told Helen, "This is my real church; your relationship with your brother. It has nothing to do with buildings and artifacts." (Source: 1976 Panel Discussion)

Churches will be built in an attempt to make a compromise with the Truth, to make the world and the ego thought system real. To steadfastly cling to the rugged cross of individuality. But Jesus will wait for us in infinite patience, as churches are built and then slowly abandoned. The spark of Heaven's memory may dim, but will never be extinguished, for Truth - no matter how deeply denied - is everlasting. In quiet calmness it waits for us to abandon our defenses, our interpretations, the churches we will build, and finally, our egos.

The Presence of Love in our minds is not found in a church, nor in the pages of a book. Let us lay down our interpretations, divisions, and differences, and let the Course speak for itself, for "...this is a very practical course, and one that means exactly what it says", (T-8.IX.8:1) and "...needs no interpretation." (T-14.IX.6:3)

"It is not intended to become the basis for another cult" (preface, viii), or church, but rather as a means to point us to what already resides within us. It points us to straight to Heaven and the peace of God.

"Hold onto nothing. Do not bring with you one thought the past has taught, nor one belief you ever learned before from anything. Forget this world, forget this course, and come with wholly empty hands unto your God." (W-pI.189.7)

ACIM Teacher Controversy

Q: What do you think is the deal with Course teachers and all the controversy? Is that just the nature of the beast (the ego), so to speak?

A: Yes, that's all. Course teachers and students are no different than anyone else or each other; they have split minds and are "in process", so the normal factions, separate interests, and controversies will arise in forms specific to the Course, spiritual communities / seekers, and to human beings in general.

It's all pretty standard stuff. Since teaching in the formal sense is simply form and signifies no concomitant level of ego detachment, I think it's safe to say almost every ACIM teacher would still have some degree of attachment to their own specialness. And for any teacher who is identified with themselves as a teacher, this would certainly be the case. If you are identified with the body at all, if you think you have a spiritual mission, you must be - according to the metaphysics of the Course - holding onto some remnant (or maybe a lot) of specialness. (It should be noted this is hardly a sin.)

Since specialness sees differences and makes them real and important, that misperception would find its way into one's teaching of the Course. It would show up in one or more of the usual ways: the desire for power, fame, recognition, money, status. The need to be seen as "right", to appear spiritual - or even enlightened! - and special. This would necessitate making other teachers wrong, inferior, less special. The next "logical" progression, from the ego's point of view, would be to defend and justify this stance. From here, divisions and controversies are inevitable.

To assist in this goal, many spiritual seekers "enjoy" the specialness of identifying themselves with whom they consider the "most special" teacher, - as this can serve to make them a most special student - and some teachers would welcome the attention and inference. When a teacher of specialness is ready, the student seeking specialness will show up to participate in a mutually "fulfilling" relationship. Almost everyone has experienced this lesson at some point in their life.

Even if specialness is absent in the teacher, some students will still be given to defend their choice of teachers, and concoct or participate in artificial controversies for their own reasons. Again, none of this is sinful, nor deserving of judgment, but rather something to observe in one's journey with the Course, and personal Atonement process, that we might invite peace instead.

A Course in Miracles, being based on an academic model (having a text, workbook for students, and teacher's manual), has spawned an unusually high perceptage of its followers to seek a formal teaching role, mistaking the Course's usage of the word teach, or "teacher of God". The only thing we can truly teach is which teacher we have chosen - Jesus or the ego - and we teach all the time, through the demonstration of this choice, no matter what it is we are doing. Even when we appear to be teaching A Course in Miracles, or addressing a boardroom, it is never our words that teach, but the content and attitude with which we offer them.

This is not to say that one should not teach nor attend a Course class if they feel guided and are interested in doing so. They can be wonderful classrooms - like any other - within which we can notice and forgive our reactions to various people, dynamics, the format, and the opinions that are expressed. This would be their true purpose. And if a particular ACIM teacher, class, or book is assisting you in becoming a kinder, gentler person, both with yourself and others, then the value of that speaks for itself.

That most Course teachers are still working on their own Atonement path is not news. Everyone is doing the same thing each in their own way; we're all in a slow dance with our specialness. A long good-bye. This is true even when that dance takes the form of being a teacher of A Course in Miracles. This perception of Course teachers does not separate, but softens, for it says we're all the same, and expresses shared interests. No matter our differences in form we are all the same in content. And there is peace in that. It calls forth compassion, not controversy.

Sin or Mistake?

The difference between a sin and a mistake is fundamental to the practice of forgiveness in A Course in Miracles.

When we chose to look upon "the tiny mad idea" with the ego, the ego instantly called it sin. "In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects." (T-27.VIII.6:3) Our sin, we believe, is that through our selfish choice we have destroyed God, the Kingdom, Love, and Oneness forever.

The Holy Spirit looks upon this same choice (to side with the ego) as a mistake. According to Jesus in the Course, "...[dreams] had no effect upon reality at all, and did not change it." (T-17.I.1:7) In other words, Heaven remained perfectly unaffected and undisturbed: "...not one note in Heaven's song was missed." (T-26.V.5:4)

As Jesus reassures us, "Son of God, you have not sinned, but you have been much mistaken." (T-10.V.6:1)

So how do we make this idea meaningful? How do we move beyond the metaphysics - as nice as they sound - to the experience?

The way we realize this mistaken choice accomplished nothing [i.e. didn't destroy Love], is by joining with that [Love/God/Oneness, symbolized by Jesus in our dream] which we think we destroyed, and we do that through the day-to-day practice of forgiveness.

