We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 39: Q&A numbers 115-117

Q #115: I am 50 and going through menopause. There are physical changes going on, especially with my brain chemistry. My emotions are more intense than ever. I have been a student of A Course in Miracles for several years and had felt as if I had reached a certain level of peace and understanding, but now I find myself feeling a victim of my body and more insane than ever. Is this just another level of “development of trust,” and is even menopause about guilt?

A: The answer to your question lies in understanding the body and the role it plays in the ego thought system. Although we are told repeatedly in the Workbook: “I am not a body” (W.pI.84.1:4), the fact remains we do believe we are bodies, and we have conditions like menopause to prove it. Obviously the ego is the author of this belief. It tells us we somehow ended up in these bodies through no fault of our own, and now we are doomed to fall victim to all its ailments, until in the end we decay, die, and decompose. This message from the ego is purposeful. Its plan is to convince us that the body is real, and the mind is the illusion: “The ego uses the body to conspire against your mind.…The ego, which is not real, attempts to persuade the mind, which is real, that the mind is the ego’s learning device; and further, that the body is more real than the mind is” (T.6.IV.5:1,2,3). The ego has first used the body to house the guilt for having separated from God. Guilt is therefore built into all aspects of the body’s functioning, including menopause. The body is then programmed to provide endless needs, as well as physical, emotional, and psychological conditions that very effectively serve as distractions, and convincing proof of its reality. The inevitable outcome is that we feel victimized and even attacked by the body. This insanity characterizes our relationship with the body, but only when we have chosen to identify with it, seeking to keep ourselves separate, believing all the ego’s lies about who we are. Having made some progress in experiencing peace, it is understandable that the ego would find in menopause a great opportunity to strike again. This is nothing to be concerned with, and definitely nothing to feel guilty about. It is important to remember, however, that it is not helpful to deny any of the distressing symptoms of menopause, and it is certainly appropriate to seek professional medial treatment and support in any way that is helpful. In the process of learning to seek healing in our minds there is the comforting thought that menopause will end, and a beautiful passage in The Song of Prayer that applies especially for women in menopause: “The universe is waiting your release because it is its own. Be kind to it and to yourself, and then be kind to Me. I ask but this; that you be comforted and live no more in terror and in pain. Do not abandon Love. Remember this; whatever you may think about yourself, whatever you may think about the world, your Father needs you and will call to you until you come to Him in peace at last” (S.3.IV.10:3,4,5,6,7).

The Course offers an alternative to the ego’s use of the body, and an alternative to our definition of ourselves. This is where the “development of trust” enters the picture. You can see clearly the tricks the ego is up to, and make a decision to look at menopause differently, believing that what the Course is teaching is in fact true and worthy of trust. All of the symptoms related to menopause can be used as an opportunity to question the ego’s interpretation of this, or any bodily condition. We turn to the mind for true healing in the process of dealing with menopause, monitoring all the thoughts you mention and any others that arise, so they can be given to the Holy Spirit for reinterpretation: “The Holy Spirit, as always, takes what you have made and translates it into a learning device. Again as always, He reinterprets what the ego uses as an argument for separation into a demonstration against it. If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be stronger than the body. Every miracle demonstrates this” (T.6.V.A.2:4,5,6,7).

Q #116: I am somewhat at odds with the whole idea of God intervening in the world of form. I know that the Foundation’s view is that since the world of form is an illusion, it is inconceivable that He could be involved in making changes and alterations in a world of form. I also know it is all about changing our thoughts about the world to bring us closer to waking. But in lesson 71 “Only God’s plan for salvation will work” it actually has the separated mind ask God, “What would you have me do? Where would you have me go? What would you have me say, and to whom?” Isn’t this asking God what direction you should take in the world of form? I also know that when I relinquish my ego thought and ask God to direct my thoughts then my world of form DOES change. Also how does A Course in Miracles reconcile Jesus being immaculately conceived? Wouldn’t that be considered intervention into the illusion?

A: As discussed elsewhere in these Questions, it is important to recognize that much of the Course is written in metaphorical language, reaching us where we believe we are (e.g., see Question 72). And so God is described throughout the Course in ways that suggest He is concerned about us here in the world, only to provide a correction for our ego belief that God is an angry Father intent on our destruction. And so, rather than as our enemy, the Course is trying to help us view God as our Friend, Who will help us do what we need to do. In addition, it is very common in the Workbook lessons that God is used when the real meaning is God’s Voice, or the Holy Spirit.

As always, the larger context of the Course and, in this case, the lesson itself make the deeper intent of lines such as those you quote clearer. This lesson first describes the ego’s plan for salvation — holding grievances against others so that the guilt in our mind seems to rest on them rather than on ourselves — the blame game (W.pI.71.2). Clearly, this “solution” is the problem, because it in fact keeps the guilt alive in our minds rather than undoing it. And so God’s (that is, the Holy Spirit’s) plan, although not described specifically in this lesson, will have to involve being willing to release those grievances. Since our anger and judgments are triggered by our interactions with others, the direction to ask God for specific help that you refer to really means that we do not continue to act — doing, going, speaking, etc. — on our own, that is, with the ego’s guidance. If we can carry the memory of God’s Love with us as we move through our day, we can be sure that we will be just where we need to be to learn the lessons of forgiveness that will bring us the peace we seek.

Now when we release ourselves from the ego’s dictates and open ourselves up to the guidance of God’s Voice, we may experience shifts in our external world, as you mention, although this may not always be the case. These changes occur not because God or the Holy Spirit has literally intervened but rather because we have been willing to make inner choices (often unconscious), aligned with love rather than hate. External projections of our guilt may then very well change, although this is never the purpose, from the Course’s perspective, for changing our teacher. That becomes a trap, rooting our focus back in the world as we look for external changes to validate our inner shift.

Virgin births and immaculate conceptions do suggest divine interventions in the world of form, but the Jesus of the Course never makes any of these claims about himself. The Bible and traditional Christianity represent a very different spiritual path from the Course and it is best not to confuse the two or try to integrate them in any way.

Q #117: A Course in Miracles states that sickness is anger taken out on the body. What would cause a baby to become sick? For that matter, do animals have egos when they also become sick? Or is this all part of the dream which the ego has us waste our time trying to figure out?

A: A baby or an animal can become sick for the same reason that an adult human becomes sick. We think there should be a difference because we confuse the brain with the mind. Clearly, there are differences between the brain of a baby and the brain of an adult, or the brain of an animal and the brain of a human. But, despite what we all believe about the power and nature of the brain to control the body and behavior, Jesus tells us we are mistaken: “You…believe the body’s brain can think. If you but understood the nature of thought, you could but laugh at this insane idea. It is as if you thought you held the match that lights the sun and gives it all its warmth; or that you held the world within your hand, securely bound until you let it go. Yet this is no more foolish than to believe…the brain can think” (W.pI.92.2).

