Dreamy’s Pillow
Dreamy’s Pillow, named after my cat Dreamy (aka Lama Dreamsicle, the head of our security team protecting us against tarantulas and hackers alike), is the place in the monastery where nap-happy or still sleepy-eyed monklings can come to share and discuss their dreams — their symbology, possible deeper meanings, and significance to our personal process.
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Posted
on Saturday, December 12th, 2009 at 3:43 pm.
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July 8th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
I have never had an interest in monks as such but about 14 years ago, i had my second best dream ever….->
I was walking in the middle of Sydney surrounded by throngs of people such as one gets in big cities, on my way to visit my godmother.
All of a sudden from behind me there flew about a dozen or so spirit monks in saffron robes. I watched as they flew in front of me and to my utter amazement landed in front of different folk, including myself.
No one else seemed to see them at all. I felt utterly humbled and awe-struck when the monk before me very matter-of-factly handed me a long slender golden leaf and said “This is a guided prayer”.
Then they flew away back in the direction from which they came.
……………………..
The dream stays with me constantly and still gives me such comfort.
When i go for walks i often enjoy imagining the spirit monks walking with me (along with Jesus].
And now looky here i`ve landed a whole monastery full of “spirit” monks { smiles happily}
September 29th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Of course the Dreamster would be here, it’s a place to discuss dreams! I’ll bet he has some fabulous ones, would love to hear them. I would also love to take a snuggle on the nice softy thing he is laying on, if he feels like sharing. If not, I’ll be happy to settle for him sharing his dreamtime adventures. I’ll just snuggle in this chair over here and dream a little dream of my own while I wait…
September 30th, 2009 at 6:00 am
We are moving “dream” whispers from the Snuggery (the old dream room) to Dreamy’s Pillow (the new dream room). As a result of this, some of the whispers will pre-date the creation of Dreamy’s Pillow.
September 30th, 2009 at 7:18 am
Lisa and Debbi, what is Dreamsicle ( is it a icecream one eats in dreams??) and Dreamster? ( a costume one wears in dreams, to remember that one dreams??)
*
bit of dream this night:
There is this grassy slope- like a bobsleigh-path – it is narrow, somebody built it – I am walking upwards, it goes smoothly … and when i am close to the top, it is VERY steep, and it is dark now – it is really worth this struggle? yes, I said, yes, i will , YES – and I grab the sturdy grass and hawl myself the three-four steps to the top – there I am – I am at a precipice – so, this is obviously created for climbing and then sliding down again for fun – and it was fun! I turn around, and there is Wind – the only man who became Love and looked at me with Love in this life – and he is smiling so sweetly to me.
*
This dream happened after three days of influenza – the swiney one. I was very sick.
………..and was meeting a part in me that I/ The Son of God/ had subconsciously created to “save” me from being rejected (separated) – it has functioned in a way to make me adjust to others expectations by denying what is right for me, and thereby cruelly crushing myself in order to be “loved” and “included.” It was when this happened that the flu could have its entrance: the immunesystem was crashed.
So I met this rabiate part yesterday with acceptance and even love, and told it that the past is over, it can relax – and I told him of the friends I have now who would completely accept that i took care of myself and was kind to myself, for a change.
The strange thing is, it LISTENED. It cooled down. I suggested it might take a holiday, and that i could take care of myself. And that I really loved that it was trying to protect me – but that the vigilance and zealousness was not necessary.
This last night, in the crazy pain of the influenza, symbolic of the crazy pain of allowing myself to be crazily attacked to “protect” me for something that “only” happened in a dream – I again told H.S “enough already” and meant it again. Then the night-dream happened, and when i awoke, the attack of the influenza was gone, and also my fear. I was in a state of complete peace and union. My mind was radiant. My body felt like a shipwreck, but poor body, I will take care of it and let it rest now.
”’
WIND is a powerful symbol for me for LOVE. He is a man who lost his memory completely as a 34-year-old, and had to retrieve is slowly. He now has a cultural center close to where I live, and i held a creative writing workshop there, where he participated. At one moment there, he was looking at me, and he disappeard while LOVE was left, looking at me. And then I left to, and became LOVE. Looking at love.
Anybody interested might google “Hunting for memory” and read the Norwegian FilmInstitute-site about the documentary about Wind, where he goes to China to hunt for his memory. There is a great photo of him on the site.
So I have digressed a LOT :-) -and that happens in dreams, right?
I’ll go rest-sleep for a couple of days now. Taking care of this ol’ body. Love you all!
snoooze
October 1st, 2009 at 7:51 am
I am having the weirdest wonderfullest dreams about a catlamalaughing and a Debbi who pounces God on the head and people sitting or not on cakes and a sweet nunny making chickenbroth…mmm I can actually smell it in my dream – I will wake up just for two minutes and eat the broth, and Dreamy, feel free to include me in your dream, I want to be part of your spiritual experiences too. The female ones, see. Excactly.
It is VERY healthy to laugh in sleep. Just keep’em coming, all that great laughing stuff.
And Deb, you are getting a Jaquie Lawsion card from me: please check your spamfolder.
Ah. Back to sleep.
October 10th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
OK, Debbi. The dream I started down in the Grotto: I was in Rome, and he pretended ( or everybody believed) that he was the Pope. I told Him my favorite place in Rome was the Pyramid. We then relocated to the garden of the University in Oslo, and we were softly walking in the garden, he had his left arm around my shoulder and held my right hand very lightly in His.
It was a timeless feeling, like we had been walking there forever. He then told me that in the time to come, i had to be courageous, and then He left.
I found a bus home,and it passed through two dimensions. In the first I knew that everything i perceived was created by me in that moment. We passed through that, and I found myself back in the more solidseeming one.
In the time that followed, a number of really scary things happened, but I was not scared, did not believe they were real, so it was easy to be courageous.
N O S
October 10th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Wow, very cool dream, Nina!! What a very wonderful experience of Him to have. The dimensions you describe going through are fascinating, too. I will be reading this one over and over I’m thinkin.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
This is the place to share night dreams right?..so here goes, I tried to shorten but needed to keep the content….. and if this were your dream…..I am sure I am defending and not seeing all this holds.
It is a beautiful day and my husband wants to show me something down below the roof top. He takes both my hands and leads me…I am walking forward and he is walking backwards and we go nearer the edge of the roof and he wants to show me the oldest building, says it is black lacquered and he points it out and I look over and we laugh at this black lacquered church type building….I say it reminds me of my/our black lacquered end tables and we laugh and laugh.
Then we are nearer the end of the roof and I am afraid either for him or for me and I let go his hands and lay down and cry, just cry. I notice that everyone is just standing while I cry. Some are telling me things. I am emotional, upset. I have sometime, can’t remember when, given my gun to a man who is sitting on the roof…older, white gentleman, white hair, has a lot of knowledge about guns and things and now I want it back, REALLY want it back and he does nothing, just ignores me and I am so upset and throwing a fit. I want it back and obviously am not getting it back.
Later I ask my husband a question about something he did and he says yes he did that and when I hear him say yes he did I am livid. He is in white. I say well that’s it, it is done, it is over, I have another fit, throw myself down on the rooftop and cry and cry. All these witnesses are just watching, and later I begin to feel strange about crying and having tantrums.
Now it is dark, night, and I am heading toward this large, antebellum white house with lots of light on. See people inside. My son and a woman are with me, he in front and she behind. As we enter I see so many people, men and women together, very close together and the mood is upbeat, they are face to face communicating and I think, umm, what is this here, something sexual, it this a whorehouse?
As we file through and head to another room an interior room I think we should or are going to the bathroom… and then.
SURPRISE! I hear……… and the lights come on, didn’t know they were off, and the curtain opens up and, all these people, women are surrounding me, happy, smiling, and my son and the women are in the closet, they were all in on the surprise, and this little women in front of me is talking and I don’t like her, she is short, has on glasses, and now reminds me of the woman munchkin in Wizard of Oz, and she says,
ALL of them LOVE ME. They ALL LOVE ME, and she says MARY, points to women beside my son, LOVES ME MOST OF ALL. The more I hear this the more I am so upset and crying and crying, I don’t like this woman in front of me and don’t like these women surrounding me and I say I don’t even KNOW Mary. I am crying so hard and wake up emotional.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
ninjanun, thank you for sharing your dream. : )
October 15th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Ninjanun: Your dream sounds exhausting in its contrasts. From Highs to Lows, rooftops to tantrums on the floor, black then white, happy then upset, men and women, Swinging through opposites at every turn. Reminds me of the Monk’s hammock story where this may all be symbolic of us swinging back and forth from right mind to wrong mind. It’s in the obvious contrasts that we can best see what we are choosing.
The question still remains…Who is this Mary standing next to your son? So even within the dream of a surprise party the surprises continue. It sounds like you are very close to knowing, hence the flood of tears.
Thanks for sharing the message its clearly filled with tremendous love.
Hugs,
Annie
October 15th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Ninjanun, In your dream you seem to be minus many of your defenses… your gun, you’re thrown into a surprise party unwittingly, you don’t know the people, you don’t know this “Mary” they say loves you so… your husband appears to be ‘leading’ you, and then ‘disappointing’ you.. Many fearful situations. Have you had further thoughts about your dream? Is this ’son’ your waking life son? Or the Son of Mary? I would love to hear more..
October 15th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
my husband’s name is X, yes his real name given at birth is X……quite a symbol
also the black “lack”, that was a type of church =my belief in sin and guilt that with X’s help was only funny, it was over there but reminded me of MY black lack
we were on the roof, above the battleground
yes i was truly upset i had given away my gun and to the person with knowledge
it was supposedly my son which would make a son and mary there
antebellum means before the war and I didn’t even know the lights were off!
i didn’t like the woman in front of me, munchkin that she was, wonder who that would be?
I did feel much love at the end….thanks you monklings, no munchkins here.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Could the munchkin woman be symbolizing the ’small self’ the Course talks about?
October 16th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Pam, got the same idea. Maybe?
October 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Hi guys! ok, I’ve had a few dreams lately that have been cool, but I’ll share the one from a few nights ago now.
In my dream I was observing Nick and I lying in a coffin together, we were both “dead”. we looked so tranquil, beautiful and peaceful. I had the thought, “whoever did their make up to make them look alive did a really good job.” (not sure if this thought was in the dream or after I woke up and was thinking about it). I was outside of the coffin, observing my grams coming in and doing things, and a doctor. I had really no thoughts or fear/feeling of any sort. I was not identified with a body of any kind, more like an awareness.
Then, I am at line at the DMV telling the counter person that I had died, but I came back to life and I would need a new drivers license (i guess the doctor had already notified dmv that we were dead?). Again I had no thought that lead me to the DMV just “knew” I had to go there. I came back home and was just sitting in my house doing nothing. The doctor and my grams were there, but they didn’t seem to notice me, they were near our bodies. They weren’t talking to me or anything and when I say “me” I was not identified with my body that was lying there, I’m not even sure they “saw” me. In the coffin our bodies had moved to face each other (before we were laying side by side holding hands) and the doctor was explaining to my grams that he couldn’t explain what happened but that we had come back to life. Our eyes were not open nor were our bodies doing anything, just still peaceful and serene and still inside the coffin. I was still watching all this happen from outside (the Mind, maybe?) and still having no thoughts, no where to go, nothing to do. I had no awareness of any attachment to the bodies of Heather and Nick, my Grams, or the Doctor. Also, I had no emotion or feelings about anything that was happening, I can’t really describe how I “felt” except for I was just there and was at peace I guess, but that doesn’t even feel right. it was very ordinary, not bad or good.
When I woke up I was excited to share the dream with Nick until I realized that he was not there (in the dream) with me either. There was no Nick and no Nick and Heather dynamics at all and I began to cry and feel very threatened because I realized that I am just not ready to give him/us up, as painful as it is t preserve us I just cannot imagine life without him/us and I know I am choosing this over the All Inclusive, Constant, Love of God. I was obviously thinking i would have to “sacrifice” our special love for the Love of God. I’m not really judging myself for this, but I am aware that it causes both of us pain the longer I make this choice and I am just not ready to let go in this way yet obviously. I also felt this was a pretty powerful experience in viewing everyone as the same in the dream and not having incessant thoughts, but an awareness of “things” I needed to do in the world (dmv) while not knowing or focusing on why. There was no analyzing. Anyway, thats about all! Like thats not enough to scare the bejezus out of someone, right!? Thanks for listening and any thoughts??
October 17th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Heather, My immediate thought is to tell you that you don’t have to do it without Nick… or your special relationship.. “You go together, or not at all…” I have these same feelings and fears about my DH, but have been assured we are meant to walk hand in hand, neither one in front nor behind, but together… No matter what happens in this ‘dream’, for now this is so. Nick is part of Christ, as you are… you will never be apart.
We don’t give up our special relationships, they are ‘tools’ the HS uses to help both forgive, and wake up. Keep holding his hand, dear Heather, for you are walking side by side. In your dream, when you are viewing the ‘dead’ Heather and Nick, are they not holding hands, and then facing each other?
I believe that Jesus is very gentle with us in this regard, the fears of what we will lose if we choose His Love. It will happen for you in a way that is not threatening, will not be seen as a sacrifice, but a gift. Something you will treasure, and treasure Nick even more… along with ALL your brothers. Your love will grow to encompass everyone, not be taken from you..
Love and comfort,
Debbi
October 17th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Beautiful, Debbi. And may I add to that: is it possible that the dream itself signifies a “shedding” or “letting go of” the idea of what you thought you were before beginning your journey of awakening? And the fact that you are doing it together? That would bring with it the thought of no longer being attached to those figures in your dream. I wonder…??
October 17th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
You guys are AWESOME! I feel sooooooo much better and yes I think you are both right. Thank you for your Love and Comfort and perspective. I am humbled by this gift. Many blessings to you both. :)))))
Love, heather
November 4th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
so….thought i would share this dream…. it`s nothing to write home to Mother about, but i rarely remember any these days… {and i used to have some beauties]..
“I am at a service station and just about to get out of my car when some unseen person tells me that i havent got the brake on.
I think how lucky that i am still in the car since my youngest son is asleep in the back.
I immediately apply the hand brake and the foot brake but the car rolls slowly backward. In a panic i pull the hand brake on more but still it rolls slowly backward. I pull harder but it makes no difference. There are cars and things everywhere and i am terrified we are going to hit something. I feel so powerless.
The car just keeps on ever so slowly rolling back and then turns, until finally stopping at the bowser.”
I was so frightened it woke me up.
INTERPRETATION
I think the theme of “back” is synomous with going back into my mind, retracing my steps and the tremendous unconscious fear that accompanies the process, not to mention the fear of letting go and letting the Holy Spirit drive me.
Even though the dream was very frightening to my sleeping self , my waking self takes comfort that the dream is showing me that i am being competently and gently guided with all due regard for the sleeping child in the back seat { who doesnt need to do any steering}
The Holy Spirit is at my “service” and it is He who will fuel me.
{I also feel the dream is reassuring me that i am going nice and slowly.}
.
wow ,as i wrote it up and an interpretation came to me, i see it was a really good dream xoxoxooxooxoxoxo
now i spose i should do last nights dishes ….oh buggar that i`m going back to bed
{yawns sleepily}
November 8th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Winnie: Cool dream! Or rather your interpretation of it is.. the dream sounds scary. I like that you saw a comforting angle to the message in the dream. Since we don’t understand how our process works or what’s going on behind the scenes, we do have the fear of not being in control. We’ve never really been in control, but the ego gives us the illusion that we are… Grace knows exactly what we need at any moment to help us wake up. This is not necessarily comfortable to our egos!
Thanks for sharing this,
D♡G
November 9th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Hi Lama Dreamsicle! With all the onion peeling, new class, Ken notes etc. that went on this weekend, I wonder if you may have had a dream you could tell us about. Any good ones lately?
I love me some kitty,
D♡G
November 9th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Meow’s it going, errryone?
Funny you should ask, DOG (not my sworn enemy). Last week I had a kind of waking dream that this lovably gruff spiritual teacher kicked my ass. It shook a few apples from my tree, if you know what I mean. Tough love can go a long way with young kittys sometimes.
So, yeah, then later in the week, two more dreams of ass-kicking — nothing like reinforcing his point. No rest for the wicked, I guess!
Like I said, it shook me up, but all the quivering and quaking loosened a few dead and dying apples that ended up falling to the ground. I feel a bit lighter. Humbler even (tough for cats).
Someone once said, “By their fruits ye shall know them”… well, by the looks of some of the rotten fruit laying on the ground under my tree I can see how I was preventing the recognition of knowing my Self.
I better get going. I’m doing better now, but I think a few more rotten apples are about to shake loose. There are times when a cat just needs to sit in the corner and lick his paws for all he’s worth.
November 9th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
L. Dreamsicle, I so appreciate you sharing this with us… sorry you’re having a bad-apple week. It can be a tough process sometimes, and just like you are doing, it’s good to go off in a corner and just lick your paws. Dad might call it ‘waiting for the fear to abate’, I don’t know. “Paw-lickin” sounds good to me…
{Fluffs up Dreamy’s corner-pillow, sets water nearby, food, favorite toy and plenty of hugs and loves}
I am SO glad I am not your sworn enemy, Dreamy… nobody should have to be so afraid of someone that loves them so much… even though we usually mostly are…
I have lots of bad apples too.