If we're joined with it (Love), we didn't destroy it or alienate it, or it wouldn't still be there for us to join with, and thus in this joining do all our reasons for guilt and fear evaporate. But only the experience of this joining will be truly convincing, which is why we cannot do this Course alone.

It is holding the hand of Jesus, looking at our wrong mind with His forgiveness beside us, that allows us to finally integrate the metaphysics and the experience. It is only within the presence of His love that we truly come to know the joy of our sinlessness.

There Are No Private Thoughts

Q: I figure I may as well put my personal life and struggles out there and own it, right? There are no private thoughts.

A: When the Course says "There are no private thoughts" (T-15.VII.14.4, W-pI.19.2:3 etc.) it's not talking about our lives and personal thoughts here, - we don't think here, we only think we're thinking - it's talking about the thoughts we think in our mind. Since there are only two thoughts in the mind - ego or Holy Spirit, separation or Atonement - it's saying, "You can't think on your own because when you think you're thinking on your own (with the ego), you're not thinking at all." In other words, it's saying what it's always saying: Separation is not real. Therefore, separate (private) thoughts are not real. Which is to say... there are no private thoughts.

When Forgiveness Is Easy

Q: My other question also has to do with Ken's "teachings." In a number of places (can't recall where), I've seen him say something like "If you find it easy to forgive (etc.), you're doing this wrong." I think it may have been in the 50 Miracle Principles of ACIM. Again, I'm paraphrasing, but I find this a tad worrisome.

But the weird thing is that DU (The Disappearance of the Universe) was like the last piece of the puzzle. Once it dropped in, I just started "doing" the Course and haven't stopped. The worrisome part is that I DON'T find it difficult. I'm not saying I don't find things to forgive (even things I think are "good"), but I think I'd already reached a point in my life where I was already living a lot of the Course precepts.

A: Sounds good. If that's your experience then that speaks for itself, and you wouldn't want to over-think it too much, which is, of course, a trap in itself. We all find this Course difficult, unless we've already done the work of forgiveness via another course or path, which you indicate.

The problem comes when we find the Course easy because we're not really doing what it asks. Denial is a cornerstone ego strategy, and it's difficult to tell when we are in denial because that is its very purpose. And because we are veritable masters at it.

What a lot of people experience as they work with the Course is they become aware of the "ego noise" in their mind, which is a big step forward in undoing denial. This is obviously quite uncomfortable, and part of what I think Ken means when he says what you mentioned above. It's not that the Course itself is hard, rather it is our response to what it is truly saying that makes our experience of it difficult for most.

However much guilt we are aware of consciously, there is still, for most of us, a lot more buried and hidden in our unconscious. Since this is what the Course helps us with, it's not meant for healed minds, but unhealed minds.

Forgiveness isn't easy because we've been so long identified with the ego thought system, invested in the world, enamored of our specialness, and afraid of where forgiveness leads us - back to a God who we think will destroy us.

Ultimately, forgiveness is not beneficial for the one who thinks they're doing it in the beginning - the ego. We're asked to give up more than our grievances, we're asked to give up everything we believe in, including - and most threateningly - the idea of an individual self. Resistance is understandable.

Part of us - our right-mind - is over-joyed with each step forward, but another part of us - the part of us that likes being an us - would have to feel like hell. If we're not in touch with the part of us that feels like hell, well then there'd be a reason for that - either we're extremely spiritual advanced, or we're in denial.

This is not to say that when we feel good we should be looking for where we feel bad. That would be a great way to punish ourselves at every turn. But as we go through our day-to-day life, we can become more and more aware of when we're not perfectly joyful, and see these moments as opportunities to continue on with the practice of forgiveness. Since most of us do not exist in a state of perfect joyfulness, we come to realize we still have some "work" to do. (Forgiveness being the work of ultimately recognizing no work needs to be done.)

Since our state of mind has nothing to do with what is going on in our lives, it is also important to distinguish between peacefulness and "everything-is-going-pretty-good-for-me-right-now". The goal of forgiveness isn't to make our lives and physical circumstances better, but to heal the pain of guilt in our minds. One form this guilt can take is worrying about whether we're doing the Course porperly, if we're understanding it perfectly, practicing it the right way, listening to the right teacher. The real world isn't a state of mind where we still have questions like, "Am I doing the Course properly?", or "Is this truly peace, or could it be something else?" Those questions are only asked by a mind that is unsure, and the right-mind is anything but unsure. When we're perfectly joyful, and perfectly peaceful, we'll know it.

In the meantime we do the best we can with a sense of humility and patience in the recognition that denial is a common part of the process, and that it is not easy to disidentify with an ego thought system we have long held near.

Repetitions and Affirmations

Q: I was wondering what you think about the affirmations for forgiveness in Gary Renard's books?

A: Affirmations, like anything else, can have a right or wrong-minded use. The way affirmations are often used fosters denial. Repetition for repetition sake is about as helpful as saying, "I am not a body, I am not a body" while you're using the body's lips and tongue to repeat the affirmation. "To say these words is nothing. But to mean these words is everything." (W-pI.185.1:1)

Nothing here heals... and by here, I mean the physical universe. And by the physical universe I mean, or include, the brain. Reading the Course with our eyes does not awaken us. Saying things with our lips, repeating the lessons, telling ourselves we are Spirit does not awaken us. Putting the Course on our MP3 player, and putting it on "repeat" when we go to sleep does not awaken us. However, the Course, and I would assume The Disappearance of the Universe because of its congruency with the content of the Course, uses affirmations differently, and thus are not "affirmations" as we know them.