It is not the brain but the mind, outside of time and space, that makes all decisions that seem to affect the body. And since the seemingly separate minds that are dreaming all the figures in the dream are really nothing more than fragments of the one split mind that is the source of all mistaken thought (T.18.I.3,4,5), their structure and content (sin, guilt and fear) are all the same. So it is the mind, not the brain, that experiences guilt and anger and fear and looks for defenses against those thoughts and feelings. And the sickness of the mind — the thought of separation — is projected out onto the body, whether it be the body of an infant, an adult or an animal, so that it appears that something is happening to the body for which that individual is not responsible.

Now just as the decision for sickness is made in the mind, so too is the decision for healing, which then may be reflected in the disappearance of symptoms and recovery from illness in the body of the infant, the adult or the animal. For every fragmented split mind contains not only the ego but also the correction for the ego, which the Course calls the Holy Spirit.

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Bonnie performs Cavatina (since this is her first accompaniment since our wedding and that was our wedding song).
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We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 38: Q&A numbers 112-114

Q #112: I have recently experienced the loss of my second of two beloved pets. I found myself trying to use A Course in Miracles to “save” him prior to his death. I did not want to give him up and I became very angry when nothing I tried worked. In particular, I was reading lesson 320 in the workbook: “My Father gives all power unto me.” I understand that maybe I am confusing levels, but I wonder if someone can explain this to me to add more understanding of where my error lies. How can I use the Course to walk through this process of grief? The pain is so intense; I do not know how to ask for help.

A: It is quite understandable, in your desire to keep your beloved pet in your life, that you would try to use all means you see available to save him. And unless you read Lesson 320 in the context of the whole Course, it is very easy to see it as telling you that you should have the power, among other things, to save your pet’s life. But that is not what this lesson means. As with so many other words in A Course in Miracles, power has a specific meaning that is different from how we think of power from our ego-based perspective. To the ego, power refers to the capacity to change and control things in the world. But since the world, from Jesus’ perspective if not yet ours, is illusory, then this is no real power at all.

The Course says there are really only two kinds of power: the power to create and the power to choose or decide. The power to create, which involves simply the extension of the love that is our only reality, was given to us by God in our creation and remains within our mind even though we have covered it over and forgotten it. But this power functions only in the realm of spirit and has nothing to do with the ego world of bodies and form that we think is our reality.

When we seemed to turn our back on the power of creation out of our desire to be separate, the power we made for ourselves in its place was the power of decision (T.14.VI.5:6) — the power to turn away from the love of God and choose the ego in all its many expressions as our teacher and guide. But once we have made this power of decision real for ourselves, Jesus tells us we can give it another purpose (T.14.VI.5:6.7) — we can learn to choose the Holy Spirit instead of the ego as our Teacher and Guide, helping us to awaken from the nightmare dream of death and loss and grief that we have made our reality. For once we believe we are trapped within the world, the power to choose how we look at what we’ve made is the only real power available to us (T.12.VII.9:1.2). All the so-called powers of the world simply keep us rooted in the illusion, continuously reinforcing our belief in limits and loss, reflecting our choice for the ego and all its ramifications.

So when Lesson 320 says, “Your [God’s] Will can do all things in me, and then extend to all the world as well through me” (W.pII.320.2:1), it means that when we choose the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, all the guilt that we experience as a result of our choice for separation can be undone through forgiveness. That forgiveness can then extend through us to other minds that also believe they are trapped in a body in the world. In the context of your beloved pets, this would mean that you would first recognize your own choice to make suffering and death real, and would then bring those thoughts and the guilt that accompanies them to the Holy Spirit for release. And in that moment when you allow your own mind to be healed, the peace within you will extend to those around you, including your little friends who may still be experiencing pain and fear in their own minds. And you will know in that moment that separation is not real and no one and nothing, including death, can deprive you of love.

For a further consideration of how the Course looks at death and grief, you may also wish to look at Question #15, from November 13th, 2002. The important thing is to allow yourself to be gentle with the process of grieving.

Q #113: I seem to have this recurring problem of never making enough money or never getting enough work for my business, especially during these periods of recession, although I am a highly-educated professional. Although over the years of practicing the process of forgive­ness on this, I now have more and more peace when this problem occurs, I still get irritated and wish that I could get rid of this problem altogether and not have it occur again. From the perspective of A Course in Miracles, is there anything I else I can do to “cure” this issue? Will looking at the guilt or the origins of the guilt help in any way? What do you suggest?

A. We can only comment in general about the type of situation you have described, but it may be of help nonetheless. First, the purpose of the world is to be a place where we have an endless num­ber of problems to solve. It is a smokescreen designed to hide the real problem, which is the decision we are constantly making in our minds to live separately, apart from God, as individuals, and to hold others responsible for our condition. Whether we are plagued by one recurring problem or by a multitude of problems does not matter. Problems come up in our lives because we need them to be there — obviously, on an unconscious level. Therefore, if we are unaware of the real source of our problems (the decision in our minds) it would be fruitless to hope for a problem-free life; we would just be fighting against ourselves. Moreover, part of the ego’s strategy is to have us keep hoping that our problems can be solved, and that the day will come when we can live problem-free in the world. The objective of this strategy is to keep us focused on our lives in the world, because that ensures that we will never remember that we are really minds intent on keeping ourselves apart from the oneness in which we were created as Christ, and that that is just a silly, mistaken thought which we can choose against at any instant.

Second, the Course’s very gentle — and practical — approach to a situation such as the one you de­scribed, is to have us learn that the peace of God is within us and can never be affected by anything that appears to be going on in our lives. Being in a state of peace is always a matter of choice. No matter what the circumstances of our life may be, we can still choose to be peaceful. Jesus asks us to take him as our model in this. In the midst of circumstances seemingly far more traumatic, he said that he did not see himself as persecuted, and so he is saying to us that we can learn how to function that way, too (T.6.I.5,6). In a sense, you are saying that you are a victim of this recurring situation in your life, and we all have situations like this in some form or other. So the first thing we can learn is how to “disconnect,” we might say, our inner state from external situations. Not easy, but that is an essential part of the mind-training aspect of the Course. It is a major step in the process of recovering the power of our minds, which the ego would never want us to do.