Love,
D♡G
November 11th, 2009 at 5:10 am
Tsk, tsk, Debbi, into the office of the ACIM Poets Society. You’re at the top of the list… for an award! Although I might have said “delivers a sharp blow to the tender parts, then seeks to apply a poultice of soothing herbs and cooling clay”. :-)
I smell a rotten apple here somewhere… J reaches in my pocket. “Hey, what’s this doing here?!” I say. I look at him suspiciously. He looks at me kindly. He places the apple on top of the big pile he has been collecting for me. Then returns and waits patiently by my side. I ignore him for a bit, then get involved in life. He bugs me. No, there’s that smell again! I glance in J’s direction, then look away. I can put up with the smell a little longer. Can’t I?
Dreamy’s Dream:
I thought I smelled a rotten smell,
And dreamed I fell into an apple hell.
The time it passed,
And it seemed to be,
That the apple smell
It stuck to me!
I tossed and turned within my sleep
Yet the more I fought, the more knee-deep
In piles of rottenness and smelly ‘bleep’
I swam and sunk till my nose did peek
Above the mess, some air to seek.
Twas then I felt a hand reach out
and touch me light upon the arm.
My fight became a gentle swim,
there was no effort, no battle to win,
the apples wished me no real harm!
In fact the fruits had no real aim
To shame or harm or hurt or blame.
And so, so calm I relaxed and bathed
In what before I had so loathed.
Knowing there was nothing there,
No real hate, no despair,
At last a light came to my mind,
My eyes did open, lo!, there to find
A golden fruit, an orb that shone,
Soothing rays splayed all around,
My vain dream a ghost long gone.
The air filled with a splendid sound,
All things embraced within a peace so still.
And I, no longer there, my role did fill,
A note within a Song,
All notes together,
Joined as One.
Peace, my friends!
November 11th, 2009 at 9:35 am
That is some way totally cool poetry Brother B.:)
November 11th, 2009 at 9:50 am
YESS! awesome! smiled hugely all the way through it! Wow you had some fun there, Bernie! and the end….mmm ahhh h hh h
November 11th, 2009 at 9:51 am
OMG Bernard, you rock! What a pleasure break from the swirling mess of ego nothingness to wake up and read your poem. Does that poetry just slide out of you like that? I feel like you just gave me a present this morning. Thank you!
November 11th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Wow, Bernard. Wonderful!
November 11th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Cheers Bernard! “The fight became a gentle swim” Oh Yessss!
November 11th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Bernard, your “Dreamy’s Dream” poem was just exquisite… as I choose Peace and wander about this ol’ Monastery I am sure to find its reflection everywhere. A space for hurting, dreaming, paw-lickin’ and delicious poetry.. all to help and heal. If this was Monk’s original vision for his Monastery, I conclude it has succeeded.
We ARE here to let our apples be judged by One Who Knows… gently. Your poem describes this for me perfectly, thank you,
D♡G
(Thanks for going so easy on me for my ‘ice pack’ faux pas.. I am sure that you are right, it did elevate me to “Literary Genius” status…)
{;-)
November 11th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Bernard: Thank you very much. This poem distills hope for me. We have always by our side that gentle presence that simply waits for us to understand we are just ONE.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Lovely Bernard, just lovely. Thank you.
I’ve been up part of the night, the last three nights as my younger son has the flu. And last night I had a sort of waking dream. My special love relationships have been coming up a lot lately, and the realization that they actually feel pretty awful. Last night,I saw that beneath my special love relationships is the desire to kill those bodies. And I was seeing myself and another fighting full on and really trying to kill each other. And in the mean time, I’m getting Advil and an ice pack and some milk for my son.
It was all a bit bizarre and surreal. But very helpful to really see that everything here is an attack. Even if it’s fixed up to look nice and pretty. There isn’t anything here worth keeping, and it felt actually relieving. But then again, I’m a bit delirious from the sleep deprivation at this point. : )
November 11th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Lisa, I’ve had similar experiences..half dreaming. I could actually feel/picture myself wanting to push my “other” off the cliff. Seeing that desire was terrifying but I knew somehow part of the process. My learning from ACIM/Ken/Jamie/HS helped a lot to deal with those experiences. I liked what you said about “to really see that everything here is an attack.”
In this lifetime, I did not learn to express anger from a very early age. (Can count on one hand times in my 40 years I can remember actually yelling in anger at someone else). I’m in the repression mode. So, going through the “looking at” my desire to kill has been very surreal like you say. Since I have been willing to look at it, I seem to have made more movements toward truth so that is a blessing. Love, Ken
November 11th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Kisa, I have had those killing wish dreams for years with my daughter. Always shock to wake up from. until I saw, that for me, the one i really wanted to kill was a part of myself that i could not allow to be as she was, it was too threatening, so i had this impulse against myself.
I then went one step further, and saw that fueling that attack was a wish to prevent any impulses from the child i was NOT to emerge – impulses of needing love and safety. And I succeeded in killing those, and that was necessary fro the body I was: you cannot be a child and go througnh childhood with allowing yourself to feel your needs, when you know you cannOT have them filled.
When i realised this, i for the first time forgave the killer: it was a kind of protection.
After that forgiveness, my daughter and I have a much more relaxed relationship ;.) and the Love that was always there, is coming forth more and more
forgive the killer
the killer is not real
November 11th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Thank you very much Nina…That is right, “the killer is not real.” I will read your post 200 a bit more. Did you write Kisa as a combo of Lisa and Kendall? Hugs
November 11th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
‘the killer is not real’- Nina, I would have to agree. For a while, I have been aware that I’m terrified of Love. And my ego jumps in with, “Well you can have this special love relationship instead. Won’t that be nice? You’ll get love, but not the Love you are afraid of. Sound good?” And it does not. It feels awful.
And then, I’d have fantasies of this special love turning to special hate and then that person would try to kill me. Always with me as the innocent victim. And the other one killing me. And this didn’t feel right. It felt awful.
And so last night, I really saw that it’s me that wants to do the killing. Rageful killing. And at the same time, there is a part of me that is calm and smiles and says, “Isn’t this all so silly?” The killer is not real. It’s just a defense against Love. I know this intellectually, but not as an experience as of yet.
Thank you Kendall and Nina for your insights- most helpful. : )
November 11th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
i was gonna go ego hunting in the grotto but I see yuz are all here. Lilling dreams – oh yes. I killed a abay once – bloody knife and all and in the lidst of the horror and shock and tremendous guilt I thought shxt I’m going straight to God there’s just no other way and I flew hard despite the fear ( that was there too) and as I got closer the guilt started to disperse and finally i was just floating gently. Didn’t actually get to see God but Peace was there. Real nice dream that one.
November 11th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
But I want to do some ego hunting. Oops I need to spell check my submits more carefully – L plate wobbles slightly. In the interests of indulging my newest learning – that looking for that good ol ego fulla is the name of the game – I ask a question: What gets your egos throwing their biggest tanties? The object is to get eachother to laugh at it – in place of the small mad idea we forgot to laugh at. C’mon it’ll be fun. Here goes.
I am absolutely squirmingly repelled by Greenies. You know, organicly-grown-hemp-home-spun-poncho wearing, bicycle riding, McDonalds shunning, meat avoiding,group world Peace meditating, indigenous instrument playing, earnestly saving the world by their righteous living GREENIES! I hate them! well hello? There IS no world! So stop making me WRONG for not trying to save it OK? (Throws blankie on the floor and pounds pillow.) And I don’t care if you’re really nice people and I don’t even give a shxt that you’re Gods holy Son with whom He is well pleased and that this is a holy instant opportunity. I just want to GET AWAY FROM YOU. So there!
November 13th, 2009 at 7:06 am
After some r e a l l y nasty days and nights, I had a great night and the day feels fine too – AND I had a dream. NICK – or anybody who remembers what the water flowing out of a pipe was for, in the “Little Buddha”-movie, that Nick posted – please post here and tell me. It set off this dream-segment, I think:
I am biking in the vicinity of my childhood home – there are lots of new roads/ways, and the ways are filled with water. Some places there are huge white waves splashing over the paths. It is a beautiful landscape, but I can’t bike there.
Another place in the drea,. a young woman that resembles my best friend is dead, but she still looks very alive, and tells me that I was the last face she looked at when she died ( at a photo.) I don’t like that, and ask her to return to me the energy she took for me. She agrees, and a wonderful bliss comes over me in a rush.
If this was YOUR dream what would it mean to you?
November 13th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Good morning Sister Nina. I don’t know the significance of the water in the movie but I’d like to take a stab at your dream, if you don’t mind. It seems to me that water could mean a washing away of something. And the fact that the water covers the roads and ways around your childhood home could mean that that is being washed clean… that the waves mean that some hard work is being done on the remaining links to the pain that arose or was made in your childhood. The landscape is much prettier now but you no longer need or want to go there. You no longer need the pain. As for the woman who represents your best friend: it seems to me that she represents the “old” you that is dying, that is becoming no longer required by the Nina that is now more whole (in mind). You are saying to the old one that you no longer will allow your mind to be drained by the old thoughts, memories. The old you agrees. And you feel that freedom of forgiveness. I hope this helps you to interpret the dream. Love and hugs, DD.
November 13th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Donna, amazing ! -Love it! SO refreshing to have another’s look at one’s dreams.xoxoxoxo
November 13th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
DoG, it appears I need your help once again…
November 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
DD: I’ve never done video, I’ll try it…
November 13th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
DD: This website is ‘case sensitive’ – It didn’t like a capitalized ‘v’… that’s the only thing I changed..
Love,
D
November 13th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Dear Al, here are the lyrics for the video as written by Leonard Cohen:
“Hallelujah”
Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
There was a time you let me know
What’s really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
You say I took the name in vain
I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah
November 13th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
DoG, once again…
November 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
How is it, my sister DD, that you CONSTANTLY do and say things that are exactly what I need and love? This video is an all-time favorite of mine and I listen to it over and over. Excellent morning-after-medicine for all Grotto monks and nuns…
D♡G
November 13th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
{{{}}}}
November 13th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Oh man … thanks DonnaD. My keyboards wet … thank you sooooo much. My “issues” with deafness congregate most strongly around not hearing music properly and not feeling included in groups. Being thought of like that with such a poignant song touches something very deep for me. It’s starting to feel like I got enlightened when I wasn’t looking and this website is heaven!
November 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Me too, Al – my tears erupted (tried to) when I read
“And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah”
This reminds me of Monk’s poem, about coming with but an empty hand.. for one who talks a lot (D♡G), the metaphor of having nothing left to say but “Hallelujah” makes a powerful impression…
DD – does it again… and reminds me of how it works that while we are still believing in separate bodies, Jesus uses us to reach each others’ minds.. with His Love. That’s how it feels to me, anyway…
Inexplicable, inexpressable love for DD,
D♡G
November 13th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Here is a little something lovely for the dreamers (and to balance out the SHAMEFUL antics of those who shall remain nameless in the Grotto).
{{{LOVE}}}
November 13th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
{I think I heard me some Ssnagglepuss in that sign-off…}
Ssssufferin Ssssuccotash
November 13th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I learn lots from you, Debbi. Many thanks, and much love. Loved 206 especially.
(And thanks for lending me the sock. No cold this morning you know where)
November 13th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Aschewww!!!
November 14th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Thank you Debbi and Al for your kind words. I am also very moved by this story which is sung so stunningly by k d. I am also moved by her obvious humbleness when the audience showed such love for her singing of this song. Love to you, DD.
November 14th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
This probably isn’t even worth posting, but last night I had a dream where Ken was sitting across from me and said, “Are you ready to accelerate your healing by seeing your demons?” I said I was. Instantly, in the literal sense, a demon appeared to his right. Scared the hell out of me in the dream. Then I calmed down, and became accustomed to its presence.
Maybe worth posting just for the laugh. Talk about literal.
November 14th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Jamie, when I first started reading your last post, I thought I was going to see the word “spider”. I find it interesting that you say “you became accustomed to its presence.” We do that, don’t we? We just seemingly roll with it all and keep burying everything, making it nice-nice. I’m glad you had that dream. I think it is very powerful. It’s really wonderful to hear from you again. It was like my favorite brother was missing when you were away. Welcome home. {{{HUGS}}} DD.
November 14th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Monk: The demon dream sounds ‘true to process’ to me.. Ken there with you.. symbol of Love being with you as you learn to calmly ‘look’ at your demons with Him. Sounds as if maybe you symbolically agreed to take the ‘next step’. (You always knew you would.)
Your Dad dream/Visiting Jane: Same. Your willingness to let the guilt go over having ‘deserted’ your Father just when you thought he needed you the most… Oh, such guilt we all have over that. It plays itself out in sooo many ways, and is always painful. We who have huge problems over letting someone down… It is always ever this guilt over leaving and hiding from Heaven. I am grateful for the healing you have accepted, on your way to knowing your Complete Innocence.
Funny how HS uses ‘each other’ (Jane-Jane in this case) to heal our belief in separation from physical Dads … and from our True Father. Such love that keeps on giving us these chances to be free. Our daily lives are filled with these chances. Such enormous love…
xoxo
D♡G
November 14th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Mmmmm sounds like an invitation to acknowledge the hugeness and pure bloody insistant insidiousness of egoic fear. Doesn’t facing fear ie you calmed down and got used to it – whilst dreaming show a satisfying comand of mind?
November 14th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Ohhh… well said, both of you. Never thought of that.
November 14th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Definitely true to process, Debbi. He let me have it last week, felt like he had his foot on my throat. This week in Temecula I expected to get good cop. Nope. Bad cop, again. It was difficult but a part of me knows this is what I need right now or he wouldn’t be doing it, and by that night (after bad cop routine #2) I grew to really welcome the bad cop because, as in earlier in the week, it freed me. I feel lighter. He exposed some hidden ego, long hidden, long reassembled into a face of innocence. Now that it’s been brought to the light, I will eventually see my true face of innocence, not the manufactured one. On the way home in the car yesterday I had several profound glimpses of it.
P.S. Thank you, DD. xo
November 14th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Yes, Al, the dream was satisfying… but also a bit scary when I woke up. Like, “hold your horses everyone (Ken). Let me think about this for awhile.” :)
What you said DonnaD is so true… how we adjust and adjust and adjust to our ego, and become accustomed to it. Sad to think of us doing that to ourselves, and we all do it.
In this dream, my growing accustomed to the demon with Ken sitting right beside it felt like the working definition of forgiveness: being in your wrong mind with Jesus. Fingers crossed, anyway.
And now it occurs to me that it directly mirrored the experience I had on my car ride home yesterday.
November 14th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Thanks DD – that’s a new thought for me. Makes note to self to observe ways she accomodats and adjust to ego. Suspect this might be connected to the ego dressed up in saintly garp parading as an innocent monkling and slyly being a shxt whilst innocently smiling ‘gently’. Now I’m getting scared. Actually no I’m not – I’ll know who it is by the feelings. Whew.
November 14th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Monk: I’d love to hear more about your experience on the car ride home if you would like to share it…
D♡G
November 14th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I ditto that DoG but was too shy to ask – him being Head Monk’n all.
November 14th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Al: You don’t need to be scar’t of Monk… Just ask and if he doesn’t respond, he’s got a Darn Good Reason… But then again, he might turn around when you’re not lookin’ and say BOO!
D♡G
November 14th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
When Ken gripped my throat and squeezed, I tried to focus on his eyes, while blood was sweating in my brain. His eyes held me, and I kept them in my mind afterwards. Absolute hell was going on in the brain, the personality, and it seemed I could watch it through those eyes of his, becoming mine. They were calm while the storm raged. There was no going back, you can’t live through that and be the same afterwards. Keep breathing gently, that’s the only way. It’s all okay, the love comes through and the rest disappears. Then there’s peace.
Loved your poem, Nina.
November 14th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
at a kid, monk.
November 14th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Somehow I missed the kd song above so just watched it for the first time tonight. Found myself crying and feeling deep longing mixed with saddness. The last several years, deep feelings of separation and guilt have been with me (sometimes looked at with Jesus). These feelings don’t come up as much anymore but are connected to my mother. We were VERY close until about 4 years ago. Then, all these scary/complicated things happened and now we are not close but we are both alive and we both still love each other. We are not able to play out our old dance of specialness. I realize I am never upset for the reason I think I am and sense that it is some kind of gift of accelerated learning that I feel so separate from my own mother in this lifetime. I never thought my mother and I would be this separated (in form). Then, I read Monk’s posts about his Dad. Now, when I feel the saddness and longing for the closeness I used to feel with my mother…I allow it and ask for help…
I want the peace of God. I trust the process.
November 14th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Just a few hours after thanking Nick for posting the enlightenment scene from Little Buddha, I had a similar dream.
In it, I was at the foundation (where I attended the academy this week), when I noticed an immense funnel cloud, dark brown and partly hidden by some tall trees, moving menacingly in our direction. Ken was announcing he would be retiring, and when my attention returned to the picture window behind him (his news was so apparently so riveting I turned my attention from impending disaster to his announcement), the mammoth funnel had transformed itself into a massive vortex of energy pressing against the window, Star Trek-like. Yikes! I turned away from the window in order to shield my two children from impending doom, when . . . nothing. It all disappeared. Poof! It was all an illusion. I suppose as I advance, I won’t find the need to turn away, but to be more trusting in my safety.
More than a year ago, after reading Gary Renard’s books, I became interested in tapping into my hidden fears through my dreams. I asked to be given an idea of how deep was my guilt. The images that resulted were indeed horrific! In one dream, I was on a New York City subway, when a serial killer was stalking me. His imposing, skulking figure entered my train car, and inspected every other person on the train before his eyes locked on mine. The horror was indeed intense, and I awoke, knowing there was no escape from the situation.