The Course has us pay attention to our thoughts, namely our guilt-sourced thoughts, and has us bring the darkness to the light, not the other way around which is how affirmations are traditionally used in other spiritual systems.

Affirmations in The Disappearance of the Universe, or repetitions / "affirmations" in the Workbook for Students or elsewhere in the Course help to remind us that we have a mind, they help us pay attention to our thoughts and apply forgiveness; in this way they work within the framework of the Course and its overall theme.

The key thing to remember is that we are seeking the blocks to love so that we may forgive them, not to block out the blocks with affirmations. When we use affirmations to remind us of our purpose, then we can practice that purpose. That's when they have value.

They can't awaken us, but they can point us back to our mind and the practice of forgiveness which does.

A Prayer: The Hush of Home

The
Hush
of
Home


Dear Jesus,

Please help me look at this life I live,
the world around me,
the thoughts I think,

the people I see,

and myself,

with just a little more kindness,

gentleness,

and patience,

so that my heart is filled with compassion

and inclusiveness,

even as my thoughts remain imperfect.

In the embrace of your faithful love

do I entrust my mind.

You are my whispered peace,

the hush of Home,

my quiet rest.

Amen

The Observer

These are my responses to questions about "the observer" from someone named "Jane". My responses come from my own experience; I'm sure it is different for everyone.

---

Q: How do I become more identified with the observer?

A: Simply forgive, and it will happen of itself. It's nothing more than that. It is deserving of all your trust.

The dreamer (decision maker) having chosen the ego, dreams it is a dream figure named Jane. The way home - and home for Jane is the right mind - is for Jane to forgive her Jane-ness. She gets angry, she gets afraid, she worries and gets confused. She is thrilled when her needs are met, or when she receives praise or special attention. Forgive all of that. In the beginning your experience will be that it's Jane doing the forgiving, even though it's the dreamer (decision maker) doing it, because everything is the dreamer. It's just the dreamer dreaming it is "a Jane" doing the forgiving because, for now, that's what is most comfortable for a decision maker who is slowly beginning to turn the boat around (imagine a supertanker in a wide arc). The decision maker is too afraid to be fully in touch with its power of choice, and so still needs to defer this onto a dream figure for its own sense of safety. But that deferment won't last.

As you (a dreamer dreaming you are a dream figure forgiving a dream experience) move more deeply into forgiveness as a practice and process, you will begin to have experiences as something other than a helpless body and dream figure. You will experience yourself as a mind, as a dreamer, a decision maker.

These experiences will likely be brief at first, but will begin to show up more often and last longer and become more profound and attractive. In that experience you won't question what an oberserver is, the experience will answer all questions. The experience is the answer; you'll have no questions... until you return to your experience as a dream figure.

When you do have questions, then that means you're splitting off from the dreamer again, back to the safety of the dream figure. This is normal. Just watch it all, as best and as gently as you can.

What are the things to look out for that tell me I'm in observer mode?

When you are in observer mode you won't need signs, you'll just know. If you're looking for signs or evaluating an experience, you're not in observer mode, which would just be something else to forgive as it's the choice for the ego which results in the desire for litmus tests and specifics and naming etc. And in this forgiving will the experience/observer show up, for it is the process of forgiveness that provides the safety the decision maker needs to awake unto itself as itself.

Can the observer feel emotion? i.e. Love? ...because if it can feel love then that's an emotion and transient and to be forgiven...

The observer doesn't feel emotion as a dream figure knows it. Love as a dream figure is a physical/psychological bodily feeling of love, whereas love as an observer is a mind experience of love that has nothing to do with the body or brain or feelings, and you're it (love). It's what you are... so "you" don't feel it, you are it. You wouldn't say I am feeling love, you would be it... but there are gradations of this experience as the process evolves.

How do I get a feel for what I am?

Just forgive and be patient and trust in the promise of Jesus and His Course. Don't force anything or try to get anywhere (and forgive yourself when you do). Just let it come to you, don't chase after it.

It's all well and good saying I am not this () but we need to know what we ARE and what that feels like.

I agree, and understand where the question is coming from, and it's a totally normal part of the process, but until you forgive this (ego) need, and recognize forgiveness is your only need, you won't know what you are or experience it. Forgiveness will give you everything you want, and so much more in surprise.

Through forgiveness Jane will return home to herself as a decision maker resting peacefully in the right mind, and from there that home - the little Christ being born in you - will give way to your true Home in the fullness of Christ.

Free Floating Fear

The love in in our mind is abstract, but so is the guilt. You might call it free-floating guilt attended by free-floating fear.

The way we make fear specific is we project it from our mind into a world. We do this to:

1. Attempt to escape the overwhelming fear that guilt engenders

2. Attempt to make the guilt real / keep the guilt / maintain an individual, separate identity

3. Give the guilt to other figures / objects / situations in our projection (world)

The core of the ego's plan is to maintain an individual self without the accompanying guilt. Of course none of the above works. "Ideas leave not their source..." (T-26.VII.4:7) So what does the ego suggest? More of the same. More projection, more denial, more attack, more defense, more guilt, more fear. What else could it suggest? "There must be another way"? Not on its life.

When we experience free-floating fear it can be a sign we have become more aware that we have a mind and that it is split. We would want to do whatever helps us, on the level of form, to get through the fear (in the healthiest way possible). This could include therapy, medication, or other magic - we'd just want to remember that none of these things heal the guilt in our mind. Then we would want to quiet our minds as much as possible and join with the presence of love that is the answer to all fear.