Third, when what appear to be negative situations keep recurring, it often is the case that the person is projecting his unconscious guilt onto his personal life — many times it is projected onto the body, resulting in illness — in an attempt to punish himself and ward off punishment by God, which is regarded as deserved and inevitable. Recurring failure or unhappiness often reflects the uncon­scious belief that if I am unsuccessful or unhappy, God will have pity on me and will go easy on me when it is my turn to stand before Him and give an accounting of my life. So if there is such a belief lodged in our minds, then we need there to be situations in our lives that will ensure that we are unsuccessful and unhappy. To fight against it would be self-defeating. The solution is obvious. As the workbook lessons constantly remind us, we need to go within and uncover the ego thoughts of sin, guilt, and fear that are directing everything we do and think as individuals and bring that darkness to the light.

The goal of this process, though, is not to be free of problems in our lives, but to learn that it is the guilt we do not want, because the pain and turmoil from our external problems is nothing compared to the internal pain and bondage of our guilt. We do not have to try to change anything; we need only look with Jesus’ love next to us at how we constantly attribute our unhappiness and failure to something other than our own decision, and then not judge ourselves for doing that. That is a giant step in the direction of finally restoring to our minds one day the peace of God that is our true in­heritance. When we are immersed in that peace and know it to be our shared identity, then it would make absolutely no difference whether our business is successful or not, just as it made no differ­ence to Jesus whether there were nails in his hands and feet or not. Sometimes the external situation changes when we change our minds, but that no longer would matter to us, because our perception of ourselves and the world would have changed entirely.

Q #114: There are two questions I have relating to true empathy and false empathy. I think I understand how A Course in Miracles is defining the difference between the two, but what I don’t understand is how can you be loving, compassionate and kind to your brother without falling into the trap of the ego? The second question is, when your brother is sick or has lost his job or a loved one, as I am understanding, is Jesus telling us to “Do Nothing”? This is difficult for me. If I say or do anything I am joining with the ego. How do I look at this differently?

A. True empathy comes from your right mind, which means you have joined with Jesus or the Holy Spirit. In that instant, you are beyond your ego, and therefore everything you do will be loving. You cannot fall into the trap of the ego when you are one with the love of Jesus in a holy instant, because that joining is a decision against the ego — the two states are mutually exclusive. Of course most of the time we jump right back into our wrong minds and into the ego trap of making the error real.

When Jesus tells us we need do nothing, he means that we should do nothing on our own. He is not advocating passivity. He is teaching us that if we do not ask his help, or the help of the Holy Spirit, we almost certainly will fall into the ego trap. Then, in our wrong minds, our perception will be that the other person truly is an unfortunate victim, and that the kind and caring thing to do is to extend a helping hand to fix the problem and make him feel better. In that perception we have to­tally lost sight of the truth about our brother and about ourselves as well. We have fallen into the ego trap of making our brother mindless, which means we no longer see him or ourselves as minds that have chosen to reject our true Identity as Christ, and then project responsibility for that choice. Wrong-minded perception always sees victims and victimizers, not minds with the power of choice to reverse mistaken decisions and accept back into awareness the love that had been pushed away. If I am perceiving you that way, I cannot be truly helpful, even if I do fix the external situation and make you feel better. I have actually attacked you and myself, because the message I am giving is that I have something you do not have, and you are helpless. I have seen us as separate and have empathized with your weakness, thus confirming the ego’s view of you, not Jesus’ view of you.

The correction of this faulty perception comes through asking for help to see through Jesus’ eyes, or to share perception with the Holy Spirit. We bring our perception of victimization to Jesus or the Holy Spirit, because if I see you as a victim, then I am the one in need of healing. My percep­tion needs to be corrected before I can be of help. Now we are not talking about what my physical eyes see. Objectively it may be the case that you have lost your job or a loved one; but to then conclude that you are a victim is an interpretation. That is where I make my mistake. Once I perceive you as a victim, I am implying that there is a victimizer, and that you are not responsible for your condition. That is the ego trap I have fallen into. When I first became aware that I was seeing you as a victim, I should have stopped right there and asked for help to look at the situation differently, to ask for help to empathize with the strength of Christ in you, rather than the weakness of the ego in you. If I make that shift from my wrong mind to my right mind, then I would automatically be guided to do whatever is most loving in the circumstances. That may be to do something or to do nothing, to say something or to say nothing. Whatever is most helpful would happen automatically, with no deliberation, and with no investment in the outcome.

We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 37: Q&A numbers 109-111

Q #109: My question is about the mind. My understanding is that we are spirit, mind, and body, and that the body is not real, and is a product of the mind. Mind, as I understand it, has the function to create and to let our spirit (or soul) come to know itself experientially, which is the ultimate goal of all spiritual development. The mind mediates experience between the body and the soul, but it has become confused because of our experiences living in the world, and so it must learn to remember who it is — which is the Atonement — by being re-educated. In that way, the soul, having experienced itself in the physical realm, mediated by the mind, can reunite with God and integrate back the experiential knowledge of what it means to be perfect. But if this is the case, why is the mind needed at all? Why can’t the soul control the body in order to gain all the experience it needs, bypassing any need for the mind?

A: Your question suggests that you are attempting to blend some of the teachings of the Course with teachings from other spiritual paths with which the Course is not really compatible. So, to clarify, we will look at what the Course says, in light of your question, including a consideration of how it uses its terms, different from other paths, and what it says about the purpose of the mind and the body.

The Course sees only spirit, or soul, as real (preferring to use the term “spirit” rather than “soul”) (C.1.3). Mind has several different levels of meaning in the Course (for a more in depth discussion of mind, you may wish to look at Question #65). Mind, when it is capitalized, refers to either God or Christ, His One Son (C.1.1:2), and in this sense is really equivalent to spirit. When lower case, mind refers to the split mind of the Son (C.1.2:1,2,3) after he has seemingly fallen asleep and is dreaming a dream of separation, believing that he has split off or separated from God, thereby attacking Him. This mind is illusory and has no reality outside of our mistaken belief in it, and it is the birthplace of sin, guilt and fear.

As a defense against this made-up guilt and fear in the mind over the attack upon God, the split mind under the guidance of the ego then makes up a body to hide in and a world outside of itself onto which all the attack and guilt in the mind can be displaced. Again, none of this is real, according to the Course. But we believe in it because we want the separation to be real but we do not want to be responsible for it.

The Course sees no positive or Divine purpose in the thought of separation that has led to the split mind and its defense, the body and the world. And so any experience that comes from them has no value in itself. The Course does make further distinctions within the split mind and it is through an understanding of these that we can see how the body and our experiences in the world can come to serve a useful purpose. But the purpose again is not to do anything positive but rather to undo the negative by allowing all of our errors or mistaken beliefs about ourselves to be corrected. The Course calls this process forgiveness.