I know that the sense of peace I feel on a daily basis is a good indicator of spiritual growth, but I think the lessening of the depths of despair revealed in my dreams/nightmares is also helpful. Thank you all, so very much, for helping me on my path. Although I rarely post, I tap in daily and am so grateful for your sharing of your experiences.
November 15th, 2009 at 11:17 am
#’s 215 Your water dream Nina and # 216 DD’s exquisitely perceptive interpretation.
Water in dream symbology can mean emotion – so another way of looking at that dream could be that you’ve been swamped with emotions that originate (seem to) in childhood. You know you are really beautiful ( the landscape is beautiful) but inegrating and feeling that knowledge when you’re looking at the swirling water can seem impossible (you can’t bike there).You know that reclaiming your power back from ego (the ‘dead’woman that looks like you and holds your photo) results in bliss.
I used to go to a dreaming circle before I hit the ít’s-all-an-illusion-so-what’s-the-point-of-anything? phase and pulled out. It was a very rich experiance. All responses to dreams shared added another layer of insight and when the circle became quite tight knit people would dream mesages for eachother.
Susan hello! That was a pretty clear cut dream and I ABSOLUTELY ditto your comment about despair lessening as I carry onward with the Course.
I share last nights dream coz it was about you guys.
I’m in a strange apartment and notice an alien looking crab like creature of evil intent in the corner. It scuttles toward an object that I recognise as a severed head – still very much alive. The crab fixes it’s mouth on the mouth of the head and bloooowwws. The head expands and finally the pressure makes it erupts out the back with a bloody explosion showering shards of bone and flesh around the apartment. ( aside: this is NOT the part about you guys!). Although I’m neither the crab nor the head I am somehow responsible for this and looking down find that I am indeed holding a smoking gun. I become aware that somewhere up the street men in black suits and dark sunglasses are looking for me as they whisper into their cell phones. My cell phone rings – I freeze. I have to get out of there quickly and with faked nonchalence walk to the car park where I steal a van. As I drive off I see a freind ( in ‘real’life one of my hardest forgiveness lessons) and know he will find the evidence and tell on me.
I head for the mountains and when I arrive see that the trail up is somehow made of acsending layers of brightly coloured suspended rope bridges. I wonder if there is a shortcut to the top layer and notice that the whole winding structure has a deep chasm right down the middle splitting it in two so that to get up a layer I would have to somwhow struggle up whilst dangling over hte chasm. Then from my right a wholesome American Family ( read Brady bunch types) comes and I can’t be sure if they’re coming down the mountain or going back up but they look real freindly so I join them. I wake up.
November 15th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Al, I love your interpretation of Nina’s water dream. It certainly makes sense (well, I’m guessing in terms of only Nina knowing her childhood…). Well done.
November 15th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Dear Monk, we shared stories of our fathers in the past. I didn’t tell you that after four years in The Air Force my father died just a few weeks after I got out. He was taken to the hospital and died with a stroke. This was in 1973, I had visions of our future together as father and son, but they were not to be.
The night he was taken to the hospital my older brother went to be with him and said that I should stay with our younger brothers and our sister. I had a hard time forgiving myself for not being there when he died. I should have insisted that he stay with our siblings, after all he had four years I didn’t have with dad. So, I have struggled with that guilt over the years. Reading Debbi’s post reminded me of that. I know now that dad would want nothing but the best for me. He would want me to be at peace my brother, it is your fathers wish.
Also, the dream of Ken and the demon brought to mind Jesus being taken up with Satin high on a mountain top or church tower, can’t remember exactly, but as the world seems spread out before them Satin says something like all this I will give you if you but worship me. I think this is when Jesus says one of my favorite lines “get you behind me Satin”.
I think maybe Ken represents the the Christ and Satin the Ego. You see the Christ in Ken, but Satin or the ego is there to give you pause. You my friend are helping many, as is Ken to put their feet on the road less traveled, but the ego is there to offer you anything you desire in the world of form. Ken is well known (famous) in certain circles, but he is not aware of it to any large degree, and now you are on this same path. I know, no comparison right, but the web is a monster and can make a saint or sinner of us all.
No one here doubts where your heart is, but being reminded that there is a choice seems only fitting. Ken as the Christ and the ego as Satin doesn’t seem much of a stretch. If this post doesn’t seem to make sense or apply in any manner, it will self destruct in 60 seconds.
November 16th, 2009 at 7:36 am
it sure made sense to me. Loved your last sentence :-)
November 16th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Thank you, Lawrence, that was really kind. It’s a nice reminder that my dad wouldn’t want me to feel bad about it. He’s told me this in dreams, but he also told me the week of his death….
His father died on the Saturday before he did, and I called when I got the message. Dad asked if I would be coming to my grandfather’s funeral and I told him I still hadn’t received my passport in the mail (this is just after you had to have a passport to enter Canada from the USA), and he was really kind and understanding about it. He had the most accepting and loving tone. I’ve always felt like he was actually talking about my not being able to come to see him.
November 16th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Powerful stuff on here…. I’m in the midst of listening to the latest class….lots of resistance…..as I have so many special relationships….so I keep having to take breaks to get away from it (class). I keep waiting for the part to come about making them holy if given to the HS. I’m asking J/HS to use this for His purpose… In the meantime….I’ve really gotten into these posts, dreams, music..okay..time to go back to class..
Dreamy has become a handsome beautiful specimen of a cat! Wow!
Love and Gratitude to all and for all,
melody
November 16th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
I don’t remember my dreams often but will share one from last night. Was outside of my house with my mother unloading stuff from my pickup truck(just came off a job site; used to do landscaping)when Cory stuck his head out the door and said “Hey Mom, there is a bear in the shealter belt”(this is on west side of house). I walk from south end of house to the north end on the eastside and peek around the corner and there is a bear silhouette in the trees and it is heading north toward the road. I go into the house and call 911 to report the bear and am now in the north porch of the house watching it cross the road( it is still just a silhouette even though it is full daylight out.)911 answers and I say “You aren’t going to believe this but there is a bear going across the road here”. and of course they are asking if I’m sure and I say “yes it is a bear”. Then the bear goes down into the ditch on the farside of the road(this is prairie grass area) and I lose sight of him and when it comes back into sight it shudders and turns into a moose.(moose isn’t a silhouette) The moose turns around and comes back across the road and up my driveway. I step out of the house and when I look again there are all kinds of strange storybook (not mythical) looking animals with the moose. I say to the 911 person this is strange…. This is where I wokeup.
Bear and Moose don’t hang out in Nebraska. Then I’m reading posts here today and there are several bear referances alluding to something in Jamies classes I take it.
Oh, one more thing in the dream I was being cautious but I wasn’t afraid of the bear.
Any ideas?
November 16th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
And Pam, I wasn’t ignoring your dream, I just have no ideas about it that could be helpful i think – except that animals i n dreams could represent instincts and impulses…but seen with a much more imaginal mind, there are ways to communicate with those dreamfigures, and then they might tell you about themselves. Ah, maybe I had something to offer after all.
November 16th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Pam: In a ‘dream dictionary’ sort of way, dreaming of a bear is of power, or an imbalance of power. Interesting that it is only in silhouette (diminished?)… Which turns into a moose literally before your sleeping eyes.. A moose usually represents steady movement though life, exploration of and sensitivity to your environment. Then there are all the small animals you say are ’storybook-like’.
If I would take a stab at your dream, even without the dictionary-stuff… a transformation is definitely taking place.. From a bear that cannot be clearly seen (silhouetted) and you are frightened of (you call 911); to a moose that is on friendly terms with many small animals (and you are not so frightened of).. Are there circumstances in your life that have seemed to clear up for you? Have you been experiencing more peace in your life? Do you feel that maybe your awareness is increasing? Your level of fear is decreasing? Cody was in your dream… does any of this relate to your relationship with him, or his life?
Just my thoughts, it was fun to contemplate your dream (I hardly ever remember mine).
Loves to you,
D♡G
November 16th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
I apologize for #268. I can see that it really isn’t particularly helpful and might only lead to fear, which is not what I would want, especially coming just after Nina’s lovely poem. In fact, Ken did not make me ‘feel’ afraid, but then I managed to come to him with fear in my mind. And then it was his peace that seemed to ‘attack’ my fear, by showing how unnecessary it was. He tickled it, as it were. He has never been anything but kind to me, but I found that kindness disturbing at the time, lessons and learning which I really appreciated from him. I’ll have to watch myself a little better next time! A wicked thought can slip in now and again.
Pam, from a book of Indian Animal Medicine Cards: The bear represents introspection. “To become bear and enter the safety of the womb-cave, we must attune ourselves to the energies of the Eternal mother, and receive nourishment from the Placenta of the Great Void. The Great Void is the place where all solutions and answers live in harmony with the questions that fill our realities. If we choose to to believe that there are many questions to life, we must also believe that the answers to thes questions reside within us; Each and every being has the capacity to quity the mind, enter the silence, and *know*. Many tribes have called this space of inner-knowing the Dream Lodge, where the death of the illusion of physical reality overlyas the expansiveness of eternity. It is in the Dream Lodge that our ancestors sit in Council and advise us regarding alternative pathways that lead to our goals. This is the power of Bear.”
I’ll have to expand more on moose later (got to leave for work), but a couple of shorts: “Moose is telling us that joy should be shouted with pride. The wisdom in doing this shouting is that the joy is “catching”. In a sense, the bellowing is a way for all of us to lighten up and give ourselves or each other a ‘well done’.”
Hope there’s something in this for you. Hugs, B.
November 17th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Bernard – speaking for myself there was nothing offensive about your post … my understanding is respect for the strength of the illusory ego is useful. So images that demonstrate it’s unbeleivable ugliness sit fine with me. Thanks for your honesty and well done with the dream analogies – it sounds very ACIM!
November 17th, 2009 at 1:19 am
B. – I agree with Al. Case dismissed. Lack of evidence. Irrelevant, immaterial and inadmissable. Fire the prosecutor. (The insolence, the audacity – the unmitigated gall-!!) Prisoner goes free.
Court adjourned.
Let’s eat. And let’s give the prisoner a little cream in his coffee today, shall we?
D♡G
Loved your dream information.. you’re STILL the best…
D.
xoxox
November 17th, 2009 at 1:22 am
The Prosecutor weighs in… “I can’t BELIEVE I just LOST this CASE!!”
November 17th, 2009 at 1:32 am
After the “three strikes you’re out” rule is applied, the Prosecutor finds himself unemployed… “never shoulda mess wid a Monkling on Monk’s Mountain…”
November 17th, 2009 at 1:41 am
Oh Debbi = you’re priceless! Dear god thank-you for Debbi, my new means for not taking anything seriously ever again … Amen.
November 17th, 2009 at 3:49 am
I dream of Moose (mooses) all the time, but then, you know, I’m a “virtual” Canadian.
And DoG, about the coffee cream –
I stopped drinking cream in my coffee – it didn’t mix well with the Monster drink concoction!
And the metaphysics again –
Without them my life is “boring” (as in boring to the ego).
But I am much happier just focusing my attention on “What Is” (God Is)
instead of all the what-if’s and omg’s and maybe-baby things of chaos/ego.
Not to mention the dreaded “love ya – mean it – bye!”
November 17th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Bernard, Your dream meanings fit also with Debbi’s as long as I interpet with HS for the meaning. This dream is the answer to my question about whether I am pointed in the right direction and still moving v.s. stuck/spinning circles and clarification about seeming disabled body v.s.healthy in the big picture of saving time.
By the way, meet Snowball our dog/gravatar. Cory wanted to use him so Athos can have a buddy to play with.:)
Hey Al from A, Glad to “see” ya(gravatar)
Anne/Texas, nice smile.:)
November 17th, 2009 at 9:30 am
group-hug?
November 17th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Yes Al very nice to see you. And Nina you always seem to know when I need a hug.
Group hug INDEED!
November 17th, 2009 at 9:45 am
That was the best hug, Nina. Thank you.
November 17th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Bernard, I can completely relate to whisper #268 and found it very meaningful yesterday. ;-)
Love and Gratitude
melody
November 17th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thanks, guys. So THAT’s what the prosecutor looks like?? Can’t believe I was scared of HIM! I didn’t realize I get special protection as a monk. The slings and blows just richochet off me!
Like your avatar, Kiwi. I’m from down-unna myself. Jealous of your coming into summer!
Thanks for the hug, Nina!
November 17th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I’m inviting comments on a dream that I woke up with this morning.
First scene: I’m in a store with a group of people that include my mother. I see a pair of shoes that I think are kind of cute. I look at them and think that they might actually fit and check the size. They are a size 9 and I usually wear a 10 but I try them on anyway and they fit perfectlly. They are a black mary-jane with a wedge heel. My Mom comes up and tells me that I should buy a skirt as well as I don’t dress up anymore.(In my waking dream life I am a birkinstock and yoga pant type of dresser.)
Next scene: I’m in the house that I grew up in, on the farm. I’m getting a massage from a young man. He is working on a knot at my left shoulder blade. He tells me that I have to eat dumplings if I want more clarity in my thinking.
Since I’d love to have more clarity I’ve been trying to figure out what the dumpling might symbolize. It was my Dad’s Mom and my aunt that made dumplings. Even though they are a very simple food, in our family they are a treat. I think that for both my grandmother and my aunt, treats, in the way of food was a way of showing love.
November 17th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
if the shoe fits wear it….. I think it`s a lovely dream with all the figures supporting and loving you. Dumplings are “simple” just like the Truth….
P.S. Why dont you dress up anymore Bev ?
November 17th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Hi Bev. I am sure you will get a number of responses regarding your invitation to comment on your dream and I am equally sure that all of them will be excellent and touch on the message of the dream beautifully. So here are my thoughts for your viewing pleasure. You, along with others, are looking for something that fits you (spiritual path). You try something on for size and although it wasn’t what you originally thought it would be, it turns out to be exactly right for you. Your mother suggests you try on something else in addition to your shoes (path) to dress it up a little. Next scene: while in the house you grew up in (world of form?) someone (Jesus/HS?) is helping you work on some knotty issues and declares that eating dumplings (digesting lessons of love) will give you more clarity. The process is simple and loving and you feel comfortable with it as it reminds you of your father’s home.
(Isn’t this fun?) Love and Hugs, DD.
November 17th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Hi Bev, my first impression after reading this is, it’s OK to be happy. It’s OK to feel good and loved and safe. The dumplings are “screaming” love! My thought is the masseur is Jesus and he’s saying, “Go ahead, love, and have some dumplings. It’s all going to be OK.” The dumplings mean love, and it’s OK to receive love.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! : )
November 17th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
I’ll give it a go Bev: I think you’re telling yourself to extend love to yourself basically. Massage, dumplings, flash clothes just symbolic of being kind to yourself. Maybe you’ve been putting yourself last lately or maybe you’ve been more kind and the dream is confirmation. Sometimes it helps to ask: if the (shoes, dumplings, massage boy) could talk what would they say? Can help get clarity.
DD that was lovely. The Lords Prayer has been a favourite for ever but I’d never aligned it so clearly with the Course. Here catch! Flings an enormous bunch of lillies over the ocean.
November 17th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
DD you’re GOOD at this!
November 17th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Good night all… sweet dreams… (or maybe I should say “have interesting dreams.”
November 18th, 2009 at 12:39 am
good night DonnaD….{sprinkling fairy dust over silver hair} xoxox
November 18th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Lawrence, Al’s post 327 may be what you need most – and it is also a possibility that these phenomena, which might be poltergeistish, could be a pointer to some frantic subconscious activity in the minds of your family.
I will suggest an energy-procedure called TAT.Put the thumb and ringfinger of one hand into the corners of your eyes, and the middlefinger of the same hand just a tiny bit above the eyebrows – the fingers are now touching a lot of energyspots and meridians. The other hand cradles the back of your head. (This handposition is showed on the TATlife website.)
While you hold this position,say: 1)there is paranormal disturbing activity in our mind.
Now, just rest and watch what the mind brings up – all forgivness opportunities.
When you sense there has been a kind of “shift” – like you yawn, or feel releieved -
you switch the hands ( same positions) and say the opposite meaning oif the first sentence:
2) it is not true tht there is paranormal activity in our mind.
Now, hold the pose and just hang out with whatever is presenting itself, until you find the shift.
What often happens is that when we hold the pose while having a theme in our mind, memories and images come up that we just need to look at with forgiveness.
The TAT method is very useful. The sentences I suggested may not fit you – just state meaning A, and then state the opposite, while holding the pose.
Whatever is going on around you will mirror something in your mind that has been judged in some way.Paranormal activities might be seen as crazy teenager-acting out. Find that teenager and love and forgive him, might be working – or not :-)
Al’s suggestions are what a Course-student would do of course – but having a bit of experience with wat you are talking about, Lawrence, I have found that when i am too scared or unbalanced, TAT helps me calm down enough to be able to practice in an Acimway – without so much fear.
November 18th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Nina – Doing in form ( the TAT work, or popping a pill) something that makes you feel better, without judgement, is my latest learning in the Course. It’s very ACIMy! TAT sounds a little like NLP – are they related?