As we go through this process it is important for us to realize that we should never force ourselves to run headlong into the Course, our fear, classrooms, or lessons. If you can imagine you're in a marathon and Jesus is walking it with you.... don't sprint up ahead and lose him. His Course is a "...slowly evolving training program." (M.9.1:7)

It's the ego that feels there is urgency involved with studying or practicing this Course. The urgency comes from having made the error real, something serious that needs to be escaped from. Escaping from the error comes in the slowly evolving recognition that there is nothing to escape from. "Do not fight youself." (T-30.I.1:7) It's a subtle but crucial distinction. Otherwise you will think you're doing the Course when all you're really doing is reinforcing the decision for the ego.

When we start to run with the Course it's because we think there's something to run away from (the ego). All we end up doing is running ourselves into the ground. This Course is meant to be done in baby steps. The slow way is the fast way.

Pain and Practice

I'm listening to Ken Wapnick's workshop, Duality as Metaphor, and someone in the class asked the question: "What do we do with our pain?" When we hear the word "pain" we tend to think of physical pain first, but no matter the form (psychological, emotional, mental, physical) all pain comes from our choice for the ego. So, really, the question is: "What do we do with our painful experience of having chosen the ego?", which is the over-arching question of the Course.

Ken's answer is a great summary of the practice of the Course, and can be applied to any pain we may feel at any time. Here is his answer:

You do whatever you can with the pain. There's nothing wrong with using whatever magical means will alleviate the pain. Whether it's doing something at a psychological level, or a relationship level, or doing something physically like taking medicine.

All the Course would advocate is that when you use magic be aware of why you are doing it. You are basically saying, "The pain of looking at my ego is too great, and that's alright." I'm not ready to do it today, or tonight, or next week, or next month, but when I'm ready to I will, but for now at least I know, finally, I know where the pain is coming from. It's not coming from my miserably painful background, my family, it's not coming from this person I'm living with, or my job, or what's happening to my body, it's coming because I'm afraid of love, so afraid of love, that I cling to my specialness. At least now you know what the problem is, and that's a big, big step. This will help your study of the Course immeasurably and will also help your practice of it.

The problem was not the tiny mad idea, it was the way that we reacted to it. If you could generalize that and make it specific in your life: The problem is not the pain that you're feeling, the specialness that you're still cherishing, the problem is the interpretation you are placing on it. Namely, "This is wrong, this is sinful, this is guilty".

The way out of this miserable situation that we are in is to be able to gradually look at what it is, and when you look at what it is and see it for what it is, it will begin to disappear. When you do it is up to you. While Jesus is very clear about the difference between reality and illusion, he is also very gentle and very loving. And he is not holding a whip to your body. So basically what you want to do is forgive yourself for having an ego reaction. Forgive yourself for misinterpreting or distorting the Course, forgive yourself for keeping Jesus away, by holding up your specialness as an idol that you worship, and basically understand that you are doing that because you are afraid, not because you are a bad person or you're sinful.

A Course in Miracles and Nihilism

Recently, I've read opinions regarding A Course in Miracles, and Ken Wapnick's teachings, being nihilistic. In my personal experience, Ken is the least nihilistic teacher and person I've ever known or could imagine, and A Course in Miracles is as far from nihilism as one can get.

I think what happens is the content of the Course is so threatening to our self-identity, and the meaning we have given the world, that many people have a tendency to resist and therefore misunderstand the Course, and therefore resist and misunderstand Ken's teachings of it.

The Course can only be understood by the heart, and resistance to the Course, namely, resistance to the presence of love in our mind, allows many to use the ingeniousness of the ego, whether within the construct of the Course itself or other traditions, to deconstruct the Course into pieces that add up to 2+2=4. The "good" news is that it proves their point, and the bad news is... that it "proves" their point. Anything that would explain away God, meaning, value, hope, or purpose, is not something we would want to be right about.

This is a 2+2=5 course. We can't understand it with 2+2=4 intellectualism. We can only understand it from a 2+2=5 perspective. The perspective of the heart.

This perspective cannot be found within a worldly thought system, it must come from beyond the logical insanity of a worldly thought system.

The Course is not a scientific treatise, and cannot be read as such. It is an epic love poem that, like subjective art, speaks to the heart of some, while others remain unmoved before it, and move on to what personally touches them.

When people try to break forgiveness down to formulas (which can be helpful in the beginning stages), or break the Course down into disassembled concepts, they aren't doing justice to the magnificence of Course. A Course in Miracles is a transcendent, rapturous, symphony that is layered beyond the first, second, or one-hundredth reading. It spirals ever upward, revealing itself in glorious ways we could have never imagined in our youthful arrogance of studentship.

And even then, it acknowledges its limits as a symbol, and invites us, finally, to "forget this world, forget this Course, and come with wholly empty hands"... not unto nothingness, but "...unto your God." (W-pI.189.7:5)

It is the ego that disappears into the nothingness from whence it seemed to come. It is the ego in its inability to even conceive of love, that thinks what is outside itself must also be nothingness. And it is the ego, in its confusion and perpetual self-protection, that mistakenly interprets such a journey as meaningless, when in truth, it is the only meaningful journey within illusions. In A Course in Miracles, the world has great meaning, one that offers happiness and hope, for now the world has been given a new and holy purpose: to return us to the mind where illusions give way to truth.