The split mind is home not only to the ego, the wrong-minded aspect of the post-separation self, but also to the Holy Spirit, who remembers our reality as God’s One, true Son, and so is able to correct all of our mistaken beliefs about who we are and what the world is (C.1.5,6). Basically, He reminds us that the separation never happened and that we never attacked God — which is what the Course means by the Atonement principle (M.2.2:2,3). And so, as the seemingly separated Son, we have a choice as to whether we are going to listen to the harsh and strident lies of the ego, which can only take us deeper into the morass of sin and guilt, or to the gentle corrections of the Holy Spirit. His corrections allow us to undo our mistaken beliefs about who we are and return to the Home we never left.

For this process of undoing to happen, we have to pay attention to our experiences as a body in the world, becoming aware of what interpretations we are giving to those experiences — usually some variation on seeing ourselves as victims and others as victimizers so that the guilt resides outside ourselves. And so it is in this sense that the Course would say that our experiences are of value. For we can then bring these mistaken thoughts to the Holy Spirit for correction. The only real purpose for the world and our body then is to teach us that they are not what we have believed them to be. When we let go of those false beliefs, we then remember Who we really are as the Christ, whose reality as spirit has never changed at all, being as changelessly perfect as our Source. At that point, the body, the world, and the split mind have simply disappeared, as darkness disappears when light shines upon it, for they have no reality.

Q #110: It was in this site that I read about “Jesus” saying or teaching this or that in the A Course in Miracles for the first time. Is his name mentioned in the Course at any point and if not, how did you start using his name that otherwise would be “the Christic voice,” “the Christ,” or something like that?

A: Jesus is mentioned in the Course; in the Manual for Teachers (M.23) and the Clarification of Terms (C.5). These more lengthy passages may completely answer your question. Also, in the Text there are several first person passages (notably T.1.II.3,4) which refer to Jesus, although his name is not mentioned. Helen Schucman knew the inner voice she heard was that of Jesus, just as we know the voice of a family member on the phone without asking: “Helen incidentally was well aware…that the Voice belonged to Jesus…” (Absence from Felicity, Kenneth Wapnick, p. 179).

It is important to remember, however, that in the dream Jesus is a symbol for one who has fully identified with the Christ, and that this identity is not exclusive to Jesus. On the other hand, the term Christ, as used in the Course, refers to the “totality of the Sonship” as defined in the Glossary-Index for A Course in Miracles by Kenneth Wapnick. Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity, remains at one with the Father in Heaven, and is not present in the dream. It would, therefore, not be appropriate to refer to Christ as the messenger or “voice” of the Course.

Belief that Jesus is the voice who speaks in A Course in Miracles is not necessary to our work with it. Nor is it necessary to develop a relationship with him, but it is helpful. As a symbol in our dream, Jesus is with us to teach us to do as he did in accepting the Atonement: “Jesus has led the way…This course has come from him because his words have reached you in a language you can love and understand. Are other teachers possible, to lead the way to those who speak in different tongues and appeal to different symbols? Certainly there are. Would God leave anyone without a very present help in time of trouble; a savior who can symbolize Himself?…Jesus has come to answer yours. In him you find God’s Answer. Do you, then, teach with him, for he is with you; he is always here” (M.23.5:1,6:1,2,3,4,6,7,8). The Course is a very loving message that comes to us from the memory of God’s love reflected in the mind symbolized in the “person” of Jesus. The form this love takes is not important, it is only important that we hear the message and accept the love. Hearing Jesus speak the words of the Course to you as you study is a very helpful way, not only to relate to Jesus, but to accept the love the Course reflects.

Q #111: Would you please clarify a question about the world being an illusion? Is the physical world we see with our eyes an illusion, or is the way we interpret the world we see an illusion, or both?

A: The entire physical universe is an illusion, not just our interpretations. This is the absolute non- dualism of the Course’s metaphysics. The Course is clear that what is real is changeless, without limit, formless, perfect, and eternal. Therefore anything that changes, that is limited, that has form, that is not perfect, and that is temporal cannot be real. Some passages to look at are the following, although there are many, many others that speak of non-dualism:

1) Lesson 132: “There is no world! This is the central thought the course attempts to teach” (W.pI.132.6:2; as well as other parts of the lesson).

2) “True Perception — Knowledge”: In this section in the clarification of terms, Jesus uses the phrase “the world you see”; but what follows makes it quite clear that he is referring not to our interpretations, but to the entire physical world that our eyes look upon. “The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever. Some things will last in time a little while longer than others. But the time will come when all things visible will have an end” (C.4.1).

3) “Forgiveness and the End of Time” (T.29.VI). This entire section describes anything of time and change as unreal.

4) “Time and space are but one illusion” (T.26.VIII.1:3).

We hope this sampling of references will help to clarify the confusion and will make reading A Course in Miracles a little easier.

We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 36: Q&A numbers 106-108

Q #106: Over the past five years I have been studying A Course in Miracles in unison with my study of the ethics of Nonviolence as taught by Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Cesar Chavez. I had at one time considered the two philosophies — A Course in Miracles and Nonviolence — to be almost identical in aim (this appraisal of mine was aided by the fact that even some authors have mentioned the similarities of the philosophies). Both paths teach that everyone is connected, that we are not victims, and that we should be gentle with one another. But lately I am considering that the two paths may be quite different in emphasis.

A: If we focus on the religious or spiritual foundation of Mahatma Gandhi’s ideas on nonviolence, based on some of the highest teachings of Hinduism, there are many striking parallels with the teachings of A Course in Miracles. Ideas shared in common, for example, include viewing the world as an illusion or a dream, seeing the nature of reality as one so that separation and separate interests are not real, and focusing on internal decision-making about one’s intention rather than on external outcome.

But these religious underpinnings of Gandhi’s ideas on nonviolence are generally not the focus of most studies of his contributions to the field. And Martin Luther King and Cesar Chavez grounded their philosophy and practice of nonviolence in a more traditional Christian perspective that views the world and its inhabitants as created by God, a significantly different assumption from the Course’s basic premise that “the world was made as an attack on God” (W.pII.3.2:1). With this premise, we see the Course departing significantly as well from the Hindu teachings guiding Gandhi.

The study and practice of nonviolence, as a philosophy for action and for political and economic change, often then becomes concerned with outcome in the world. The Course, in contrast, encourages us to choose to change our mind about the world rather than seeking to change the world itself (T.21.in.1:7). If we look at gentleness and defenselessness, two of what the Course identifies in the manual as characteristics of an advanced teacher of God, they certainly share something in common with what is meant by nonviolence. But a careful reading of the Course’s discussion of both traits (M.4.IV,VI) makes it apparent that the emphasis is on thought or state of mind and not behavior, and the only outcome of concern is in the mind — there is no investment in the outcome in the world. Changes may or may not follow in the world, but they are irrelevant to the goal of inner peace, which can be attained irrespective of external circumstances.