November 18th, 2009 at 10:51 am
I don’t think so, Al. But it is kind, and helps me see what is in the subconscious in a very gentle way – with no side-effects, mind you (except for relief:-)
November 18th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I just checked out the TAT website – could it accelerate forgiveness lessons by bringing them into consciousness? It does look gentle.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:30 am
I hate to rat on the TAT, or rat-a-tat-tat on the TAT, but nothing is at seems. Nothing is happening here. Nothing. Never. Never once. Never at all. So while TAT or ACIM can be helpful symbols, the only thing that speeds you up or slows you down is a decision you make in your mind. TAT or ACIM would only give form to that decision. So use them, but somewhere be smiling the smile that says, “Things are not as they seem.”
November 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I was just in the Scriptorium with Ken and he was saying exactly that too! Thanks for the double reminder Mr Monk! I think the motivation for me comes from the thought that when things seem all nice and peaceful, instead of enjoying the hiatis, I start thinkiing: But heck there’s an ego out there to be forgiven and itchily want to go hunting coz I wanted out of here yesterday. I make the ego very real by doing this. oKAY – goes off to just chill in the grotto and practise smiling gently. Thanks again – illusory symbol of my right mind and doing nothing or not – I’m very grateful to you. Oh shxt – I just made you real again … aaaggghhhh! giggles.
November 18th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Some monklings have told me they don’t have time to read all the whispers so sometimes I will make a post out my whispers, like I did with this one, to make it easy for the skimmers or the non-cloister goers.. just so you (cloister goers) understand the double posting of the double reminders. :)
November 18th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
…in a world of duality and a split mind. : )
November 18th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Thanks y’all who responded to my dream. For about 20 years I sampled at the spirituality smorgesboard until 2.5 years ago when I started the Course and lo and behold it is a fit. Now the dumpling as love, that’s trickey for me. I know intellectually that eternal love is who I am and my friends love me as I have been able to accept them as they are. But how do I receive love? These words in the text spoke very loudly to me.
T-14.X.7. The only judgment involved is the Holy Spirit’s one division into two categories; one of love, and the other the call for love. 2 You cannot safely make this division, for you are much too confused either to recognize love, or to believe that everything else is nothing but a call for love. 3 You are too bound to form, and not to content.
I went to a meditation group last night that I had attended regularly for 10 years. We start by pulling angel cards. I got balance and I realized that I had no idea what that meant for me anymore. So I asked for an answer and in my meditation I see my Dad blowing smoke rings (my Dad has passed away) and my Mom wearing a doeskin type of Native American dress and dancing around having fun. I guess for smokers blowing smoke rings was a way to have fun as well. So these symbols along with the shoes and skirt(I enjoy dancing) indicate to me that it may be time for fun particuarly dancing. I must say that it is fun for me to play with my dreams, cheaper than going to the movies plus I get to be the star. There’s my specialness calling loud and clear. LUV YA BEV
November 18th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Bev: We have fun with your dreams, too.. I like what you said about not knowing what “Balance” means anymore… I can really relate. All the things I thought I knew before, are being re-interpreted. Sometimes that leaves me a bit ‘no-where’.
I am glad you received an answer so quickly!!
Loves,
D♡G
November 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Thanks guys – been a full and rich day here – lots of luscious learning for me.
Amongst all the depth of humane and generous clarity and care, compassionate and courteous sharing, honesty, earnestness and just plain sweet lovingness I had one question … how come everyone knows each others birthdays?
November 21st, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Last night a dream of absolute obliteration of self visited. The terror was immense. The thought on waking; So THAT’S what I choose to believe is true instaed of God’s Love? How insane. But also I felt great compassion – when terror that huge seems real i’d do ANYTHING to get away from it – no wonder i ran panic striken into the Universe. No one could think straight with panic that awful. but hey, just a mistake … can be corrected … with LOT’S of constant looking with J.
November 21st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
It might be a gentle road but if it weren’t for humour ( thanks DoG an all!) and the fact that I can eat chocolate as a foregiveness lesson it’d start to look veeerrrry tedious.
November 21st, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Pillows flugged, dear! which book are you reading?
—
Al…i am so touched by how you related to that terror (when awake :-)) that simplicity, that’s it. I am so glad you found us, you so feel like an old old friend.
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 am
Aw gee Nina that’s so sweet. I’m really glad I found you guys too. Here’s a bedtime (true) story for the “Äre we there yet?” brigade!
It was the special Olympics – a track race. The contestants set off at the gun, some legless, some blind, some intellectually challenged … all striving and doing their best. Suddenly a contestant falls and the person ahead looks back. Stops. Goes back and consols fallen one. One by one the other contestants look back and see the helper struggling to get the fallen one to their feet. And one by one they all stop … turn back … and return to the pair. Linking arms (those that had them!) they continue the race … to cross the finish line together – as one.
November 22nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
love it, Al! yes, that’s Home
December 13th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Dreamy dreams in feline language, translated here a few,
“Lions and tigers and bears, oh, no!”
“I am small and slight and gray-blue,”
“I am awesome in Security against Snow.”
As with all of us, may your fears lessen as you grow.
December 13th, 2009 at 10:49 am
This mornings dream: I am fraternizing with a group of freindly looking people, kinda enjoying myself although there are a couple of problems for example a baby whom I’m responsible for won’t stop soiling the clean nappy I put on her and I change and change them in an effort to keep her dry and clean. Slowly i realize there’s something sinister going on and all around me these freindly people are turning into zombies. Help! I grab a big crow bar thingy with a nasty sharp hook on the end and start hooking them through the neck, skull, guts … where ever i can and each time i do this they turn back into ‘normal’friendly harmless people.
i do this to all of them and there’s just one left … a huge determind and very strong looking one. A voice in my ear says:”There’s only one way to kill that one” but doesn’t explain how. I hook him through the skull – no effect, through the throat – he carries on … through the ear … he starts to moan: “Oh not the ears… please not the ears!”and turns into a normal guy. I’m momentarily relieved … and then the WHOLE LOT turn back into zombies at once and i realise all my hooking and grappling and killing has been worthless. I surrender to their bites and there’s a feeling of relief mixed with despair as i realize i too am now a zombie, a walking dead.
My interpretation: I’m finally accepting the ego in me without fighting, running or deceiving myself? Comments welcome.
December 13th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Hey, Al…I think you are right on. I recall something said (maybe Ken?) that our night time dreams are merely more of what goes on during the awake dream…namely, conflict. Doesn’t matter the form taken…there is always only one problem, our tremendous guilt for thinking we have killed God. And there is only one solution…you guessed it…forgiveness.
Hugs!
December 13th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Also to add to Laura’s It has been said (maybe DU) to give your night dreams to HS before going to sleep and let him use them to help you wake up. I did this for a while and it was interesting. Then totally forgot about it until just now. I think I shall start doing this again.
December 13th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Walking deads…I recognize sort of that phraze as describing all of us “down here”…and you really recognized it…both relief and despair…sure…what a great dream
December 13th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
I suspect, and rather sombrely, that this is the point Jesus says: “…and now we can begin…”
That point of recognition of the fultility of what i’ve made of myself … and, interestingly, though i have long ago said to God “Only You, i want no other”.. it is through the reading i’m doing here and the listening to the wisdom behind the banter that i am at last beginning to REALLY see what i must become aware of in order to make the exchange …
December 14th, 2009 at 10:04 am
I hardly ever remember my sleeping dreams, unless it occurs right before I wake up, but for the last several months, I’ve noticed that when I do remember, I have no idea who the people are in the dream.
Doesn’t that seem a bit strange? Any ideas what that’s all about?
Love and Gratitude,
melody
December 14th, 2009 at 10:17 am
I have an idea :-)- that something in you does not want to remember them. That is easily remedied – just tell yourself when you go to bed that you WILL remember them, and you might bring a manual recorder or a little dream-book – just note down an atmosphere, a feeling, a detail, an essence, and the dreams will come gradually.You may even adrress “The Dreammmaker” to help you remember ( that would not be the decisionmaker)
best of luck! yes, an another thing – when you wake up, do not change position before you start to write or talk – the dreams are kinestethically anchored in the body and their position. If you have to move to grab a notebook, do it s l o w l y and move slowly back to the position when you awoke.
December 14th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Melody…I never remember my dreams, either. Except every once in a while I will have something really big…and it is like you say…right before I wake up. Is it important to remember them? If they are pretty much just an extention of the awake dream…could a person get to the point where all is forgiven in the awaking dream but still have issues in the dreaming dream? This confuses me a little bit. You can bet that ego is at the bottom of that. I’ve resorted myself to looking upon it as a non-issue.
December 15th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Thank you so much Nina, for your advice.
After (not thinking ;-) about this for a day, I’ve decided pretty much what you said above, Laura. My waking dream, certainly has enough stuff bubble up for me to deal with, and plenty of opportunities to get back to my decision making mind. Getting back to my mind, is where the Answer is, and, I’m learning, albeit very slowly….;-) that to try to solve anything on the level of form, just accomplishes keeping me mindless.
I do think, Laura, and thank you so much for the question….that when we have forgiven our “waking dreams” there will no longer be issues in our “sleeping dreams.”
Also, as we all know, and thank you again for the reminder…is all dreams – sleeping and waking are of the ego, but can be used by J/HS to help us wake up from all dreaming…if we choose the Teacher of J/HS in our mind.
With Gratitude and Love,
melody
December 15th, 2009 at 9:45 am
For me, my dreams are valuabale becuase there is so much I have had repressed – and when i give the dreams to Jesus, the symbols in the dreams are helpful in letting me see it i n a form that I can accept and forgive.
But of course Laura’s and melody’s choises are just as valid – just depends on who you see anything with.
December 15th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Right on Nina- to dream or not to dream is not the question – but who you choose to see dreaming or not dreaming, with.
December 15th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
♩♬ I’m dreaming of a White Christmas.. ♪ ♫♩
December 15th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Good kinetic tip, Nina. I never remember any except nightmares. Then, I wake up, and get right up to go to the lu, saying thank God that never happened, kinda over and over. By the time I get back to bed, the dream is usually shaken, and I don’t seem to get it back. And then my waking dreams nosedive in during the day, so that the nightdream really becomes a non-issue. This is an ok, usually working, coping technique, but I am reminded of a little Gary Renard anecdote — totally my version of my memory of it –
Gary had said something like our lives are outpicturings of our repressed guilt. And this fellow said that he had thought about it and didn’t think that he had any repressed guilt.
Gary said, well, that’s why it’s called repressed.
So, I think it won’t hurt for me to keep that little pad there, and write on it before I move about. Maybe my dreammaker is pulling something out to look at with Jesus, and will continue until I do. Of course, I’ll still kindly cope right after I’ve tried capturing it.
I sure agree that once I’ve forgiven all my waking dreams, the sleeping ones will not be any issue. But, apparently, I am still working on that goal. Luckily, I’m not alone — but He lets me stall all I think I want.
December 15th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Barely asleep, I dreamed of the song ♪ ♫♩ Silent Night, Holy Night… all is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin, Mother and Child.. Holy Infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly Peace. Sleep in heavenly Peace. ♪ ♫♩
As I sang the rest of the words, I saw the Babe in the manger, bright with warm light, tender, gentle, and completely innocent. His Mother drew near to Him and whispered in my ear.. “You are the Child, you are the Holy One. You and your brothers, you have always been my Holy Infant, so tender and mild. This is your song.”
I continued to listen and to my feeble voice was gradually added the orchestra, the choir, until all of Heaven was singing to me, The Holy Child of God.
This is my first experience of Mary, MY Mother.. Love to all of you during this season of celebrating the time of our re-Birth.
Merry Christmas, Holy Child,
Your Mother
December 15th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Kendall,
I have experienced nightmares to be the best friends of my soul, learning to explore what I have hidden behind those scary symbols. Just meeting them with kindness, being with them when i am awake – and they change, and old needs, repressed, comes up to be seen and forgiven. It is a beautiful and rich process which leaves me grateful for every nightmare, without exception,
M ♫ M…I love you
December 15th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Oh Debbi, how beautiful. Thank-you.
Merry Christmas to you too, Holy Child of God.
December 15th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Debbie, what a beautiful dream. Thank you so much for sharing. Love you so. Leni
December 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
It dawned on me that line…you can only receive what you give away. So not even a month into accepting the role of Mother Superior and your validation arrives in a lucid dream.
Oh such sweetness and gentleness.
Thank you for sharing Mother Superior
December 15th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Thank you guys. It was wonderful. Or more accurately, “calm and bright”. I have known in theory that we are all the Christ Child. But somehow, I, was never part of the “we”. So I could think of YOU all as that Child.. but not myself. I hope my dream means that’s changing for me.. Love to you… Mother
December 15th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I know it means it is changing for me.
Calm and Bright. Illumination.
Thanks M♥ther S.
Your name is all the more precious now to me.
Love to you
December 15th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
*tap*tap* Is this thing on?….
I dream the same thing almost every night – a landscape that I have recognized bits and pieces from here and there….
Most nights I dream that same dream. For years now.
Last night, I dreamed I woke up in hell – freezing cold, burning hot, gnashing of teeth/eating…..pain and sorrow everywhere….
Filthy black birds were just waiting to eat scraps from the filthy ground…
No one could understand anything that anyone said…it came out different than intended…
I was afraid, and everyone was afraid all the time.
Threatened by everything that walks or breathes or creeps or crawls or even lives at all….
The past was depressing – the future was anxiety-provoking.
There was no love anywhere – only evil, darkness, and sin.
Physical love and special relationships that cost everything to earn and keep – still ended in sorrow every time.
There was never enough food; people were starving. Or enough water, or even air…or space… or time…
Hate, screaming, lying, sarcasm, vengeance had made a mockery of intimacy, and closeness.
No one could die to escape this living hell…it was no use to pray – who would hear you? Who could help?
god was some weak, struggling by-product of conflicted thought – part raging maniac, (the one with blood-stained lips) and part dying, gasping *fingers crossed* it will work out for the best…a powerless waif, or helpless orphan….
When I woke up I realized this is exactly how my waking world is, or used to be….
Angels and devils fighting over possession of people’s souls in a chaotic blend of superstition, and yet disbelief.
Of guilt and shame, and questioning…
As though the gyroscope that held the universe together was off-balance.
I wasn’t afraid of this dream at all–I was very calm, just looking around at it all–the sights and sounds, and even smells of death….I woke up and thought about the Course and how simple it is (but not easy) and how much I would rather escape this hell of separation…I don’t want to treasure one thing in that dream-
“The best thing to do with a desert is to leave!”
December 15th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
…”Have faith in only this one thing,
and it will be sufficient.
God wills you be in Heaven, and
nothing can keep you from it.
or it from you.”
Like you always say my beloved TexAnne. God is Love and that’s all I need to know sometimes. {{{Love to you}}}
December 15th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Thank you Ruth-Anne…yes, it is true….
God is not angry. He merely could not let this happen.
December 15th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
TexAnne—you paint so vividly with your words. What an apt description of this illusion. It sounds like you able to be very calm as you looked with ‘True Sight’. And to be able to condense it so well—well, that is your forte, I think. Hugs from across the border. DD.
December 15th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Thanks DonnaD -
The imaginary border between us – it joins us together, rather than separates us.
December 15th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Yes, I am right there beside you. {{{Heart}}}
December 15th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
{{{Heart}}}
December 15th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Minds are joined – bodies are not…this I know.
But even virtual hearts seem to go between both worlds –
Thanks for your kind thoughts…
December 15th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
You are so brilliant TexAnne.
Sometimes I think it makes it harder…
You are Loved.
December 15th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Looking on in wonder and appreciation…can I come in too?
December 15th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Michele {{{Heart}}}
December 15th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Michele, love. Of course you can.
December 15th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
I had nothing to add but wonderment and appreciation for all the dreams you wrote and commented so genuinely and wisely on and your snuggery closeness…so I realize I was saying Can I come in without adding anything significant. I’m feeling a little vulnerable tonight is all.
Thanks for the welcome and how did I miss Monk’s post on compliments that was posted Dec 14th called Flattery Will Get You …I’m not sure if he said “Everywhere. Have you seen it? and there is an underlined one L Michele like my name I never saw before either and I scrolled all up and down on the main page listings of posts before and
after Dec 14th and it wasn’t there…maybe it was in his classroom room of the monastery. That must be it.
December 15th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
You are always a welcome sight, Michele. We are all vulnerable and hesitant aren’t we.
I’m snuggling down now, as TexAnne would say. Sweet Dreams to Y’All, eh.
(Texas-Canadian)
December 15th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
{{{Michele}}}
December 15th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
{{{{Good night Ruth-Anne}}}
{{{{Hello and Hugs Back Cordelia}}} I’m glad you’re here too….I don’t remember seeing your name before and I’m going to look for you in the Monklings Gallery now :-)
December 15th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Michele – of course – Always come in!
Texas-Canadian……ya’ll, eh?!
December 15th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Michele, is this the page you are looking for?
http://www.acimmonk.com/flattery-will-get-you-everywhere.html
I found it here, under December 14, 2008
http://www.acimmonk.com/?listType=LIST_ALL_POSTS
:::::hugs and smooches:::::
December 15th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Mother Love, what a beautiful dream. Guess that’s what comes after singing ‘I’m dreaming of a white Christmas’ to yourself.
This picture seems to be all of us. Hope I get it attached right.
Nighty, night, :::::hugs and smooches:::::.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:27 am
Texas: Loved your dream story.. are you thinking this is ‘forgiveness while snoring?’ – maybe a big part of your process? I have heard of some saying that their nighttime dreams are used for this, as they calmly observe what’s happening. It sounds to me as if you’ve described this very thing. Fascinating.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Aw Katrina, the picture warms my heart… thank you so much. It’s beautiful. Sweet dreams.. Nite Nite.