Before we can come with wholly empty hands unto our God, we must first - if we are Course students, or those who would seek to offer estimable opinion on it - come with wholly empty hands unto this Course. Those with agendas of any kind do not come with wholly empty hands, and unknowingly erect a barrier between themselves and the loving content which flows from the Course into an open mind.

Many critics of the Course have given it a cursory reading and haven't come close to hearing its happy song of healing. Others have probed deeper, bringing their own worldly understanding, philosophic understanding, atheistic understanding, religious understanding, non-dualistic understanding, New Age or spiritual understanding, any understanding... and have attempted to give their view of the Course, without recognizing the meaninglessness of that view. For such a view must be shaped and limited by the "raucous shrieks" of their own understanding, rather than inspired by the letting go of all understanding, and allowing the Course to speak with pure abstraction into the silence of a humble heart.

It is here the many subtle layers of the Course and its symphony are finally heard and understood beyond all rationales and rationality itself. A gentle melody which gives way to the eternal song of Heaven itself.

Beyond Jesus

Forming a relationship with Jesus is central to the process of Atonement in A Course in Miracles. We need help from outside our own egoic thought system to move beyond it. However, we want to remember not to confuse "means and end", falling into the trap of using our relationship with Jesus to try and compromise the ultimate purpose of the Course.

As we grow with the Course and deepen our understanding and practice of forgiveness, many right-minded experiences begin to sprout up in our lives. Some of them can be quite dramatic and beautiful, but all of them are an equally integral part of the process one experiences with this Course. They teach us we have a right mind. This is something we didn't always know. We didn't always know we had options. In the past we only perceived options within the world, reducing our choices to something along the lines of, "Would you like an ego-knuckle-sandwich, orrr... Would you like some mayo with that?" Both are going to hurt.

As Jesus becomes more real to us, our identity as love becomes more real to us. We realize this is the only choice that brings peace to our split minds. So experiences of his love are essential, but even more important is that we not use them to delay us from what we really want: complete transcendance of the ego. Transcendance of the split mind into One-mindedness.

When we brag about our right-minded experiences of Jesus, we are bragging about what is still within the realm of illusion. When we glorify them, use them for specialness, or even become enamored of them to the point of preoccupation, we have pulled the handbrake on our Atonement path. We are resisting transcendance in favor of preserving our individual identity.

Jesus is an illusion. The Holy Spirit is an illusion. Our right-mind is an illusion. Helpful illusions, yes, but still illusions. At some point we need to allow these illusions to fully serve their purpose of moving us beyond all illusions. Why would we be satisfied with the means? We want the end.

Over the last year I've shared with Ken (Wapnick) some really meaningful things I've been experiencing. Without fail he says, "That's nice. That's wonderful! Now forget all about it, and keep forgiving."

What he is conveying to me is, "That's a nice road sign... now don't stop and hug the road sign and plant flowers around it, and make an altar out of it. Smile, and keep on driving."

We want to take the hand of Jesus, but not for the purpose of dragging him to come and meet all our friends so we can prove to them how special and beloved we are. We want to take the hand of Jesus, but not so we can yank him around everywhere we go in the world as a badge of spiritual specialness. That is not what he would have us make of him.

His role is to help us remember who we are in Truth, and then move beyond the memory and into Truth itself; to help us move beyond the lighthouse and into the Light itself.

We want to take the hand of Jesus to move beyond this world, and then... beyond Jesus himself.

Course Authority

It is important for us to remember the only 'authority' over our mind is us. Just as we have the power to accept God's love, or to believe we have rejected it (when the truth is nothing happened), so too do we have the power to accept the content of A Course in Miracles, or to reject its message. The power is found in our decision making ability.

Course teachers such as Ken Wapnick, no matter how brilliant or defenseless, are also bound by our decision in regards to the purpose we give them. Given to the Holy Spirit, the teachings of Ken Wapnick can help lead us back to our mind, and the presence of love within. Given to the ego, someone like Ken Wapnick can become a guru, a pope, a crutch, an escape, a symbol of controversy, a figure to blame for our Course confusion and resistance. This would hold true if the figure of Jesus himself appeared as a body and began to teach the Course.

Jesus doesn't save us, and the ego doesn't imprison us. It is our decision for Jesus which saves us, and our decision for the ego which imprisons us. As such, neither the ego nor Jesus (nor the Holy Spirit nor God) is our authority. Since it is our mind that chooses one or the other as our teacher, it must be that our mind alone is the authority. We alone have the power to choose.

The highest purpose an external teacher can serve is to lead us back within to our internal authority - our ability to choose.

This is one of the things I respect about Ken. He does not seek followers, nor fame. He doesn't teach "to get" (specialness). He doesn't consider himself an authority. He teaches as a natural extension of his inner choice for love, and this choice is what he truly teaches.

Like any good teacher, like A Course in Miracles itself, he returns us unto our own authority.

Mighty Companions

A Course in Miracles is highly metaphoric. Our self-identity, and therefore, thinking, is highly specific, so we often mistakenly read the Course that way.

One well-known phrase that is often misinterpreted is the term 'mighty companions', found in the fourth stage of 'The Development of Trust' in the Manual for Teachers:

"The teacher of God needs this period of respite. He has not yet come as far as he thinks. Yet when he is ready to go on, he goes with mighty companions beside him. Now he rests a while, and gathers them before going on. He will not go on from here alone." (M-4.I.A6:9-13, italics mine)

Jesus is not talking about specific people here in the world, nor is he talking about specific unseen entities such as angels. As a decision making mind, we have one mighty companion and that is the Holy Spirit. The memory of God's love.