So, as you remark in your question, there is simply a different emphasis with the Course and with nonviolence. That is not to say that one is any better than the other, for in fact the spirituality from which they both spring is quite similar. But the Course is not concerned with how we act in the world. Nevertheless, when we act in the world, guided by the principles of A Course in Miracles, our actions may be very similar to the actions of those guided by nonviolent principles. It is the emphasis that is different.

Q #107: I have a question regarding the idea: “It is impossible that anything be lost, if what you have is what you are? “(T.26.VII.11:4) This statement is in the context of describing our true Identity. Is this also true of our experiences as an ego? My work environment brings out a lot of my guilt, either projecting onto others or internalizing it. I can think of many times when an idea I have is challenged and I become very offended, hurt, angry, etc. It seems I have become that idea, that it represents me. So, is this the same idea, meaning, what I have is my decision to choose the ego so that is what I am? I become or reflect what I choose? Therefore, if I could step back and look with Jesus at these work situations and choose vision then I would become that vision? Is that right?

A. Yes, you are on the right track with this. Each step in our descent from the state of oneness entailed a choice, then becoming what we chose, but denying that we chose it. The goal right from the beginning was to acquire and maintain our individuality but not to take responsibility for it. Therefore the prevailing experience of human existence is victimization, which reinforces the internal belief, “I am not responsible.” Considering only our ego-identification, not our right minds, our lives here cannot be anything other than one experience after another of feeling offended, angry, resentful, fearful, shameful, etc., because the world is nothing but our thoughts of sin, guilt, and fear projected outward, “the outside picture of an inward condition” (T.21.in.1:5). We need to take things personally, otherwise we cannot hold others responsible for our condition. We have become the thought system of the ego, in other words; and so learning forgiveness would be initially perceived as tremendously threatening. That is why what the Course calls forgiveness-to-destroy is the commonly accepted version of forgiveness in the world. Sin has been made real and there is still a separation between the forgiver and the forgiven, directly antithetical to what the Course teaches.

The lessons in the workbook emphasize over and over the importance of stepping back and looking with Jesus at what we are doing and thinking. We need the help of a teacher who is outside the thought system with which we have identified so thoroughly, otherwise we would have no way of getting beyond it. So you are quite correct in concluding that looking with Jesus, and choosing against the ego would automatically give you the same vision as Jesus. The key is remembering that we always have a choice; the ego’s efforts are directed towards keeping us mindless. Who we truly are, God’s one Son, has never changed, and has never been affected by the dream of separation. We need only deny our denial of that truth (T.12.II.1:5), and then what we have made invisible will once again, through our joining with Jesus or the Holy Spirit, be all that we see (T.12.VIII.3). In the words of a lovely prayer, “I have nothing, I want nothing, I am nothing but the love of Jesus.”

Q #108: As I continue to study A Course in Miracles, I am beginning to understand that the emotion that is commonly called “love” in this world is not at all the same as the “love” referred to in the Course. In fact, I have discovered that in many cases, my ego uses the idea of “love” to cover up a lot of very dysfunctional thinking and behavior. What is the relationship between love as we understand it in the world, and love as expressed in the Course, and how can we use that to guide our lives?

A: The distinction you make between the “love” the Course is referring to and what is called “love” in this world is correct. They are not the same thing. The love of this world is always what the Course calls “special love,” and it is the foundation of the “special relationship.” It not only has properties that are in direct opposition to the love the Course refers to, it is actually a mask for hatred: “It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego’s hatred triumphs. For the special relationship is the renunciation of the Love of God, and the attempt to secure for the self the specialness that He denied” (T.16.V.4:1,2). We are secretly saying to anyone or anything we have a special love relationship with: “God did not love me with the specialness I want, so I will use you to get the special love I think I cannot live without.” What we call “love,” therefore, is our substitute for God’s love. Furthermore, the Course tells us it is hate: “…any brother with whom you have a limited relationship, you hate” (T.21.III1:3). This “hate” is based on the misperception that we are different, incomplete, and needy. In the special love relationship an agreement is made for mutual needs to be met, and thus we seek to fill the void left by our seeming separation from God. And, true to the ego’s mandate “seek but do not find” (T.16.V.6:5), this substitute for God’s love will never satisfy our need, no matter how we try to make it work. Even the most fulfilling “love” relationship will eventually end in death.

What the Course is inviting us to do is to look at our special love relationships from this new perspective, as shocking as it may seem to be, so that we will become willing to open ourselves to a new purpose, and a new interpretation: “A holy relationship starts from a different premise. Each one has looked within and seen no lack. Accepting his completion, he would extend it by joining with another, whole as himself. He sees no difference between these selves, for differences are only of the body. Therefore, he looks on nothing he would take. He denies not his own reality because it is the truth”(T.22.in.3:1,2,3,4,5,6).

The important thing to remember is that it is normal, not sinful, to have special relationships, and they will not be taken away. In fact, they can be useful in our lives if we give them to the Holy Spirit to be transformed into holy relationships: “I have said repeatedly that the Holy Spirit would not deprive you of your special relationships, but would transform them” (T.17.IV.2:3). In this way, the love we experience with another person becomes a reflection of the love of God in the dream, not a substitute for it.

We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 35: Q&A numbers 103-105

Q #103: What does Jesus mean when He refers to our “creations”?

A: Our creations exist only on the level of spirit. They are not things or beings, and are not part of the illusory world of form. The term is used in the Course to refer to the love that is present in the mind of the Sonship. Our creations are the loving thoughts in the Christ Mind. The term is used as a symbol to help us understand that in truth we are the Father’s creation, and like Him we “create” by the Thoughts of love that extend throughout the Sonship and return to the Father. They are “the extensions of our spirit…as extensions of Christ, our creations are part of the Second Person of the Trinity; creation is ongoing in Heaven, beyond time and space, and independent of the son’s lack of awareness of it in the world” (Glossary-Index for A Course in Miracles, Kenneth Wapnick). When we fully let go of our ego identity, and accept who we really are as God created us, we will know and accept our creations. This occurs outside of the dream, where we are at home in God. That is where we find our creations. The Course uses this beautiful image to encourage us to seek our truth; “Heaven waits silently, and your creations are holding out their hands to help you cross and welcome them. For it is they you seek. You seek but for your own completion, and it is they who render you complete…Acceptance of your creations is the acceptance of the Oneness of creation, without which you could never be complete” (T.16.IV.8:1,2,3,6).