G’Nite Texas, nite Michele, nite Cordelia, nite Ruth-Anne, nite DD,
and Anne, Leni, Nina, Al, Melody, Laura, Pam – Nite nite. {{Bedtime hugs}}
I can’t wait to hear more of your dreams…
December 16th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Tex-Ann – you write just as well out of haiku style as in. Ken would greatly approve the sccuracy of description and the calm with which it was viewed. Did it feel like an:’Yay i’m making progress”moment? certainly looked good to me! An i really don’t know what the hell a tuque is except something shiny on your head. Or smores – what are smores?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:57 am
Al – S’mores…..
The name comes from a contraction of the words “some + more” as in “I want some/more!”
The actual smore is this:
a) graham cracker b) marshmallow c) Hershey chocolate bar
All stacked like a sandwich, and melted.
The original way was to stick a skewer or coat hanger through it, and melt it in a camp fire.
Like when children’s scouting groups (Girl Scouts, Camp Fire Girls) would go on outings.
PS My toque is just what Canadians call a winter hat. See, we Canadians re-name everything from the US.
Monk’s toque sticks out a little. My is more like a skull-cap.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:23 am
Mother S
About my dream…yes is was very calm. I didn’t feel the need to react to it at all. Not even to “pray” for the dream figure people to get better, or for someone to heal them.
It was like in the first scenes of the movie “The Jerk.” When the father says to Steve Martin “Son, this is sh*t. And THIS is shinola.”
And then he walks right through the sh*t anyways.
When I first woke up, I felt a little distance, like a reaction-formation. Like saying to myself that I didn’t really care.
But I DO care, and I know that distance was false. Like canceling out one lie with an equal and opposite lie.
Now I love the people, I just let go of the outcome. Rather, my need to CONTROL the outcome.
(The outcome is a sure as God. I place my future in the hands of God. Your plan may be fool-proof, but it is not God-proof.)
*Male-dominated language offenders/offendee beware!*
Question, Mother. Why are most people who object to male-referenced language usually straight women?
They appear to be feminists, but at the core of their being, they are validated ONLY by special relationships with men.
I never understood that.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Thank you, Mother (and all) – I knew you weren’t going to be like the mother superior of catholic high school days! ;-)
I continue to be stuck—right smack dab in the middle of my resistance. I know this is a decision I made in my mind to push away Love. I continue to judge and condemn, and know that I am judging and condemning myself. I look at myself wanting to judge and condemn myself for doing this….but…..stop! Waiting for the fear to abate leaves me feeling impatient and sick of it…..but still I remain stuck…yet I continue to look.
Oh how terrified I (decision maker) must be. I continue to do my best to just “be” with this, without resistance. I am grateful for “mighty companions” that I trust will take me beyond this, as I have experienced before. I continue to do my very small part to know this is a decision I have made in my mind to push away Love because I am terrified, and ask for Help in a change of perception/interpretation.
What an iron wall this tiny mad idea seems to be….yet I hear Monk’s gentle voice saying (paraphrasing) that What got me this far, won’t leave me stuck in the middle….. I trust….
Love and Gratitude,
melody
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Just to let you know, 100 dream-related whispers from the Snuggery (old dream room) have been moved to Dreamy’s Pillow (new dream room).
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Emm – erry Christmas to you dearest Emm …i hope Santa fills your stocking to the brim with lots of lovely goodies …..Ho Ho Ho! oooh he`s coming !
December 25th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
A video for Dreamy -- here Kitten!
…and the lyrics to the too cool song…
Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie
Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case
Soon she’s down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up
And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes…
Nobody knows
Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love
And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes…
Nobody knows
And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes…
Nobody knows
December 26th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Each new song here i have to listen to with absolute concentration 4 – 5 times before the lyrics, melody and words start to gell and i ‘hear’it. This one was so worth it as I almost didn’t bother on first listening – just a mish mash of noise … but it got clearer with patience and repetition – a bit(lot!) like this course! And the effort was well rewarded. not sure why i liked it so much … but thanks Tex. xoxo
December 26th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Al of the Sunshine ☼
We sing more in our Monastery than Whoopi did in Sister Act!
This is a great video – like a dream, eh?
December 26th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
First Train Home
Love Love Love this artist…Imogene Heap. Will look up the lyrics for you Al, and everyone else who appreciates seeing the lyrics, and then paste them.
December 26th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
First Train Home
I’ve got to get on it.
I’ve got to get on it.
I’ve got to get on it.
Bodies disengaged, our mouths are fleshing over.
Is this an echo game?
Irises retreating to ovals of white.
The urge to feel your face, and blood rushing to paint my handprint.
A Frisbee one by one; your vinyl on lamanent, desperate for some kind of contact.
Chorus:
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
To Catch, to catch, catch-catch, catch.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First Train home
Temporal deadzone where clocks are barely breathing.
yet no one cares to notice for all the yelling, all night clamor to hold it together.
I want to play–don’t wait–forms in the hideaway
I want to get on with getting on with things
I want to run in fields, paint the kitchen, and love someone
And I can’t do any of that here, can I?
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First train home, I’ve got to get on it.
First Train home.
So what? You’ve had one too many.
So what? I’m not that much fun to be with.
So what? You’ve got a silly hat on.
So what? I didn’t want to come here, anyway.
What matters you, doesn’t matter, matter to me.
What matters to me, doesn’t matter, matter to you.
What matters to you, doesn’t matter, matter to them.
What matters to them, doesn’t change anything.
Got to get on it.
First train home.
Got to get on it.
First train home.
First train home I’ve got to get on it
(I’ve got to get on it)
To catch, to catch, catch-catch, catch.
(First train home)
First train home I’ve got to get on it
First train home.
(First train home)
Got to, Got to, Got to, Got to, Get, Get, Get, Get, Out, Out, Out, Out, Now, Now, Now, Now.
December 26th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
#164 Her Morning Elegance – what a great song and AWESOME video ! Thank you Texanne
“she fights for her life” when she puts on her coat or gets on a train or does anything at all without the right teacher ………………….
December 27th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I see her as a dreamer of her own cage-dream – but don’t really understand why- made me very confused
January 6th, 2010 at 7:36 am
Last night I dreamed I was a computer. <(WAY too much HTML!)
I “saw” the keyboard as my body –
My eyes were where the camera is, and looked out while simultaneously projecting images onto the screen.
Then I thought: *the image wasn’t what I was seeing “out there”–
that would be redundant – the scene would never change!
{Like when you take a picture of a camera, who is taking a pic of you! Or looking into two mirrors – into “infinity!”}
So IT MUST be that I was projecting images from within!
Then I started to change them – and found that I could.
Now the question was, as I was waking up (to a knock on the door.)
Do I want to keep dreaming about how great it is to change these images?
Creating “beauty” and designing scenarios.
And play around in metaphysical “never-never land?”
Or do I just want to wake up?
Once you know without a doubt that it is a dream,
you can’t really go back to believing otherwise.
PS: I was a Mac! (Did you even need to ask?) Browsin’ on Safari!
January 6th, 2010 at 8:57 am
Wow, Tex, this dream is bouncing off the walls with symbolism. Any clue as to who was knocking at the door? And was there a mouse…if so, did anyone run it?
Thanks for sharing your cool night dream stuff. Fun!
LTS
January 6th, 2010 at 10:05 am
In “real life” I woke up to a neighbor looking for cans. I usually leave them out for her to recycle.
She was going on about how important it was that she recycled the cans.
She was pounding the door down. Then she asks “Oh, did I wake you?”
No, I had to get up anyways, to answer the door!
January 6th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
So funny!
January 6th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
I found this stunning example of how my mind works…
This is not me, actually, but a pictorial representation of my thoughts.
There, I fixed it!
January 6th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
“did i wake you ?”
“no i had to get up anyways to open the door ” rofl !
TOTALLY AWESOME dream Tex ! – the way you processed it in your unconscious shows just how far you have climbed up the ladder – you go girl ! oh and please take us with you/ oh that`s right we are with you {grins happily}
and the picture – more rofl !
January 8th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I used to belong to a dream sharing group once and at the time i had some amazing dreams. That`s where i first heard about lucid dreaming.
Last night i dreamt i was walking on my usual trail up here on the mountain where i live. There`s a section right on the edge where the hang gliders take off and you can see the valley spread out below.
In my dream instead of the valley being there, there was a gentle blue ocean.
And then i twigged that i was dreaming ! But it wasnt very exciting at all really. It felt very ordinary but it is kind of fun to write it up:-
I am dreaming that i am awake while having a dream about being awake while i am dreaming… {looks cross-eyed}
January 8th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Winnie,where are you now:-)?
January 8th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
huh? …why right here beside your bed you big fat silly billy, sprinkling fairy dust over sleepy lids and wishing most sincerely that you will wake refreshed
January 9th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
Not too bad dust, I must say. And I had a nice dream of meeting jamie at his 24-th -ish age, very cute he was. I had the distinct feeling there is a connection between Farao Menkaure ( or Mykerinos) and Jamie – their smile is very similar ( I have photo of a sculpture of Menkaure, he and Akhnaton are my favorite faraos ( and the female one, Hatshepshut)
January 14th, 2010 at 2:36 am
hey guys, had a cool dream last night and wanted to write it down before bed and i thought, what better place than here!
i was moving into a new house, it was a big house with rooms on both sides of the hall. my roommate was a guy, he didn’t speak though. it reminded me of like when i was moving into my old sorority house (minus the guys ;)). i could hear ken in the hall talking with everyone, welcoming them (he was like the “house mom” hehe). my unpacking was so minimal (not like me although i have been decreasing a lot lately) i had 3 stuffed animals that i put under the bed (one was life sized and 2 were small), a scrabble game (what*the*heck??) and another small box, which i am not sure what was inside but i got the feeling it was important and some bed linens. i didn’t have all the clothes and shoes and other crap i usually carry around with me. BUT i did have 3 beautiful lamps. all lined up in a row. 2 of the lamps are actual lamps i know, one in my house currently, one old one that i loved that is now in my grandma’s bedroom and the third i cant remember. ken came into our room and said hello and commented on the lamps taking interest in them. i explained i couldn’t decide which one to bring and went and turned them all on for him. can’t remember what happened next. oh but i do remember he was saying he had a stomach ache and was touching his side. i said i was sorry about that and he responded, “it’s nothing that i don’t know how to handle” or something to that effect (in my dream i was aware he was talking about forgiveness). interesting because i have had stomach aches ever since i can remember…its a big forgiveness lesson for me still and i usually suck at forgiving them. but i felt like it was a good sign because somewhere in there i know what to do with them when i’m ready. nick also pointed out the ‘lamp’ that lights our way as we walk with Jesus and later i had the thought ‘together we have the lamp that will dispel the ego’. it also felt so nice to have just those few things in my room….humm.
sweet dreams all! xo
January 14th, 2010 at 3:01 am
How would an army act in dreams? Any way at all…
The scrabble game – can people have someone else’s dream?
It’s nothing I don’t know how to handle. Cool!
January 14th, 2010 at 9:41 am
Rockin’ dream heather!
I love the three stuffed animals and the three lamps. I love ‘2 of the lamps are actual lamps i know, one in my house currently, one old one that i loved that is now in my grandma’s bedroom and the third i cant remember.’
I love ‘another small box, which i am not sure what was inside but i got the feeling it was important’.
I love ‘“it’s nothing that i don’t know how to handle”’
Man, you’re really working it, aren’t you, heather? Trying to remember. Awesome!
BTW, I really loved meeting you and nick in person. You guys were exactly as I imagined. I looking forward to connecting again sometime in Kenville.
Love,
Lisa : )
January 14th, 2010 at 9:47 am
i’m a dreaming machine the past 2 nights. i had a cool healing dream about my tummy…nick and i were at our “God Parents” house visiting. a man came over with longer hair, older than me but young looking still…dont remember his face or name or any conversation except he asked me to unbutton my jeans while we were all sitting there and he put his hand on my tummy and it got SOOOO HOT. i knew he was a very powerful healer!!! he then told me some things not to eat (cant remember the specifics) but i got frustrated with him because i already haven’t been eating any eat any wheat, gluten, oats, dairy or sugar since april when i found out i’m “highly allergic” and i don’t eat meat either by preference so i was a bit resistant to what he was telling me and seemed to think i had already been doing what he said. anyway he of course was nice about my frustration. i felt like i was shown how arrogant i can be to people that are trying to help me which is good to be more aware of so i can keep practicing.
anne…thanks for your reply…you ask GREAT questions! the way your questions are phrased and the words you chose remind me of the way a taoist friend writes…very intriguing, thought provoking, and beautiful!
January 14th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Lisa, we must have been typing at the exact same time! It was so nice to meet you too!!! what a treat!! i think i dream more after i leave the foundation..i like it! :) yes, it would be so great to get up your way to the GREEN..i will remember August and we’ll see what happens. Such an intense kindness and gentleness about you. have a beautiful day and thanks for sharing your thoughts!
January 14th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
I LOVED your dreams Heather…. They have been on my mind all day. They had so many beautiful symbols in them and to dream of Ken – oh drool! I loved the lamps – `cause that bit about having the lamp to dispel the ego together with our darling Jesus is my favourite bit in the Course…big hugs to you !
p.s. speaking of arrogance – I know all about it !{tee hee}
January 15th, 2010 at 1:35 am
aww thanks winnie! hugs back! :)
January 15th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
I couldnt sleep very well last night so got up and read todays Q and A ..then went back to bed so aware of a deep deep pain… to do with all the mother figures in my life…. i asked Jesus for help and fell asleep hugging my blue book….
In my dream i am sleeping over at Jamie`s and Bonnie`s house… There is also a child there and a little white kitten by the name of Cip or Lip or something like that….In the morning i tell them i am meeting Debbi for morning tea at 10 o`clock..Of the clothes i have brought with me, nothing seems to match and in the end i realize i cant wear any of my pretty dresses. I `ll just have to wear the dirty jeans i wore yesterday..
Bonnie and Jamie are having a fight, just a little one and i feel like i am in the way. I get the courage up to ask Jamie if he likes me and he admits that he doesnt really.
I woke up and fell back asleep …
I am on my way for the appointment with Debbi but obstacles and frustrations keep getting in the way and i have to bring my 3 young children along. They are going to be hungry and are bringing a picnic basket with just a loaf of bread in it, but there is no knife to spread the peanut butter with { i never gave my children peanut butter} and all the while i am desperately trying to get to the train station to meet at the appointed time but it seems impossible. I am constantly irritated with myself that i forgot to get her phone number … what if she gets there early and i am late or vice versa….
………………
Considering i love remembering my dreams and rarely do these days and given my pain yesterday and that this is the first time i have dreamed of folks here, i am wondering if its purpose is to help me to talk about my reason for being at the monastery,and for the purpose of looking at my unacceptability.
When i came back to the Monastery, within a few days i began to feel like i had done a terrible wrong. Each day was worse. I felt like not only had i committed an unforgivable sin, but that there was no way it could ever be fixed. I felt like i was in hell. I would read other whispers hearing about how loved and welcomed they all felt, and EVEN THOUGH NOT A SOUL SAID ANYTHING REMOTELY UNKIND TO ME, I began to feel the most intense hate….. i wanted to run away but this time i had taken my vows and any way i knew that was not the answer. No this time i had to stay….
I believed most everybody, especially Debbi, hated me because my gut screamed at me they did. I had betrayed friendship. I felt like a traitor, like i had dishonoured the highest code….. and to make matters worse i couldnt seem to help but express myself in such a juvenile nonsensical way.
So i started applying my One solution to all problems.
But my forgiveness gear kept slipping. I just couldn’t seem to make it stick.
So I decided to approach the situation thus :-
Number 1 – what is the kindest gentlest thing i can do for myself in this situation ?
Number 2.- be ok with it `cause that’s where I am at
Number 3 – remember that Jesus always loves me
Anxiety started lessening……I was surprised to find that life was still going on…. The force of the hatred was so intense I had felt like i was on the brink of annihilation.
Immediately i began to feel better. I showed myself that i could in fact still go on living with that amount of hate directed at me. This was a new space for me, a new experience {that i could actually bear the hate} and i felt encouraged.
Now i could begin forgiving.
I decided my purpose for being at the monastery was simply to look at this huge serving of self-hate, that i had besplattered all over everybody here, reminiscent of other periods in my life, childhood and boarding school, and forgive it, no matter how long it took, no matter how painful.
After that, the pain though intensely searing, became shorter and shorter in duration as i held fast to my favourite part of Absence from Felicity where Jesus tells Helen that she is a perfect shaft of pure light.
When the pain hit and my sick and twisted mind screamed of monkling hatred for me, i remembered that everyone here is a figment of my imagination and that in reality each are pefect shafts of pure light…. the images i think i see are spots of guilt they hold for me. It was as if the Monastery was built in ancient times and i had secretly come here long long ago burying all my hidden hate thinking it would never be discovered.
[ My guilt was heightened by the fact that i never bought any of Monk`s classes .... well i bought one once but that was just to assuage the guilt]
Every time i forgave gratitude automatically flowed into my heart ….and Peace.
It wasn’t easy nor was it pleasant.
But it was doable.