To make an even clearer distinction, our mighty companions are our accumulated experiences of peace and happiness through having chosen the Holy Spirit and forgiveness. We have reached the point in our progress where we have learned that holding grievances and attack thoughts brings pain, and forgiving them brings a quiet mind. We know from these experiences of working with the Course that its principles work. We gather and take these memories of achievement with us as we continue forward on our path.

In stark contrast to our mighty companions, are the "friends of the ego", namely, sin, guilt, and fear. When we choose these "friends", and retreat into despair and seeming hopelessness, we will now have our mighty companions to call upon. These memories of love's presence provide a beacon of light in the darkness to remind us that we always have a loving helper beside us... to remind us that we have a right mind, and the power to choose it, and that this choice brings a relief, hope, comfort, and peace that is available in every moment.

Love Beyond Words

When I was at the Foundation for A Course in Miracles this June, we came back after the midday break and Ken Wapnick mentioned hearing about a conversation between two Course students at lunch, and for the next ten minutes implored us not to do "Course talk" with other Course -- or non-Course -- students while having a normal conversation. He emphasized that while it is a common phenomenon amongst Course students, it is not loving,

Imagine a conversation like this:

ACIM'er #1: "Would you recommend the lasagna or club sandwich?"

ACIM'er #2: "Duh! They're both the same - there is no hierarchy of illusions - so it doesn't really matter, does it?"

ACIM'er #1: "Okaaaay then. So, did I tell you? My wife is in the hospital from stress because our daughter started doing drugs and ran off with her boyfriend. I'm really worried about them."

ACIM'er #2: "Well, there is no such thing as sickness, so don't lose too much sleep over it. And make sure you don't reinforce her ego by believing in her sickness! As for your daughter, God is her only real father. And drugs don't have to be harmful to her - she's under no laws but God's. Luckily, she can't be hurt anyway, because it's all an illusion."

There is nothing sinful about being ACIM'er #2, and if you've ever had such a conversation over lasagna you wouldn't want to feel guilty about it, because it's the same old mistake - the one we all make - just in a specific form. But you would want to come to understand that using Course language in such a way is separating.

It's separating because it's denial. While it's metaphysically accurate to say, "This is all an illusion", that is an experience that only comes to us at the very end of our Atonement process. And if we are in a state so near to Truth, we certainly wouldn't speak this way. Denial means we've dropped Jesus' hand, which is a symbol of separation in our mind, and using "Course-talk" as illustrated above would be a projection of that decision into the world of bodies and relationships.

One way to think about this topic is to equate "Course-talk" with "baby-talk". If someone attempted to speak with you and all you gave in return was baby-talk, it would be very difficult for them to have a normal conversation or relationship with you. The baby-talk would obviously be a defense against joining. The same is true for Course-talk. This is a course in content, not form, and that content will be expressed in whatever way is most helpful to the receiver at the time. (T-2.IV.5:1-3)

It's important to remember that joining only takes places on the level of the mind, but the reflection of that joining while talking with someone about their wife and kids (or the stock market, politics, favorite sports team, the weather, pollution, food, sex, workout regimen, home improvement, or burial plans) would be to leave the language of the Course behind, and talk to them about their wife and kids with the content of love. In form, that would almost always look the same as a non-Course student who was talking to someone about their wife and kids.

There is a bit of a tendency for Course students to become "insta-counselors" or self-appointed, Holy Spirit guided, Course healers. It's almost as if we feel we have found the truth, and it's too good to keep to ourselves. That everyone, whether they know it or not, must want it. If someone is talking about something painful or difficult for them, many Course students jump in as "representatives of the Holy Spirit" by hitting them over the head with what amounts to a spiritual baseball bat. We are not asked to be proselytizers. All the Holy Spirit asks is for us to accept the Atonement for ourselves. The way the content of that process would be expressed in the world of form is through simple kindness. Being a good listener. Being compassionate and understanding. Being a friend, not an ACIM zealot. (Which, again, isn't a sin. It's not worthy of self-condemnation, only an awareness of where the zealotry is coming from, and then being patient and gentle with yourself or another.)

The more we grow with A Course in Miracles, the less we would tend to use its vernacular in conversation. Dropping an "It's all an illusion", or "We're all One", or "You are never upset for the reason you think" into the middle of a normal conversation is jarring, often abruptly skews or ends the discussion, and as such would unlikely to be an expression of kindness.

The time for baby-talk is when we're talking to babies. (And maybe not even then!)

The time for pillow-talk is when we're in bed talking to our spouse or lover.

And the time for Course-talk is with another Course student, or interested party, who has invited our take on a situation from a Course point of view.

The content of love in our minds, obviously, is the final arbiter, and will navigate and direct all conversations and behavior, but I mention the above examples as a common-sense way to approach the world and relating to each other when we're not sure. As a way to be normal.

One place in the Course that speaks of this is Lesson 155. It points out that choosing Jesus as our teacher does not result in our changing our appearance. This isn't talking about our wardrobe, it's talking about all levels of form. We keep doing whatever it is our classroom would ask, our responsibilities would ask, our preferences, interests and hobbies would ask, but we now do them with a serene forehead and quiet eyes, smiling more frequently. Our appearance doesn't change, our attitude does. We talk the same, walk the same, celebrate holidays, and look both ways when we cross the street. We are not to get all new friends, spiritual at least, fellow A Course in Miracles students at best. That would be another expression of separating. Love is not form dependent. We're the same old friend, the same old family member, and listen and respond like anyone else would, we just do it with more gentleness because we've joined with a gentle teacher. This gentleness transcends language and dogma, and would "speak" to anyone of any spirituality or religion, or none at all, because the love that is its source is beyond this world, and is the answer each of us truly seeks behind any question or situation.