Q #104: A question about “to forgive” or “to give over.” I am studying A Course in Miracles in German, my native tongue, but am also using the English version as a cross reference. An identical semantic problem arises in both German and English. In the Text I found three places where Jesus is using “to give over” instead of “to forgive.” They are T.3.VI.9.1; T.13.VII.6.6 and T.15.IV.4.2.

I have been studying the Course for nearly 10 years and always had a difficulty with “to forgive” because the dictionary definition for it is “to give up,” while “to give over” seems much more to the point particularly when we come to the place where Jesus is asking us to forgive him. This is something I can only understand in the sense that we should give over to him our critical thoughts we have about him. Could you please explain why “to give over” is hardly ever used, and “to forgive” so frequently?

A: It is always helpful to remember that the Course has come as a correction — first as a correction for our ego, but then also as a correction for some of the ego’s specific expressions, including its distortion within traditional Christianity of Jesus’ original message of love and forgiveness. So the Course uses the words of traditional Christianity, such as crucifixion and resurrection, Atonement, miracle and forgiveness, but gives them a different meaning. This reflects the Course’s basic approach to all of our special relationships — keeping the same form but providing it a different content, as a reminder that the problem is not the form (in this case, the word) but the ego content we have given it. It is our ego that always focuses on form so that we overlook the content.

So it is important to develop an understanding of how Jesus is using these concepts in the Course and not rely on our prior understanding of their meaning or dictionary definitions, which will reflect the meaning our egos have given those terms. In the case of forgiveness, the ego has told us that to forgive means to give up our need to right the wrongs of others through punishing them or extracting some kind of payment from them, all the time holding on to the reality of their transgressions, or sins. Contrast this with the Course’s use of the term: “Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin, except a false idea about God’s Son. Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go” (W.pII.1.1:6; italics added).

In the Course’s use of the word, we are not really talking about anyone else when we are speaking of forgiveness. We are speaking of releasing ourselves from the very same judgments that we had projected on to our brothers, including Jesus, believing that we had relieved ourselves of that burden of guilt by placing it on them. The Course teaches us that blame can not be gotten rid of by seeing it elsewhere (T.11.IV.5:3). It must be undone at its source, in our own mind. And that involves simply a letting go, a releasing, a giving over, or a giving up, to the light of forgiveness, in which the unreality of sin and guilt becomes apparent.

Q #105: What is the best method to study A Course in Miracles? In my experience, study groups bear little resemblance in content to what is expressed by the Foundation, so I do the work alone. Should the text be read first, before beginning the workbook, or hand in hand? If I begin the workbook and miss several days or weeks, do I need to begin again or pick up where I left off? Does it matter? I would prefer to work with other people, but most of them I’ve spoken to aren’t even aware of the non-dualistic nature of the Course. I find when I try to explain that aspect, generally people are not willing to hear it and try to convince me that I have it wrong. Also I’ve heard people say they like the Course because they can combine it easily with their other spiritual practice – - I find it nearly impossible to do that and have moved away from spiritual teachings I used to hold dear. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m the one who is confused. Please advise.

A. (1) In keeping with the actual theory of the Course, there actually is no best method for studying it. It in essence is a curriculum undertaken by the student under the guidance of the Holy Spirit or Jesus. The “training is always highly individualized” (M.9.1:5). Jesus advises us to study the text very carefully and not proceed too quickly lest we plunge unnecessarily into overwhelming fear (T.I.VII.4,5), and he also explains that the “theoretical foundation.…the text provides is necessary as a framework to make the exercises in this workbook meaningful” (W.in.1:1), so he clearly expects his students to spend time with the text at some point in their process. But he does not say which should be done first. So if you are comfortable studying the text while you are doing the lessons, that is what you should do.

He also tells us not to do more than one workbook lesson a day (W.in.1:6). The middle of Lesson 95 might be helpful in answering your question about what to do if you miss several days or weeks in your practice of the lessons. The instruction there focuses on recognizing the ways in which the ego creeps into the process, and that we ought to respond to “our lapses in diligence, and our failures to follow the instructions for practicing the day’s idea” with forgiveness (W.pI.95.8:3). That is the key. Jesus does not keep track of how punctual we are in following he instructions for the day; his interest is only in helping us train our minds to think more and more in terms of forgiveness. It makes the most sense, though, to pick up where you left off, rather than begin all over again.

(2) The Course says nothing about groups. Some people find it helpful to study with others; some do not. It depends entirely on the preference of the individual. In our experience, it is more common than uncommon that people find the uncompromising nature of the Course’s non-dualism intolerable and fear provoking, which then causes them to dilute its message to make it say something that it does not, or to mix it with other systems, thereby doing justice to neither. One of the Course’s strengths is the manner in which it integrates a metaphysics of non-dualism with living in the world. This is quite a challenge, but the Course gives us all the support we need in our journey back to our home in Heaven, the state of perfect Oneness.

We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 34: Q&A numbers 100-102

Q #100: I wonder about the passage T.27.VIII.6:2. I know my ego is quite resourceful and finds ways to delay progress, which is why I have grown to walk over this passage. Now, with all my basic human understanding, the only way to remember not to laugh is that at one time, for some reason, prior to this event, we had also not laughed; for it is not possible for a mind to “remember” or to “re-call” what has never entered the mind. And at this section, Jesus is not talking about us reliving that instant, hence, creating our world and its constancy. If we understand oneness, perfection, Love, how can something that is not oneness, perfection, Love be remembered? How could it had been part of our existence?

A. The language of A Course in Miracles can be a stumbling block for many people, which appears to be the case here. In one sense, your analysis of the function of memory is logical; but logical analysis can often get in the way of truly understanding Jesus’ message. The Course is not written as would an academic or scholarly treatise, in which precision and consistency in language is essential. While intellectually on a high, sophisticated level—with a clearly recognizable, internally consistent metaphysics—the Course is nonetheless expressed in more of a poetic fashion, where the meanings of words and concepts are permitted to be stretched, and as a result are not always consistent. There are several other instances of seeming inconsistency, in addition to the one you point out.

Anticipating this type of question no doubt, Jesus explains in the introduction to the clarification of terms: “This is not a course in philosophical speculation, nor is it concerned with precise terminology. It is concerned only with Atonement, or the correction of perception…All terms are potentially controversial, and those who seek controversy will find it. Yet those who seek clarification will find it as well. They must, however, be willing to overlook controversy, recognizing that it is a defense against the truth in the form of a delaying maneuver.…A universal theology is impossible, but a universal experience is not only possible but necessary. It is this experience toward which the course is directed. Here alone consistency becomes possible because here alone uncertainty ends” (C.in.1:1,2; 2:1,2,3,4,5,6,7).