At the outset alongside of practising forgiveness i practised what Arten and Pursah had told Gary about not worrying about whether people love you, but just to “take Jesus as your model for learning” and love them…. and that was an integral part of my process here.
My purpose for being at the monastery has changed now. Self-hate rarely shows up these days, well as self-hate anyway….
{ I am up to part 3 now…}
Now as i look at the dream again, i see it comes in two distinct parts. Part one parallels my Purpose for Being at the Monastery part one. When my dreaming self disguised as Monk told me he didnt like me, I wasnt bothered at all, because i have learned that kind of thinking no longer has an effect on mebecause it isnt real.
Part 2 of the dream is more to do with my development as a “human being” who needs to learn that is ok to receive love and that i am worthy of it.{i think}
…………..
January 15th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
{{{Winnie}}}
January 15th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
Winnie, I keep going back and re-reading your whisper. I feel the urge to say something and yet I hold back because I think that you’re not looking for anything from me (us) but are sharing a process; your process. How remarkable and courageous, I feel. I admire this and you. I also feel a kinship (kindred spirit?) with you and your process as I can relate to much of it. My love and my friendship. Hugs, DD.
January 15th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
dear winnie -
reading your post was very useful to me, as i currently deal with a new dose (and new level) of experiencing my own self-hatred. not easy, but reading your post gives me courage to keep going.
i trust all is well with you now -
thanks, and take care,
anil
January 15th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
So brave Winnie, thank you so much for sharing your dream and your process. I’ve had variations on the second part of your dream (minus Debbie of course) for years; so many obstacles and distractons preventing me from getting to my goal. Now I see it as the distractions of the ego in my goal of forgiveness. Blessings Bev
January 15th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
Cordelia i am so naming my teddy bear after you. She hasnt had a name these past twenty years… and hugs to you our dear silent sister xoxox
Donna Dear i have been thinking of you this morning… we are indeed kindred spirits, my dear friend…xoxoxo
I want to also add that i think i left the monastery largely because i felt so unconditionally loved by our darling Mother. I think i didnt feel i deserved to be so loved.
Mother you are a perfect shaft of pure love to me. When Monk made you Mother i felt i had been given an impossible gift – a mother to love and be loved by… How lucky am I……
January 15th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Yes thank you Anil… everything is fine with me…..This experience only lasted for a few weeks…… much love to you always xoxoxo
January 15th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
Winnie… Thank you for your love…
Love,
Mother
January 15th, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Winnie such a beautiful lesson you have shared. It blew me away. I think many of us can relate to this on many levels. (not just you Anil my friend) Before you revisited your dream, I took a stab at what it might have meant or looked like at first glance. I hope you don’t mind.
Winnie If as you say concerning your dream “purpose is to help me to talk about my reason for being at the monastery, and for the purpose of looking at my unacceptability.” Then your wanting to put on pretty dresses, represented you wanting to put your best self forward, and by having to wear your dirty jeans you felt unacceptable. The child probably represented the inner child in all of us, the kitten innocence and purity, Jamie and Bonnie having a small fight, nothing more than confrontation.
As far s Jamie not liking you, that would be the biggest fear here at the monastery. The person that gives us a place to share and learn and express love, not liking you. Add to that a Mother figure whom you love that you are going to be late meeting, unacceptable.
“Winnie I think the bread represented your right mind or love and the peanut butter the wrong mind, something harmful in your mind. You didn’t bring the knife because you wouldn’t harm those you love.
You said “i have learned that kind of thinking no longer has an effect on me because it isn’t real.” and “my development as a “human being” who needs to learn that is OK to receive love and that i am worthy of it.{i think}” You are so worthy! Thanks so very much for sharing I am sure it wasn’t easy, but I’m glad you did.
God bless us every one
January 16th, 2010 at 12:36 am
well Mother you are very easy to love ♥….
……
Lawrence thank you so much for your input – it was great ! hugs to you my dear brother !
January 16th, 2010 at 12:38 am
by the way … the kitten`s name seem important … when i awoke between dreams i remember saying it out loud over and over so i wouldnt forget… but i did….
January 16th, 2010 at 12:40 am
wow winnie, thanks so much for sharing with us. you are so brave!! i’m so glad you were able to realize you are worthy. i was listening to the “bright stranger” cd today and something ken said stuck out to me. he was talking about how the deeper we go into the darkness the more light we will open ourselves up to. you did so much amazing work and it sounds like you did just that :)
i too have “mom issues” and find such love and acceptance in Mother Superior here. i have a hard time trusting or opening up to women in general…lots of fears of rejection…layers and layers and layers to be peeled back just in this one subject alone. you have just opened my heart a little more…thank you!
lawrence: what you said about the bread, peanut butter and knife felt soooo right on to me…deep. i loved your thoughts!
January 16th, 2010 at 2:16 am
Heather i am glad you and i have connected like this specially after i was so drawn to your beautiful dreams of yesterday…big hugs to you my sister…….Thank you and everyone else so much for the kind comments….
I got a hug from Monk yesterday out of the blue which, when it happened my first thought was that i didnt deserve it followed by why not i am just another soul no different from the next needy soul and just as deserving…. it was a good moment..
…..
One more thing…..while i was being beseiged by my self-hate here, i thought how odd it was that in my daily so-called “real life” there was none. I dont have any relationship issues with anyone or any problems… i am the happiest i have ever been, but i never forget to never underestimate my ego and its conniving ways and i never forget that i am a liar `cause Ken says [ and i trust him implicitly} that if we say we are happy we must be lying. That doesnt bother me either.
I am just so happy that none of this, including me, is true and that i dont have anything to worry about :}..{ i hope that makes sense }
Thank you everyone, especially Monk, for giving me the opportunity to learn and grow…
You will never know how grateful i am xoxoxoxooxoxoxooxox
January 16th, 2010 at 8:37 am
winnissima – this goes right into my litle ACIm-notebook for sticky situations:
Number 1 – what is the kindest gentlest thing i can do for myself in this situation ?
Number 2.- be ok with it `cause that’s where I am at
Number 3 – remember that Jesus always loves me
God – what more is important to know? and do? this is for me what the essence in the Course is about. Bless you, dearest Winnie.
And i am reminded of my huge feeling of being left and betrayed when you disappeared for a long time – shows me how much of “mother” I had projected on you. and how much self-hatred that brought up in me: “see, i KNEW it – don’t trust mothers. don’t trust love.”
I think that’s what this monastery is about – in a place of kindness and love there’s bound to be brought up the opposite – just to place it here, openly, helping us all to see the utterly nothingness in those hate-feelings.
I am so grateful for everything you bring here.
yours, Nina
and a H U G
January 16th, 2010 at 9:40 am
winnie- all I can say is thank you for being so honest. I could really feel how deeply you went into your “stuff”. It’s so helpful to me to be able to see others in their process. It gives me courage to do the same. So, thank you winnie!
I have nothing more to add, everyone here has really been insightful as to the meaning. So much love here…. : )
January 16th, 2010 at 9:48 am
Winnie—hugs, Love and gratitude to you and everyone here~
melody
January 16th, 2010 at 10:48 am
Winnie: Just a word, thanks. You touched very deep hidden issues about myself and I repeat it, thanks for being so brave and help me so much with your sharing. To my beloved sister a big hug, lots of love and a chai tea. Lisi
January 16th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Winnie, your beautiful sharing has left me almost speechless. I’m so inspired by your honesty, and thrilled for your change of purpose!! Since I’m almost “mum” I will just say this for now: Like the others, I hold you in love’s embrace… You not only have a permanent welcome here in the Monastery and in my heart, but you forever have a Home in both.
With much Love,
Mother
January 16th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
G.O.S.H Winnie, part way thru reading your dream, I had to jump up and get a piece of bread with peanut butter. I think I identify with your badness. Probably not a coincidence that I had the mother love loss also. It makes me shudder to think of getting my mom pissed by being late.
And I had that same hatred feeling hit me from another site, too. If I said something, it seemed to be corrected and thrown back like a hunk of barf, and I ran and hid. When I began to comment here, one of the first things I wrote was a sarcastic ‘back off’ to poor Will. Then, I felt like I was just stuck being really a crud.
But then, Mom and YOU began to make tender responses, and I’m starting to come out of my safe corner. I still can’t banter, but I’m able to look at the fear with some smirking of how silly it is.
I am so grateful that you shared this and allowed me to see it in myself too.
{{{heh, heh, hugs, hugs, smirk, smirk}}} Katrina
January 16th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Thank you Winnie. Nothing else to add everyone has already said it. [[[hugs]]]
January 16th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
♥♥♥Winnissima♥♥♥ ~
I’m traveling on business and just now checking in. Seeing the whispers in the cloister about your dream yesterday was most compelling. I ‘ve just read it and written a long whisper back to you about it and lost it. So I will simply add to all the above heartfelt appreciations for your truly deep courageous and wise undoing process and beautiful sharing. I bet we all have much more in common that any of us realize with our undoing procceses. I love you, admire you, respect you and appreciate you more than you will ever know. xox Michele
January 17th, 2010 at 4:31 am
Winnie…thank you for showing us your stuff…so we might learn and come face to face
with our own stuff. We all have it…and I think one of the things all of us can learn
is that we do need to look at it…at times and with intensity as we can handle, being
gentle and kind with ourselves.
You rock!
LTS
January 17th, 2010 at 9:24 am
Dreamys pillow has revealed some wonderful Truths and Healing…the last 30 entries all heartfelt, vulnerable and honest! This is why I respect the Monastery and I know without a doubt we are being guided and protected by the Holy Spirit. What can I say that hasn’t been said. The courage to share …the love extended…I am grateful that you are all a part of this current dreamscape.
Lots of Forgiveness until there is Nothing to Forgive
Peace
January 17th, 2010 at 11:51 am
Thank you everyone for your loving and earnest comments….
Dreamy`s pillow is indeed a very healing place…love and peace to all who rest upon it
January 17th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
I so love my {{WinWin}}… Lollies (Internet speak for the best Mother has) for EVERYONE!!!!
January 17th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
And here I add my lollie offering – I am glad we are all part of something so worth joining!
January 18th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
oh boy ! a Mother who loves me AND lollies ! I bags all the lemon sherbets {my current fave}…. What ? I have to SHARE them ! {goes off pretending to pout to divert attention from bulging pockets}
January 18th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
HaHaHaHa!!! No, Winnie, you don’t have to share!! ::::Big smile:::: I have enough for everyone,
Love
Mother
January 24th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
I have finally remembered a dream. I had awakened in the middle of the night and tried reading to get back to sleep, unsuccessfully. So, I turned on my computer and put it beside me with earphones in, and began listening to a PLAYLIST of the monk’s classes.
In the dream:
I am back at my work, and this young network fellow who has always been so kind and caring to me, is walking with me to a mandatory Dept meeting. He is speaking quietly about understanding Course teachings. (He is the Monk’s voice I am semi-sleeping to.) We go into the Board chambers, a rotunda room that has ascending rows of seats. There are coolers down near the front with drinks for everyone. I just go ahead and ignore the dept head who is talkin, and this young fellow just sticks to my left side, continuing without stopping in his quiet determined explanations. I am determined to go thru one cooler after another looking for a diet coke. I finally find one, and head back up the steps to get a seat. He is right with me every step of the way, talking in an almost monotone, and I’m listening to everything he is saying, with the feeling that I need to hear all of it. I keep thinking that he must have all this memorized, because he doesn’t miss a moment between words.
I get to a row, and begin to go in. He stays right against my left ear. I look at other people, and ask if they can hear him. They say, yeah, he’s pretty annoying, too. But he just keeps talking, and I was thinking that it was too bad the other people were annoyed, because I needed to hear this. I remember thinking, Where does he get this stuff? Then I woke up and pulled the plug outa my ear. It was into the 3rd recording in the playlist, that’s like over 4 hours!
January 24th, 2010 at 11:17 pm
:::::giggles::::: “annoying”
January 31st, 2010 at 5:59 pm
I’m like you, Katrina, I never remember my dreams. I notice, though, that the times I do are when I have gone back to sleep from having waken. Hmmm, could that mean that I sleep too soundly to remember them?
Anyway, I have a funny dream clip to share. The symbols, though, are ones I am taking note of…just in case this is a message that I need to consider. I am out in the middle of nowhere at night…my two daughters are with me…and we are in a little white Geo Prizm car that I used to have but no longer…don’t know if there is any significance to being in the car that I had when first embarking on my separation from my ex. It is weird, though doesn’t seem silly in the dream, that we are all in the back seat of the car, and I am driving the car from the back seat! (Could this be a message that I am still trying to call the shots or be a back seat driver when Jesus needs to do the driving?) There is this trememdous hill that we are trying to get up…chug, chug, really hard. We finally make it. Then we see this city of lights
down in a valley on the other side. One would think there would be great celebration
for having found something…but we all have a feeling we are still lost.
Go figure. :)
February 1st, 2010 at 12:28 am
I wonder if the dream is simply affirming that you are already within the lights of Home and that therefore all this “really hard chug chug” up “tremendous hills” is not necessary. You dont say you are lost, but “have a feeling” of being lost – and feelings lie, dont they?
When i got to reading about “the city of lights” i started to feel joyful and then came crushing disappointment, so i wonder if that`s the unconscious fear that we might not be allowed through the Gates of Home so we better just stay “still lost.”
February 1st, 2010 at 1:21 am
By the way Laura have you seen the picture Nina hung on the walls of the Snuggery #534 Soria Moria ? It is the perfect illustration of “this city of lights
down in a valley on the other side.”… am also thinking of Paulo`s golden city…
and anyways big hugs to you ! and also hugs to Katrina… your dream was a great example of what Freud called Dreams of Convenience, hey?
February 1st, 2010 at 3:50 am
Winnie…good thoughts on this…thanks for giving some other thoughts on what this could be. Was it in the Q&A’s that dreams are simply more of the stuff of our waking time…just more ego drival? Guess they have more impact for me, because I remember so few. Thanks for giving me feedback.
Hugs!
February 1st, 2010 at 5:06 am
its all dreams, waking or sleeping, but sometimes i reckon the symbols in the sleeping ones seem to be richer, more interesting, reveal more of the unconscious mind and often in a highly efficient manner. Plus it`s fun trying to work out what they could mean :)
They say we dream every night yet many of us “remember so few”. So maybe it`s significant that on some level you chose to remember this one?.. Hugs to you Lauralove xoxoxo
February 1st, 2010 at 12:51 pm
So, these two last nights, I have had seemingly endless dreams, superdetailed, like really living again unresolved emotional situations with men – first dream about my husband – so much paranoia and jealousy from both parts, each trying to be what the other wanted us to be, and resenting the other for it – now I woke up crying from exactly the same pain >i felt after he died – the anger from my ego that nothing <i did, was ever good enough – but when I woke up now, I knew that this dream was an invitation to look at my perception, as I have given all my nightdreams to jesus for a very long time now – I decided rather quickly that this specialness was not giving me anything <i needed, and that felt great – but still i was exhausted the whole day. Then the day after, I was having a dream with my abuseive father where I was really breaking all the family taboos and saying and doing all I have never said and did – and when i woke up, it did not feel good at all, just an "all in vain"-feeling…but then I somehow heard that these two dreams were an opportunity for me to forgive and relinquish these patterns, and i was certainly willing to do so, as far as I know at least…and that is where I seem to land with this – i just feel lousy, having done it "wrong" again, knowing I have looked at this with ego,asking Jesus to be corrected and nothing seems to change at all -
so I just hold myself
I don't know how to get out of this victim-mode and it really sucks
if you see anything that I don't that you think may help…
February 1st, 2010 at 12:57 pm
I had a dream where all my old emotion issues with my husband (died 21 years ago) came up. Woke up exhausted from trying to have my way and be right.
Then today, I had a dream where I cutthrough all the taboos in our first family and said all the things that was not allowed to be known or said, and I said them – and woke up, feeli ng like a wet dishrag…and allthough I feel blue and depressed and achy everywhere, I try to hold onto the idea that these dreams were given me to just have the opportunity to sort of empty out all the garbage, and see the innocence of us all…so I was willing to let go of it, but I have no idea if it left…but I can hope
February 1st, 2010 at 1:42 pm
☼Nina☼ a bouquet of warm, bright flowers for you and warm, soft yellow (like the sun) blanket to wrap around you to keep you warm. Love, DD.
February 1st, 2010 at 2:59 pm
oh thankyou, it is minus 12 fahrenheit now, and the cold is going into the bones – love the sun-blanket and your loving thoughts are warming too
February 1st, 2010 at 4:35 pm
{fills up the hot water bottle for cold tootsies}…. cannot imagine what -12 fahrenheit must feel like … it`s about 65 degree fahrenheit here today and we wussy Queenslanders are sookin ! xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxo
February 1st, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Nina…yarp! A double doosy dream! Sending you puffy cloud-filled bedding for beachy
dreams where you are skipping over the sand in bare feet (since it’s so warm) and one of those big floppy sun hats to keep you shaded. Watch out for that spray of water
rolling in!!!!