Using Course-jargon with people unfamiliar with the Course is like speaking to someone using a foreign language; they'd struggle to understand and give proper context or meaning to words like Atonement, forgiveness, miracle, vision and so on. Imagine being an astro-physicist who keeps dropping scientific words with 16 syllables while having a conversation at a bar. The words would have little or no meaning to anyone but close associates. It wouldn't be a sincere attempt to connect with another person, but merely taking advantage of the opportunity to have an audience for your specialness.

When we rest quietly in the content of love, our mind naturally amends the form to the person and situation at hand. Here is a nice experience I had last year: My wife was raised a Mormon, and her family remains strong in their religion. Her dad's father died, and we called to express our condolences. Her dad was very upset, as you can imagine, and when I spoke to him, even though I'm not a Mormon, and he knows I'm not a Mormon, I heard myself saying, "I'm sure he is happy to finally be with your mom, and Heavenly Father. She's been waiting for him and now they can be together again." It meant so much to him because he knew that if I wasn't a member of his religion that I could only be speaking his language for one reason... because I really loved him. He could see that my love for him was such that form meant nothing before it. I wasn't concerned about the words, nor consciously selected them, I only wanted to get the love across, and trusted I would.

Another meaningful example of this occurred a few months ago when my wife's still-Mormon sister asked me to write the vows and ceremony for her upcoming wedding. When it was all over, she and her family were touched by the ceremony, as it included several meaningful Mormon references, and no ACIM references. A fellow Course student read the vows and mentioned, "This isn't Course compliant", and my honest answer was, "I hadn't really noticed." That's the whole point. When we come from love we don't notice what we're saying. Love barely notices form, and isn't concerned about being "Course compliant". Choosing the content of love in our mind, represented by forgiveness, is what is truly Course compliant. If we find ourselves concerned with what we're saying, we've placed the importance of form over the importance of content - a shadow of our decision for specialness over Oneness - an obvious error needing our own forgiveness.

I don't mention these stories to be an ACIM hero. An "ACIM hero" is someone who, when they notice their choice for ego, gently forgives themselves. It's that simple. And the only ACIM hero we need is ourselves. These stories are simply meant to illustrate how freeing it is when we are in our right mind. From this decision love flows naturally, form means little to us, and we are much nicer to be around. All these questions of form - which are really wrong-minded defenses - simply melt away when we join with Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.

Think of the example of "The Two Pictures" in the Course. The frame (special relationship/form) must be looked at with forgiveness before it can recede in our awareness, giving way to the picture (holy relationship/content). The frame within the context of this article would be the special relationship we develop with the words of the Course. Such a frame would be engraved with phrases like, "It's all an illusion", or "We are all one". Used for the purpose of separation, these words and concepts are Course compliant in form only, and become the means we use to keep from looking at the picture. They become a defense against love.

When we find ourselves using - or reacting to someone else using - Course-talk as a defense, we must learn, at a pace that is comfortable for us, to look at this decision with Jesus to see we choose but death, that we would finally remember that the content of His love is the way, the truth, and the life.

Dissociation and A Course in Miracles

The concept of dissociation is an important one in A Course in Miracles. Dissociation occurs when the mind splits off two mutually exclusive thoughts. E.g. The thought of atonement and the thought of separation. In more generic terms: the right and wrong minds.

"The ego and spirit do not know each other. The separated mind cannot maintain the separation except by dissociating." (T-4.VI.4:1-2)

An example of our experience of this dissociation is when we split off the metaphysics of A Course in Miracles from the practice of A Course in Miracles. We read things in the Course (E.g. "There is no world!" W-pI.132.6:2, and "The body does not exist..." T-2.V.1:9), and then practice forgiveness between our body and another body in a "worldly" situation.

The metaphysics: "There is no you." (Body/world)

split off from,

The practice: "God please help me." (This body/worldly situation)

We're not asked to deny our experiences as bodies - in fact, as long as we think we're here we can't - we're simply asked to use them right-mindedly. That means using them as a mirror to get back to our decision for guilt in the mind. The only relationships we "truly" have within the split-mind are our relationship with the ego (the only special relationship), and our relationship with Jesus, or the Holy Spirit (the only holy relationship). All other relationships are but shadows of these two. The special relationships that seem to take place here, given a holy purpose, can lead us back to our mind and to our mistaken decision to dissociate from the holiness and love in our right-mind.

So long as we hold the wrong-mind apart from the right-mind we're protecting its seeming reality. It is only when we finally bring our decision for the wrong-mind to the right-mind, ending dissociation, that the unreality of the wrong-mind is recognized and dissolves into the nothingness from whence it seemed to come. This process is called the holy relationship. Its culmination is the "real world", beyond the split-mind, where there is no right or wrong-mind to choose between, and the decision maker itself disappears, no longer being necessary or relevant.

This makes way for One-Mindedness and the fullness of Love.