As these passages indicate, the Course does not lend itself to the kind of logical analysis you engaged in, as that is not its purpose. It was not meant to be approached that way, and if it is, one will not get very far with it before being tempted to dismiss it because of the looseness of its language and apparent changes in meaning. What is also helpful is to recognize that the meaning of words is often relative to the point that Jesus is making, or to the essence of what he is teaching in that particular passage, which could differ when he is making some other point. This can be frustrating to readers, without a doubt. On the other hand, though, it is purposeful, in that it forces readers to pay very careful attention to what they are reading in order not to miss the point Jesus is making.

Moreover, the Course makes it clear that the human intellect itself is often an impediment in the quest for truth: “You are still convinced that your understanding is a powerful contribution to the truth, and makes it what it is” (T.18.IV.7:5). It is a paradox that we must learn, by first using our intellectual powers, that our intellectual powers are a defense against the truth, which goes along with the Holy Spirit directing us to use the world and time as a means of learning that the world and time are illusory. We are just challenged on every single level to examine the premises and the values and expectations we bring to our study of the Course, so that we can identify exactly what we are thinking and doing that keeps love and truth out of our awareness.

For some further study of this issue, you might want to consult our tape album, “Duality As Metaphor in A Course in Miracles” and Chapter 2 “The Course’s Use of Language — I” in Few Choose to Listen, Volume II of The Message of A Course in Miracles.

Q #101: I would like to know if anyone who has practiced A Course in Miracles has become enlightened. Do you know of anyone who feels/knows that they are in absolute connection with God and therefore, never out of a state of peace?

A: We don’t have any reports of this nature, but that does not mean anything. A truly enlightened person would have no need to let others know of his or her having totally transcended the ego. In fact, that might be a helpful way of evaluating someone’s claim to having achieved enlightenment. If such a person goes around announcing it, that is almost a sure sign that there is still some ego left. As the Course portrays the state, there is basically only one characteristic that might stand out, which is that the person would smile more frequently: “There is a way of living in the world that is not here, although it seems to be. You do not change appearance, though you smile more frequently. Your forehead is serene; your eyes are quiet. And the ones who walk the world as you do recognize their own” (W.pI.155.1:1,2,3,4).

There are numerous accounts of students, though, who have experienced significant shifts in their thinking and in their reactions, so that what formerly had “pushed all their buttons,” for example, no longer evokes the same reaction. Forgiveness works, in other words, and so that should be the focus of each day.

Finally, with reference to someone being in “absolute connection with God,” we refer you to the section in the manual, “Can God Be Reached Directly?” (M.26). There Jesus tells us: “Sometimes a teacher of God may have a brief experience of direct union with God. In this world, it is almost impossible that this endure. It can, perhaps, be won after much devotion and dedication, and then be maintained for much of the time on earth. But this is so rare that it cannot be considered a realistic goal. If it happens, so be it. If it does not happen, so be it as well. All worldly states must be illusory. If God were reached directly in sustained awareness, the body would not be long maintained” (M.26.3:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8).

Thus, direct union with God is not the goal of the Course’s curriculum. Reaching a state of peace is its goal, where we rise above the battleground with Jesus and look back down with compassion for everyone. “This Course will lead to knowledge, but knowledge itself is still beyond the scope of our curriculum. Nor is there any need for us to try to speak of what must forever lie beyond words.…It is not for us to dwell on what cannot be attained. There is too much to learn. The readiness for knowledge still must be attained” (T.18.IX.11:1,2,5,6,7).

Q #102: I am really into self-help books. I have read that psychotherapy and counseling can be helpful for the student of A Course In Miracles because it can help reveal the ego’s blocks to the awareness of love’s presence. Is this the case for self-help as well? Or do self-help materials hold more potential than formalized counseling to enmesh readers in their own problems?

A: An advantage of psychotherapy and counseling over self-help books is that there is someone else to observe your ego, hopefully in a non-judgmental way, and point out its dynamics in areas you may be very effectively keeping hidden from yourself. It is usually easier to recognize someone else’s defenses rather than our own. But self-help books still can be of value in helping you identify your own maladaptive patterns of behavior and underlying thoughts, if you’re willing to be honest with yourself.

For any self-improvement tool that you’re considering, including therapy, you may want to ask yourself the following questions in evaluating its usefulness:

Is this helping me to take more responsibility for my thoughts and feelings and actions or is it reinforcing the ego dynamic of seeing and holding others responsible for my dysfunction and unhappiness (although uncovering a dynamic of blaming others can be an important first step in the healing process if we have not allowed ourselves to be in touch with that before)?

Is this likely to help me uncover my hidden motivations or is it more likely to help me keep them buried in an emphasis on changing form, such as behavior and appearance, rather than underlying content, such as thought and purpose (although sometimes an important early step that indicates a willingness to change at a deeper level is to modify maladaptive and destructive behavior, such as addictions)?

One of the limitations of nearly every therapeutic approach in the world, regardless of whether it involves a therapist or work on your own, is that its purpose is to make the dream better, rather than to lead you along the path of awakening, which is the Course’s goal. And self-help is really about helping make a better ego self. Not that there is anything bad about that, but it won’t take you where the Course is leading you and it could end up leading you in the opposite direction. The only truly healing practice is forgiveness, and we may find clever ways to avoid it for as long as we can stand the pain. But in the end, we will find that releasing our judgments to the Help of the only real Therapist is the only way to find the Self we are really looking for.

Several people have said five classes a month can be difficult to keep up with, especially when they are 1.5+ hours long. And that they need to find a free evening to listen to them, whereas it’s much easier to find an hour, and easier to listen to a class twice when it’s shorter.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind whispers in the class summary posts.

We will read three Q&As per day through March 17th, and four Q&As per day from March 18th until the end of the year. All monklings are invited to share their journey in the Cloister (the “whispers” section at the bottom of each post).

The questions & answers for each day will be provided here in the daily post for your convenience and with the kind permission of Ken Wapnick.

Day 33: Q&A numbers 97-99

Q #97: Why did Jesus use Helen’s body as the scribe for A Course in Miracles? Why didn’t he come back into the world as a body himself? Once someone is in the real world and lays his body aside, would/could he come back into this world as another body? Would he then remember who he is, and his past lifetimes?

A: Although your questions make sense from the perspective of the world and the bodily selves we think we are, that is not the perspective from which the Course is coming and these are not the selves the Course is addressing. If you can shift your perspective from the world to the mind and recognize that we are the dreamer of the dream and not the figures in the dream, things may become a little clearer.