February 1st, 2010 at 10:39 pm
{{Nina}} So sorry you’re having these upsetting dreams… {wraps up in favorite blankie, kisses forehead} =-= Love, Mother
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:29 am
This is a dream I woke up with this morning:
I was brought into a situation where I was taking over management. There was a elderly man there who wore hearing aids and his current aid was no longer working for him. The previous managers of this place had been tasked with ensuring that there was always a replacement available for him should this happen. But there didn’t seem to be anything in stock. No one had thought to keep the old hearing aid so that we would know what to purchase to replace it. I was feeling a bit disturbed by this as I felt that there was a responsibility to take care of this man’s hearing situation. I remembered that there was a room upstairs containing something that may be suitable for him so I went there. I had to go through another room that Jamie was currently living in. Outside his room were some cats who were in their own little space where some were contently sleeping and others were playing. I knocked on Jamie’s door although I knew it would be alright to go through it. But I didn’t want to disrespect him. He was in the process of writing something. His room was very simple with a mellow feeling to it. I explained that I needed to go through his space to get to the other room and he very graciously allowed me to do that. I remember his cats playfully darting into his room. I asked Jamie if all was well with him and if he was comfortable. I can’t recall his words but I do remember he seemed to be fine. We did have a short discussion and I do remember telling him that there was another door he could close if he wished, although it didn’t seem to matter to him. I went into the other room and discovered that the product that was there was not suitable for the elderly gentleman’s hearing and that I would have to find a way to provide for him. That was when I woke up.
I am not sure of the full interpretation of this dream but it seems to me that it is reflective of my using the Monastery and Jamie’s teachings as a way of learning what the main message of the Course is.
February 2nd, 2010 at 12:35 pm
DD: What do you think about the idea of not being able to find the previous information about the man’s hearing aid being a symbol of you letting go of former beliefs and now you’re ready to receive (hear) new ones? Just a thought as I read your story… That would be kinda cool. New beliefs.
It’s interesting that so many of us dream we are at Jamie and Bonnie’s home, isn’t it.
Much love and {{hugs}} to you,
Mother
February 2nd, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Hi M♥M. I like your thoughts on the dream. New beliefs feels good to me. Hopefully Jamie and Bonnie don’t mind us showing up at their place so much :::giggles::: Hugs and love back, DD.
February 2nd, 2010 at 2:36 pm
::::giggles:::: I sure hope they don’t mind…. I wanna eat like Dreamy does… edamame, avocados, and green drink.. But might we add something “hard” to my green drink… and I don’t mean celery!! ::::short snorts:::: {Do they allow cigars?}
February 3rd, 2010 at 2:09 am
great dream Donna … I love that your decision maker is “taking over management” of your life {instead of ego who is getting past his use by date]
The previous owners always had replacement hearing aids but there was none in stock – could this be a symbol that you`ve tried every other path to salvation ?
Does the elderly gentleman represent the ego ? Do you feel you “have to find a way to provide for him” ? Is the dream suggesting to just play instead?…… pussycats playing comes up twice..
loving hugs to you beloved !
February 3rd, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Ooooo, very interesting Winnie. Must ponder this. Hugs, DD.
February 15th, 2010 at 1:56 pm
I rarely remember dreams these days…. in fact in the last 4 years, i`ve only recorded 2 or 3 in my dream journal… this is one of them :-
I am walking along with a friend … we get talking and it turns out that there is a murderer around… i do not feel very worried but after a while i come to realize that my friend is in fact the murderer….
I am feeling very uneasy … i just want to get away from her but i dont want her to know how uneasy i feel…. there is no one else around and i desperately feel the need for someone to “save” me.
But then she knows that i know and she wants to know if things are still ok between us… i reassure her perhaps a little too vehemently, so she wont suspect how i really feel.
Meanwhile, my anxiety is building.. Finally we come to a large group of people and I am so relieved !
But all the people are looking at me with shock…. their shocked looks alarm me!…. I realize they are looking at my black and bruised neck… I have been strangled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My terror and shock are enormous at realizing i have been murdered without even knowing…
February 15th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Winnie, I have a recurrent dream I have had since I was just a toddler…it’s like i have the role of your friend here…a part into the dream I know that I have murdered someone – the feeling is gruesome apalling horrible, nobody must know, and the Police will find out, I MUST HIDE…but if I pretend i am innocent, MAYBE i will manage to escape from prison…
and this feeling inside the dream, and after, that i HAVE murdered someone, but cannot remember whom and when…
maybe it was you…or could it be the Big Man…no, it’s more like it is a child… and when i read your dream, I realise that I NEVER have dreamed that I have been murdered – I always manage to escape (or wake up)
but somehow our themes are related, emotionally, I think
…
thank God it is not serious
…
February 17th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Let us eat cake dream.
I am standing near ocean on the beach and looking out at water and all of a sudden see that the waves have stopped in mid wave. It is amazing and I can see schools of colorful fish and there are crabs, pink like ballerinas poised on their pinchers and they all are looking at me, the crabs, the fish. Past the waves out in the ocean is something hard to describe that I will call a water sprite, sort of a shape, not exactly, hovering out there. And to my right is a male child at a table and past the table is a man I take to be his Father, just there, not doing anything. There is a cake on the table and the child has cut a hunk and places it on a round plate and is offering it to me. He is handing it to me when the waves stop and all the creatures appear to be looking to see what will happen. End of dream.
February 17th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
maybe all the creatures in the water could be elements of emotion? and I am moved by their colorfulness and beauty…it reminds me a bit of Alice in Wonderland, where things are kind of zany and surrealistic, but could have a deeper meaning…and everything – all life is pausing to see you take that cake the child are offering – or, could it be that all life here is waiting to see what happens when you do – and boy do they have great expectations then – when I place myself in that image, it’s like I am Nature on hold…
you might know about C.G.Jung, who found something he calls active imagination..simply to re-enter the dream, and take that bite, and go with whatever happens -
- and my warmest gratulations too, Ninjanun – will you have your own gallery too?
February 17th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Nina, yes outside the dream looking back I would describe the scene as surreal but don’t know I felt that way while I was in it and (((hugs))) for you always.
February 17th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
yummy cake ! lovely dream dear Ninjy
“At last the gate of Heaven opens and God’s Son is free to enter in the home that stands ready to welcome him, and was prepared before time was and still but waits for him.”
February 18th, 2010 at 10:20 am
aooch such an exhausting dream this morning, woke up with agonized sobs – but such a clear message i think:
I was attending a small and intimate wedding, about 20-30 people, and it was a mixture of my childhood best friend and my daughter who was to be married. I had prepared a hat heehee for the bride – filted wool, very much in a kinda National folksy – style – beautiful colorful, and put my mind on the wedding-style by farmers in the valleys and such..
and so they all took their places, and i snuck into a back-room to just finish the hat, which she was to wear at the table – and it seemed that it was far from finished! And the more I worked at it( you cannot believe how much I yawn when i write this)the more there was to do forgossake!!!
the feeling was so familiar: having a HUGE job to do, and having to do it very fast, and not being able to, an the taboo-like feeling of that… I woke up from my own crying, I very seldom do that -
it reminded me of Sisyfos-work: the more you struggle, the longer way the stone rolls back again and you have to start again…it is a work that cannot be finished, and so clearly belongs to the ego – meaningless, and if you don’t finsih it, everybody will hate you and tell you that you ruined it for everybody – which puts a big load or responsibility on my shoulder – YAWNING – (good to let this be visible I see)
yes and it clearly has to do with being pleasing – to everybody – prooving it yet again …
and there really is no reason why I should do this anylonger
anybody feels like commenting?
February 18th, 2010 at 11:25 am
dont feel like commenting, just feel like hugging…. {{{Nina}}}
February 18th, 2010 at 11:48 am
Hi Nina, I rarely remember my dreams, but I remember one I had last night. The content was that I was stuck or trapped. I knew this, but was having a hard time getting out as everyone around me was busy trying to keep me trapped. It stopped right after I said that this had to change or else I would leave. Don’t know if it did change or if I did leave, It just ended there.
It seems we are feeling very similar things-stuck, trapped, work that cannot be finished, pleasing, etc…
You wanna hang out by the fire in the snuggery? I’m feeling a bit cold and tired. Some tea might be good now as well. winnie, are you coming? It would be very nice to just sit together quietly. It would help.
February 18th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
I would love to be there. Taking it very slow, hardly speaking, but snuggling and maybe singing or humming see you there, Lisa, hope Winnie shows up too ( and always room for more, big smile)
February 18th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
Dear Nina;
Nothing to say really… just sharing your tiredness. I wish I could join you all for a cup of tea, but post-breakfast here in India, and I feel “compelled” to get to work/my day-job :(
Take good care, and nice to think of you, Lisa and Winnie enjoying a flavorful cup of tea…
:)
February 19th, 2010 at 6:05 am
All of you have been a big part of my life for a while. Reading posts and whispers every morning. Thank you so much for sharing. My dream last night was so long, anxiety producing, and clear, that I wanted to share it. I was trying to get somewhere by plane, but I couldn’t remember when my flight was, if I’d have enough time to get to the airport, and was afraid I would miss my flight. It was a United airline plane. I kept trying to get to a phone that worked and needed paper and pen to write the information and didn’t have anything that worked or didn’t tear up when I started to write. Lots of different attempts and vehicles used to try to get to the airport. My last attempt before I woke up was I would just get there, walk if I had to. Just as I was about to go I couldn’t find my purse causing more anxiety about not having that and having to leave without it. Looked up some things this morning about my dream but I pretty much knew what it meant without having to. Any flying aircraft means spiritual awakening. “United” airlines (duh). All my efforts being stymied but I persist. Finally losing my purse (my identity). I’ve been looking at that and how I define myself and present myself. I guess that’s it for now. I feel somehow strengthened in my resolve to wake up. If the message can creep into my nighttime dreams as well as my efforts during my daytime dreams, well I just have to keep choosing over and over and over again.
February 19th, 2010 at 6:50 am
Judy:All my efforts being stymied but I persist.
THANK YOU for that – it helped me see my dream again, and now clearer: we have the same agonized feeling.
your theme I think is exactly the theme in my dream too – and the image I have of the small self – as someone who is different and special and NOT the same – and how everything i D O is not “enough” ( my ego is standing behind me now and clapping in hands and yelling “that’s life” -’and that is NOT life.
But the feeling of trying and seeking and not finding…how nightmarish is that as long as we believe that the nightmare is real.
I think I am starting to get the difference between nightmare and awake.
February 19th, 2010 at 7:17 am
Welcome to the cloister, Judy. Great dream and interpretation. United airlines… it’s funny to see the mind translate love into these types of symbols. Hmm, we need an airline for this dream folks. Come on, quick! Whadda we got? United? Yeah, perfect! Send it in!
This reminds me of how I dreamt of an airplane every night for a year after arriving in the USA. Every night it would crash. Every single night. Then one night it didn’t, and that was the end of it.
February 19th, 2010 at 8:20 am
Loving the sharing of dreams here. I’m grateful for such personal sharing because I fall into the category Lisa describes; knowing I had dreamed but rarely can recall the details and its all over the place. Mostly I wake up with a feeling like that of being stuck, trapped and or chased. Nina you have a great skill in interpretations and Judy I could really sense the observer in you is crystal clear. The dream was perfect in that it allowed you to come out of the shadows and introduce yourself to us. I feel you have a lot more to share. So welcome. And Monk your sharing always appreciated too…could we vote you into whisper of the day? naaah this entire blog site is what I would call a happy dream for you and one day like the airplane dream it too will just end…
February 19th, 2010 at 9:45 am
☼Good morning Judy☼ Great interpretation of your dream (well, it seems, everyone’s dream since they are all the same, I think. Just different symbols):::grins::: It’s good to hear from you. DD.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Thanks for the welcome. Now that I’m no longer a whisper virgin, I plan to share more often. Hopefully my 2 cents will help others as yours have helped me.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Judy,”I would just get there, walk if I had to.” Sounds like more than just a ‘little’ willingness to me. Welcome.
February 19th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
{{{Welcome Judy!}}} Loved your whisper!! I loved the clarity with which you saw your dream… the part the ego played… the part then of your right mind… and your ability to choose. Lovin it. Love, Mother
February 20th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Some dreams tell a story with a stream of events that together convey a message. Last night, however, I had just a brief snippet of a dream but it was quite stunning in it’s obvious message. I am left with only a brief memory of what was happening that led up to the moment that was so revealing – and inspiring – a “hey, it really does work” moment.
Whatever the situation that I was in, I was repeatedly making a decision with the Holy Spirit, choosing a certain course of action that was informed by my choice to forgive. I recall that it was a forgiveness opportunity that had come up many times before, and I found myself having to decide and forgive yet again.
Suddenly, in the moment I made that decision, the scene in my dream shifted and I was watching a nondescript black presence on the left (I knew this to be my ego) which was watching a screen. It was literally a frame with a picture in it of the forgiveness opportunity. In that instant when I had forgiven it and shifted to this perspective of watching my ego as an observer, as we both looked at the image on the screen, it (the forgiveness opportunity) went “poof” and disappeared into nothingness – just gone. It was really almost a lucid dream because I knew in that moment, as if I were awake, exactly what that message was. It felt as if I were seeing the metaphysical result we read of in ACIM of the Holy Spirit in His role of undoing error and collapsing time. I knew that particular forgiveness lesson had been mastered and would never reappear.
The Holy Sprit and Jesus wait until I’m asleep so they can get my attention because, I confess, that’s not so easy to do during my waking hours. But I’ve had many phenomenal dreams over the years, some that terrified me and some that were incredibly encouraging. The messages they impart, however, always keep me pointed in the right direction and inspire me to continue on this wonderful path we’re on. It’s so nice to have a light now and again to confirm that we are getting closer and closer to waking up.
Thanks for all the sharing, everyone, and Monk, to you, for the wonderful gift of your Monastery and your wisdom.
February 20th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Wow, Marla, that is so cool.:)
February 20th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Marla, thank you for this sharing. You were so descriptive that I could see exactly what was occurring to the forgiveness opportunity as you chose another way. A wonderful opportunity for us to truly realize that, although we may not be aware of it, there are wondrous changes going on ‘behind the scenes’. I am so appreciative. Hugs, DD.
February 20th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
I really love the idea of the Holy Spirit working with us during our sleep… what a metaphor… thanks for whispering your dream, Marla!! Love, Mother
February 20th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Marla:
these are the posts I learn most from I think – where the images are strong and clear. They stay in my mind much better than words. Thank you, and may you have many more such dreams to share.
February 20th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Thanks for your dream Marla. So descriptive. I have had sometimes dreams in which I can listen to the Holy Spirit or Jesus better than on the waking mode. Love, Lisi
February 20th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
After having that dream last night, I decided to look back on some of the other dreams I’ve had and pulled out an old journal in which I’d written. I’m amazed at how many dreams I’d forgotten. I think the ones that bore the most important messages, however, I’ve remembered without even writing them down. I think such remarkable encounters are meant to be shared because I know they are not just for this separated fragment to hear but are a universal message. I have another that I will share in a few days.
February 21st, 2010 at 4:17 am
Thank you Marla for sharing your wonderful dream. I received guidance once to ask Jesus/HS to work with me while I sleep, which I often do and when I do this I am more apt to question the meaning of dreams in the just waking up time when some dreams are still accessible. “What was that about? What did that mean? Was there a message in there?”. Sometimes the answers are crystal clear. I agree, I have less resistance while asleep at night.
February 21st, 2010 at 9:57 am
Had I read question 152 earlier than late last night, I would have posted this dream, the one I referred to yesterday. How odd that it was so relevant to this question about dissolving into God. I just posted this as a whisper after yesterday’s reading so you might have already seen it.
Question 152 very bravely and honestly talks about the fear we all have of being “dissolved into God”, because we recognize it means the end of our separate identities. The answer to this question was calming; “….he reassures us in many, many places in the Course that we will awaken from this nightmare dream only when we are ready to. It is a process that is mindful of our fear and moves in accord with our readiness. As you have recognized, his is a gentle, comforting approach: “Fear not that you will be abruptly lifted up and hurled into reality”.
My dream was about this readiness- a very affirming, awe inspiring experience. I was reading ACIM and had stopped to contemplate and connect with God in silence. I fell into a very light sleep and had an experience of my spirit (mind) – not my body – being drawn into a brilliant orb of light. There was nothing but a void, this brilliant orb of intense light, and my awareness of myself. I was fully aware and had complete control over whether I went closer or pulled away. It’s difficult to describe the “being” of this light as it was wordless communication yet there was an incredibly powerful, all encompassing and overwhelming feeling of fullness and oneness with the light. The closest analogy I can think of to describe it would be to say it was spiritually orgasmic – centered in my heart and mind – not physical. I felt I couldn’t bear the increasing intensity as I drew closer, and willed myself to pull away, but immediately wanting to return, I thought to do so and was instantly able to go closer again. The Light Source gave me complete control over approaching or moving away (with a great feeling of knowing and acceptance) which I pondered upon awakening a few seconds later. It was brief and as simple as that – no words spoken but in the experience, I was given the message that the decision to return to full awareness, listening to the Holy Spirit and getting closer to oneness – or not – is completely mine, whenever I am ready. It was a moment of grace I was blessed to experience, but the work is still there, every day.
As the wise answer to this question indicated, the willingness to dissolve into oneness evolves over time. I understand the fear referred to in this question but I am also aware that over time, practicing forgiveness has made me much less fearful than I once was. It falls away of its own accord because our willingness to forgive loosens the hold fear has on us. As I mentioned in yesterday’s dream, this is another manifestation of the metaphysical “behind the scenes” work of the Holy Spirit undoing error and collapsing time. My dream is your dream too and I so appreciate when you share yours, as they each shine a light on the way home.
February 21st, 2010 at 10:05 am
Wow Marla! Thank you for sharing.
February 21st, 2010 at 10:08 am
Thank you Marla.