The Happy Dream

The happy dream has nothing to do with the world or the body. It might not sound like it, but that's the good news. The bad news is the "happy dream" most of us seek has everything to do with the body, and is impossible to achieve. It reflects the ego's maxim of pure hopelessness: "Seek but do not find." (T-16.V.6:5)

This is the compromise so many of us have tried to make with the content of the Course. We've tried to bring love to fear, light to darkness, Jesus into the world. We've mistakenly tried to set forgiveness "in an earthly frame." (S-2.III.7:3)

In contrast to the ego's doctrine, Jesus counsels us to, "Seek and find His message in the holy instant, where all illusions are forgiven." (T-16.VII.11:1) Seek and find. That's why it's good news. Happiness is not only possible, but inevitable - not a mere hope always just out of reach, but solidly within our grasp, and guaranteed. We just need to learn where to look.

Like the happy dream, the holy instant has nothing to with time. It is that instant, outside of space and time, in which we choose Jesus as our teacher, rather than the ego. This occurs in our mind, not in the world. It is the miracle that returns us to the awareness of our identity as the dreamer of the dream, and real choice.

When our mind sides with the ego it projects the thought of separation into a phenomenal world of specifics and ever greater fragmentation. However, one of the most important concepts in the Course states that "Ideas leave not their source, and their effects but seem to be apart from them." (T-26.VII.4:7) But seem to be apart from them. The internal dream of separation has not left the mind to make an external dream of separation. "There is no world! This is the central thought the course attempts to teach." (W-pI.132.6:2-3)

If there is no world, then "forgiveness set in an earthly frame" is meaningless. If there is no world, then "the happy dream" set in an earthly frame must be just as meaningless. Since forgiveness does not occur between bodies, the happy dream has no relevance to the body. Forgiveness occurs in the mind, and since forgiveness is the happy dream, then the happy dream must also be in the mind. It is to the mind, then, that we must return.

The process begins by our recognition that the external dream is a projection of the internal dream, the world's dream is a projection of the secret dream, the second dream is a projection of the first dream. However you choose to describe it, the world of separation is but a shadow of the thought of separation, and if you try and forgive the shadow you only succeed in reinforcing its seeming reality while simultaneously protecting its source.

Its source - the idea that we have separated from love - is the unhappy dream. The problem is not the thought of separation itself, but rather our choosing the thought of separation. Joining with Jesus, the symbol for the love in our mind, and looking with Him at our choice for the unhappy dream - specialness, separation, individuality - and forgiving it, is the correction for this error. This joining with Jesus in our mind, and the experience of His love, is the happy dream.

The happy dreams the Holy Spirit brings are different from the dreaming of the world, where one can merely dream he is awake. The dreams forgiveness lets the mind perceive do not induce another form of sleep, so that the dreamer dreams another dream. His happy dreams are heralds of the dawn of truth upon the mind. They lead from sleep to gentle waking, so that dreams are gone. And thus they cure for all eternity. (W-pI.140.3:1-4)

The "Outrageous" Request

Recognize what does not matter, and if your brother asks you for something "outrageous," do it because it does not matter. (T-12.III.4:1)

Jesus is always speaking on the level of content - choice in the mind - even when it appears He is speaking on the level of form. In the above quote from Chapter 12, what is "outrageous" (impossible) is the idea that something in the world of form could bring salvation, something other than a change of mind.

If you automatically refuse a request it is almost certain it is because you have a problem with some aspect of the form as you see it. This is equally "outrageous" because it is the selfsame premise stated in reverse. You are saying salvation lies in not doing it. This, again, mistakenly places salvation outside the mind.

On the level of content, you'd be responding to a choice for the ego by choosing the ego, which offers no hope for another way. The original request states, "I believe salvation lies in choosing the ego." A defensive reaction reinforces that premise, hurting both.

"I have said that if a brother asks a foolish thing of you to do it. But be certain that this does not mean to do a foolish thing that would hurt either him or you, for what would hurt one will hurt the other." (T-16.I.6:4-5)

The "foolish thing" you wouldn't want to do is that you wouldn't want to reinforce the decision for the ego by agreeing or disagreeing to the request from the wrong-minded perspective of "form matters".

Jesus asks you to recognize, with His help, the true nature - the content - of the request and "do it" by fulfilling the real request. You would "do it" by choosing the right-mind, thereby answering your brother's innermost appeal, his call for love. This response demonstrates an alternative to the illusion of separation, and provides a declaration of release and hope. Its message offers the opportunity to choose once again: "Salvation lies in choosing the Holy Spirit. I have made this choice, and so this power must also abide in you."

Once you choose the right-mind, your response on the level of form may or may not include fulfilling the original request as it was made. However, you would not be concerned with the form of your answer, knowing the Holy Spirit's love would automatically flow through you in the most helpful way for all concerned: "Only the Holy Spirit recognizes foolish needs as well as real ones. And He will teach you how to meet both without losing either." (T-16.I.6:7-8)

In fact, on our own, we could never know what the most helpful response might be. For instance, "Who needs but a smile, being as yet unready for more? No one should attempt to answer these questions alone. Surely no teacher of God has come this far without realizing that." (M-29.2:3-5)

The gentleness of love will always shape itself to the situation and the particular request of the recipient, for... "The value of the Atonement does not lie in the manner in which it is expressed. In fact, if it is used truly, it will inevitably be expressed in whatever way is most helpful to the receiver. This means that a miracle, to attain its full efficacy, must be expressed in a language that the recipient can understand without fear. This does not necessarily mean that it is the highest level of communication of which he is capable. It does mean, however, that it is the highest level of communication of which he is capable now. The whole aim of the miracle is to raise the level of communication, not to lower it by increasing fear." (T.2.IV.5:1-6)

What Jesu