Jesus is a symbol in our mind of the Atonement — the correction for our delusional thought system of separation, sin and attack. That symbol of love can take many different specific forms in the world, but the various forms, such as the man we call Jesus, “a separate being, walking by himself, within a body that appeared to hold his self from Self” (C.5.2:3) are all illusory. The love that Jesus represents takes whatever form can be most helpful to us, caught in believing in a dream of our own making that we’ve forgotten we have made. There really is no more definite answer as to why the message comes in whatever form it does.

We can still speculate — perhaps, because of the specialness that has become associated with the physical being of Jesus in Christianity, obscuring his central message of forgiveness, it is more helpful for us to have the message come to us in the form of a book, so that we do not become so easily distracted by the specific form of the teacher. And Helen was always very clear that she was the scribe and not the source of the material, so that any confusion of her form with the Course’s content could be minimized.

As to your questions about being in the real world, this is a permanent shift in perspective from the world to the mind, from the dream figure to the dreamer — it has nothing to do with laying the body aside. Once you are in the real world, you know you are not a body, no matter what other minds still identified with the dream may think about you. And so it is not a matter of deciding to come or to go — there is no coming or going but only a different kind of seeing. You may then become a symbol of love in the dream for others who still believe in separation, but you will not be identified with any dream figure and so will be unaffected by anything that happens in the world. You will know that none of it is real. Memory for past lives will have no value for you as you recognize their illusory nature. But if reference to any of those specific forms may be helpful to others in their own process of awakening, then your mind may share the correction using those symbols.

Q #98: A Course in Miracles seems to be saying very clearly that it is important for the individual reading the book (and each and every Son of God who believes he is separated) to fulfill the Holy Spirit’s purpose for the world and time by accepting the Atonement, that is, that the separation never happened, and that the Son of God is one (the Christ) and at home in God the Father.

My question is this: It appears from the above that it will make a difference when “I” or “All” the Sons of God accept the Atonement. Otherwise why would Jesus and the Holy Spirit and God go through all this trouble of bringing the Course into the dream and working with us daily in our struggle to recognize the truth? So what is that difference?

I realize our real Self never separated from the Father so nothing happened in reality. But still, here is the Course, telling us our realization of what the Course teaches is “required.” I don’t mean this facetiously, but very sincerely: What difference will it all make?

A: It may appear that Jesus or the Holy Spirit have some investment in our accepting the Course’s message, but that is really only a projection of our own ego. The reference to the Course being “required” (T.in.1:2) was really intended only as a message for Helen when she was questioning whether she wanted to do what it was asking her to do, even though she in fact knew it was the answer to her and Bill’s request for another way.

It may also seem that Jesus and the Holy Spirit — God could not be involved because He is beyond all words and symbols, including the specific symbols of the Course (M.21.1:7) — have gone to a lot of trouble to give us the Course and get us to practice it, but that is not in fact the reality. They simply are a presence in our mind that reminds us of the alternative to our ego’s thought system (T.5.II.7.1,2,3,4) and it is our own split mind that gives form to that reminder, in a way that we can understand and benefit from. For a more detailed discussion of this, you may wish to refer to the section, “Helen and Jesus: The Illusion and the Reality,” in chapter 17 of Absence from Felicity by Kenneth Wapnick.

Nevertheless, although there is no pressure or urgency as far as Jesus or the Holy Spirit are concerned to have us follow the Course’s teachings — they know nothing here is real even if we don’t — your question still calls out for an answer. What difference does it make when we accept the Atonement for ourselves? The only difference is how much time we spend in pain — and that is our choice. As Jesus observes, “Nothing is ever lost but time, which in the end is meaningless…Yet since you do believe in it, why should you waste it going nowhere….it is hard indeed to wander off, alone and miserable, down a road that leads to nothing and that has no purpose” (T.26.V.2:1,3,6). And so the Course offers us a gentle process for undoing time and its effects, with no demand or insistence about it. Jesus only ever offers us gentle encouragement to look at the consequences of our choice for the ego, describing, in what we may experience as excruciating detail, how we are inflicting pain upon ourselves and how we can make a different choice.

Q #99: I’m currently dating a man who I’ve been seeing for about three months. I’ve known him for 3 ½ years and believe that I “love” him. The problem is that my feelings for myself include feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing because I’m overweight. I often feel jealous of his female friends even though I trust that they are just friends. I keep expecting this nice man to run away from me so I keep setting up tests where I tell him very negative things about myself and then ask if he still wants to remain with me. What advice would A Course in Miracles give me to help me to heal the pain of low self-worth and to develop a healthy, holy relationship with this person? He is very considerate of me and respectful toward me.

A: The Course can first of all help you to recognize the real source of any feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing. The cause is not your weight or any other feature or deficiency that you may think makes you less desirable. It also does not have anything to do with what others may think or say about you. All of this, of course, goes totally opposite to what the world tells us. But the world, and our relationships here, are what we have made to keep the real cause of our self- hatred hidden from ourselves. The real source is our belief that we exist on our own, apart from love, because of our decision, buried deep in our unconscious mind, to separate from God, regardless of the cost to Him and to ourselves.

We are convinced we are loveless and unlovable because we have chosen against love, which is our reality. But rather than question the premise that we in fact can separate from love, which the Holy Spirit tells us is impossible, we maintain our sense of a separate identity and then proceed to look for love and affirmation of our value from sources outside of ourselves, never remembering that what we want — love — has remained there within us all the time. And so we look to others to give us what we believe is missing in us, which only reinforces our underlying belief that we are lacking and empty to begin with. And once we embark on that search, we are lost, for we have chosen to look everywhere but where we can find love (T.29.VII).

There is nothing we can do on our own that will undo our feelings of unworthiness and offer us the love we so desperately desire. But that is in fact the good news, because the truth is there is nothing that we need do to establish our value. “Your worth is established by God. As long as you dispute this everything you do will be fearful, particularly any situation that lends itself to the belief in superiority and inferiority….nothing you do or think or wish or make is necessary to establish your worth. This point is not debatable except in delusions” (T.4.I.7:2,3,6,7).

Now Jesus doesn’t expect that we will recognize our worth simply because he tells us so. So our relationships become the classrooms in which over time we learn to recognize our worth as the guiltless Son of God. And we learn by recognizing all the ways in which we try to convince ourselves otherwise, with a growing awareness of what we are really up to. We want to see others as holding the key to our happiness so that we don’t have to accept responsibility for our own choice to be separate and miserable. The Course provides no specific guidelines on how to make a relationship work in the world’s terms. But it does provide a means for healing our perceptions of ourselves and others, no matter what form the relationship takes over time. And so the fear, guilt, shame and anger that seem almost universal in the special relationships of the world now become the signals to us that there is another way of looking at ourselves and others.

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