February 21st, 2010 at 10:49 am
Thank you Marla, a beautiful experience.
February 21st, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Thank you for sharing your dream Judy :) Your dream matched the Q and A yesterday too {like Marla`s did} with the journeying together theme….. and Monk how freaky it must have been to dream of crashing every night for a year…….. ?????
Marla what a wonderful dream and experience xoxoxooxo
hugs to all :)
February 21st, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Monk, I’m curious to know if you ever decided what your nightly crashing airplane meant?
February 21st, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Hi Marla: Originally I thought the plane crashing was probably my ego seeing its future “death”, given I was coming to the USA to study and learn from Ken (though I didn’t know it then)… but then I told him about it one day and he said “but it landed, that’s all you need to know”, so now I think the plane continually crashing was my ego’s attempt to “not go there” (the right mind… symbolized by my flying to the USA to learn from Ken).
(P.S. The plane crashing/resistance also showed up in my body… Three days after I landed I became very sick with pneumonia, and other intense sicknesses and pain continued for the next 7 years, one of which almost killed me. And for that matter it showed up in my mind with lots of ego attacks/insanity/resistance/fear, too.)
February 21st, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Hi Monk – amazing how resistant and nasty the ego is. Being mindful that one cannot judge a person’s spiritual advancement by what is happening in the world of form, I would nevertheless observe that you are overcoming the ego’s ugliness (and I hope your health has improved!) I am very thankful for this resource and you, even though I feel I’m tripping around in darkness here in the monastery sometimes – it’s a bit cryptic at times for a newbie :-)
February 21st, 2010 at 11:31 pm
{hands Marla a Monastery-manufactured GPS that fits around the head so she wont ever get lost xoxoxo}
Wow Monk i dunno whether to be encouraged or discouraged by all the stuff you had to suffer …{sigh}
February 22nd, 2010 at 12:20 pm
OK, well I’m out of breath from running all the way from the classroom.
The dream I had a few months ago I call The Boyfriend Dream.
In the dream I had to choose between two boyfriends. I say boyfriends, but they were really two boys I went to dances with in high school. The only two dances I went to in high school. (I know, poor, poor me!) So they were not really boyfriends as such.
Anyway, I had to choose which one I wanted, I had to decide. And so I thought for a moment. I liked both of them. They were both good looking and nice. But there was one that I really wanted, with all my heart. And so with a flutter of fear, I picked the one that I truly wanted.
Suddenly he was standing before me and I thought, “He’s so beautiful. He’s so big and strong.” I was nearly overwhelmed.
Then the dream changed to where we were sitting together side by side and I leaned my head against him. My thought was, “I never thought I could feel so safe. Could this really be happening to me?” It was an overwhelming feeling of love.
And that, my friends, is the end of the dream. sigh.
February 22nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Just a thought…maybe your thought of “could this really be happening to me” told yourself that you doubted that you deserved it -
and maybe the boyfriend /Jesus and the overwhelming feeling of love was a possibility to dissolve the “me” – which is what we all fear…
but He was there, wasn’t He – sure feels like it when i read it -
love you always, Lisa
February 22nd, 2010 at 12:58 pm
what a beautiful beautiful dream ! I cant understand why for the life of me you waited so long to tell us ya big poop ! big hugs to you darlin
February 22nd, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Yes Nina, you nailed it about the doubt and about Jesus really being there. That was what I felt most grateful for after the dream- that I was able to let myself see, even for a minute, that He is really there. I had a glimpse. And now I cannot go back to totally not believing it. As I said, I am very, very grateful for this. It’s a mighty companion indeed.
winnie- I was just being shy about sharing it. It touched me deeply and just took a while until I felt comfortable enough to say it out loud.
February 22nd, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Marla,
It’s often cryptic for me too :) (even though I don’t think of myself as a newbie here anymore?).
ps. Loved your dream articulation of the disappearing picture-in-the-frame. Thanks for sharing.
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:34 pm
You’re welcome, Anil. I think dreams with messages like that are universal and meant to be shared. My most vivid, poignant dreams are the brief ones that seem to impart their message with unmistakable clarity and meaning.
Winnie – thanks for the virtual GPS. I’ll get the hang of it.
Lisa – wonderful dream – very encouraging.
February 27th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
I am unable to recall all the details of the nightmare i had last night.
I am playing a part in a movie where i get cruelly hunted, tortured and eventually murdered by supernatural beings. I am a supernatural being too and know we are all just acting. The director wants us to do the scenes over and over again and each time i feel pushed to the limits of my ability. I become aware of a constant rhythmic noise that is getting louder and louder. I am starting to get really frightened. I`ve had enough….I start thinking that it is really happening and begin to get anxious and confused.
Soon the beating noise is more dominant than anything else.
I feel like it is coming from me.
I wake up and for a moment am so terrified, i`m not sure if i can go on.
My heart is racing and feels like it is booming in my ears.
I feel disoriented because the frightening booming did not stop when i awoke. It was continuous as if to tell me waking up from nightmares doesnt work anymore.
February 27th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
{{{{{Winnie}}}}} An accurate symbol of our nightmare. Lots of hugs and love, Lisi
February 27th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
{{{Winnie!}}} what a nightmare! and isn’t it a relief to remember that the ego is the best soundtrickmaster in the theatre of the mind?what a great effect to make a dream believable. it IS really good at what it does -
thank God it is not serious,eh
February 27th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
{{{Winnie}}} I’m sorry you feel so scared. Are things better now? It’s still daytime for you right? Lets go find Dreamy he knows just what to do when nightmares come. I’ll turn up the monastery music and put some water on. No worries I can hang here as long as you wish. {{Hugs}}
February 27th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Thank you for the hugs Lisi, Nina and Annie….They felt so good ! When this happened in the night, i think i was lucid part of the time. I think i knew the loud beating was coming from deep inside me, my heart. It was so freaky. When i awoke fully, still nighttime, i didnt even think of forgiveness or Jesus or anything. I felt like i was in the hell i deserved.
Then i went straight back to dreamless sleep.
[strokes Dreamy and thinks the sound of a pussy cat purring has gotta be one of the most soothing sounds}
{sips tea and just enjoys SO MUCH hanging out with Annie and listening to Dantes Prayer on the Monastery surround sound system #33}
This song has been on my mind all day as if Jesus is saying to me “You big fat silly billy winnie ya forgot to “remember me” ..
February 27th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
mmm the tea wonderful and I so love your beating heart.
March 4th, 2010 at 4:54 am
So, this isn’t actually a dream but it has to do with night time sleep. Last night I started to wake up (at 3 AM) and thought, it’s too early, I don’t want to wake up yet. And in that haziness. I thought, well isn’t that the truth. Apparently, I don’t want to wake up yet, or I would. And promptly went back to sleep. Oh brother! Well at least the concepts are slipping in where they can.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:43 am
Judy, I really like that :-)
March 4th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Judy, me too!! LOL – isn’t it great when we discover that even in a drowsy state we sometimes choose Truth… and sometimes I wake up several times in the night and I am talking “Course-talk” to myself.. I laugh and go back to sleep. In the morning DH tells me I was talking and laughing all night… I usually have this sense that I’ve just discovered something that was so obvious I can’t believe I didn’t see it before!! Night-time shenanigans can be fun… Love, Mother
March 4th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
good one Judy …thanks for the chuckles.
Just after i started the Course when i was still in the honeymoon period i remember one day thinking “yep i`m ready to go/wake up right now this instant, there`s nothing i want here…. oh wait, maybe after dinner”
March 4th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Looking for some input from Dreamy here..
This evening I’m working through the feelings that come up in my mind, observing them as they arise, since Pumpkin, our charming kitty, hasn’t come back again tonight. Ten days ago he disappeared for three days, and we found that the neighbour had trapped him on purpose under a cauldron (she has a bit of a mental problem, though on the whole she is a dear, but we suspect she doesn’t like cats). He would have died if we hadn’t insisted looking through her out-buildings. We think he is in trouble again, as this cat never strays from the house, and Pat is quite upset tonight. We went over to her place but she absolutely insists she has nothing to do with it (she denied it the first time, too, saying that he must have tipped the cauldron onto himself, but this time she seems sincere.)
I’m observing the guilty thoughts that said we should have left him in the house when we went to town this afternoon, that I didn’t take care of him as I should, that I knew there were people around who didn’t wish him well etc. And then I get to see the entire mental framework in which this problem is cast: I cannot control all the elements in this life, life will never correspond to my expectations, even when I do my best, all things are taken care of in their own way, and all forms of the Sonship have their destiny to live out and our aware of the consequences of their actions on an unconscious level. Our Brother is there, here with me, with Pumpkin. We are one and joined, though the images on the screen of life appear separate, and may appear to be threatened. On another level, above the battlefield, all is truly well. There is a peace that enfolds us all, my kitty cat, you guys, me, everyone that is hurting or who is in danger today somewhere in the world…
This is where my thoughts are tonight,
Just wanted to share this with you, in case you had any thoughts to share.
Blessings, One and All.
March 4th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Bernard, that hurt to read – and how it hurts when we torture ourselves with guilt-thoughts about what we should have done – and everybody does that – as if that has ever helped – I really wonder why we do it – maybe we really are looking for ways to hang on to guilt – reading your whisper now, it seems even more crazy than ever before to me .- the thought that either you or Pat would bare any guilt at all for your cat’s disappearance
all my love and B I G hug
I so hope he returns safe and perky
and hope you will let us know
March 4th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Oh Bernard i am glad you shared that with us…[I was thinking of you this morning]…….
I just wanna give you and Pumpkin and Pat a big long hug and so much love …. and now i am asking my Tiger-Lily to seek out Pumpkin wherever he is and comfort him.
Blessings to you dear brother xoxoxoox
March 4th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Bernard, I don’t have any thoughts to share other than I’m so sorry all of you are going through this.
Re: night time shenanigans thanks for the comments Nina, MOM, and Winnie, thank you for the chuckle “oh wait, maybe after dinner”
March 4th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
{{{Pumpkin}}}
March 4th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Bernard hugs to you and Pat. Separation hurts.
March 4th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Good luck to you and Pat and Pumpkin. My cat was absent for 3 weeks in December a few years ago. We think he got locked in someone’s garage when they went on holiday. There were tears all around but he came back, weak but okay.
March 4th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Oh Bernard, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry you and Pat are so upset.
{{{Bernard-Pat-Pumpkin}}}
March 4th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Hi Bernard, your good friend Dreamy here. All of us monastery cats stick together, and I will look into this situation immediately. In the meantime I will send a message to Pumpkin telecathically to let him know you’re looking for him, and that you love him.
While we’re trying to find him you might remember that when my dad found me at the pet store, I had my arm around the cat next to me. The entire clowder of monastery cats has its collective arms around Pumpkin, and we will keep him company for as long as he’s away from home.
Did the Dear-Cauldron-Lady allow you to look around as before? In her basement? If the cauldron outside didn’t work, she might have hid him inside.
Please keep us updated. There is a candle in the vigil for you, Pat and Pumpkin.
Your pal, and Pumpkins,
Dreamy xo
March 4th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Bernard, great idea to call in Dreamy and his Cat Security forces… they will know how to make Pumpkin feel safe and at home no matter where he might find himself. And we will hold you in our thoughts and prayers, with our collective arms around you, too, my sweet brother. Until his safe return!! Love, D.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Bernard, I also had a thought that Pumpkin could be hidden inside. I hope you are able to investigate that idea.
Dreamy, I have never heard the phrase- a clowder of cats, but now I have. (And I know what it means ‘cuz I looked it up :) It is also comforting that you can send messages telecathically. It’s a very handy ability.
March 4th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Bernard, so sorry for you, Pat and Pumpkin, but I hope soon he´s going to be with you again. A hug and love, Lisi
March 4th, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Bernard -
Sorry have been so busy in the Grotto, that I forgot to look in here. Hope all goes well for you, Pat and Pumpkin soon.
Hugs,
Anil
March 5th, 2010 at 2:22 am
Thinking of you with much love bernard as you process each moment (and as i cuddle up in bed with both my dogs) Dreamy’s onto it … and wherever Pumpkin is she’ll not help but feel the love from us all in her mind.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:27 am
Hello, all my human brothers and sisters. This is Pumpkin here.
My dad says it’s okay for me to use his address at the Monastery, which is just as well, because I would’ve snuck in anyway. I can’t thank you enough for all your loving support and well wishes. It was at some dark hour of the night that I felt something calling me powerfully, and I don’t know how, but I made it back home. Now that I have seen all your beautiful thoughts and wishes that you were sending me, I know it was that which I was feeling. Dad was just taking a last look outside sometime in the early hours of the morning, and he found me behind the laurel bush. I wish I could tell you more about where I was, but I just can’t remember. But I must have felt scared wherever I was, because today I’m not leaving the house. As you can see, my brother, Athos, has lent me his special blanket, and that’s where I’m staying all day. So I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU! to everyone – I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it back without you. Now I’ll let my dad explain a little more… So, big, big furry hugs from your cat-brother in France, Lots of Love, Pumpkin
PS Dreamy, I got all your telecatic transmissions loud and clear – thanks, brother! I was sending back as hard and fast as I could, but I think the ethers were blocked in the other direction.
Hi, everyone, Bernard here. I was deeply touched by all your loving wishes and remarks to my message last night. Loss is always such a peculiar thing to go through. There is always that fear and deep pain, and always that remarkable presence watching quietly and kindly at the same time. In the case of Pumpkin last night, the feelings of loss were not ‘justified’, since he returned only some hours after I posted the message. It was not like him, and after the recent experience with the neighbour, we were fearing the worst. And so I got to see how easily I slip into feelings of loss, which is always very, well, instructive, isn’t it? I mean, he wasn’t gone for good, but I reacted in every way AS IF, and felt the pain of some loss EVEN AS he returned. Even when he was back, which was such a happy moment (especially when I placed him on the bed next to Pat who was already sleeping – her eyes lit up with such joy!) there was this strange feeling of nostalgia, like even with the kitty cat back in our arms, this was not a protection against feeling that same loss at a future time. Almost AS IF the loss were there, just waiting to be wakened by some outside event. I guess it’s easy to bring to mind Ken’s words about our original ontological Loss, and that idea feels very real to me today. I can understand it much better. So, there’s work to do in here!
Again, many, many thanks for your loving thoughts – I do believe they worked. I mean, I don’t know where the kitty was, but is it not possible that he ‘heard’ this call of yours to return, even as he might have been in the midst of some separating scenario, and changed his kitty-mind and came back? Isn’t it possible that even if he had been trapped somewhere, that having heard your thoughts, he chose again, and the script altered, no matter how disastrous things seemed, and so it was no longer necessary to continue with the video in which he gets hurt? I remember Ken writing about a time when Helen felt a friend who was a long way away contemplating suicide, and he and Helen prayed keeping him in mind, and he subsequently chose not to follow through. I guess we can only suggest to others in our thoughts that they remember the presence of Love for themselves, that there is another way. They will feel that thought, no matter where or when. This is the best we can do (aside from some obvious actions, perhaps), but it must be a great gift, indeed.
Thinking of you all, much love, Bernard
March 5th, 2010 at 7:34 am
Bernard…much distraction happening for me in the dream lately or I would have been here for you to echo resoundingly my wishes of peace for you and Pat concerning Pumpkin. Please know that I am hoping for your reunion.
Hugs!
LTS
March 5th, 2010 at 7:46 am
March 5th, 2010 at 7:50 am
Pumpkin says: Dreamy, if I weren’t a guy-cat, I would think you are surely the sexiest feline I’ve every seen! Hugs, Bro!
March 5th, 2010 at 8:16 am
Great Bernard! I think we all sent everything we had to the situation. I even threw in some Reiki magic. So happy for all of you.
March 5th, 2010 at 8:29 am
OOHHH I LOVE THESE KITTY LESSONS!
As always the party is in the Grotto!
Whisper 303 gets whisker of the day, month, maybe even year :%
The Dream Team is awesome!
March 5th, 2010 at 10:26 am
LaAnnie, I love the new version of the “Dream Team”. Made me smile instantly.
March 5th, 2010 at 10:41 am
That’s all Jesus has been wanting us to do…. smile:) So clever of the Holy Spirit to use those beautiful feline friends. When I look at Pumpkin and Dreamy’s eyes there is such confidence…an unwavering knowing. I would love for my eyes to reflect that.
It does feel good to be under the guardianship of the The Dream Team. Smiling right backatcha Linda!
March 5th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
{{Laura the Toddler Student}} Sending quiet love and hugs amidst all your distractions… Love, Mother xoxox
March 5th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Yay!!!
Bernard, I know the whole separation issue came up strong during this which is always looming, but you did intuit that something was wrong with Pumpkin and that did turn out to be true. That part seems to be important somehow…does that make sense to you?
March 5th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
I just have to comment how handsome Dreamy has grown. And the expression of knowingness. Just want to squeeze him.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Thank you, Mother, for your heartfelt hugs and the love that comes with them. Laugh
with me (because it feels so good and fun to laugh with you) at the silly doodles of my dream. Let’s look at them with The Smiley Face! Profound question: Is there a smiley face with a cigar? If so, you are it!!!!
Hugs and love Back!
LTS
March 5th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Yes, LTS I believe you may just be right about me… a smiley face with a cigar!!! Doodling with you while looking with this smiley face… Love you lots back, Mother xoxox
March 5th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Oh MY God!! Where do you all find these pictures. I can’t stop laughing.:D