Free Floating Fear
The love in in our mind is abstract, but so is the guilt. You might call it free-floating guilt attended by free-floating fear.
The way we make fear specific is we project it from our mind into a world. We do this to:
1. Attempt to escape the overwhelming fear that guilt engenders
2. Attempt to make the guilt real / keep the guilt / maintain an individual, separate identity
3. Give the guilt to other figures / objects / situations in our projection (world)
The core of the ego’s plan is to maintain an individual self without the accompanying guilt. Of course none of the above works. “Ideas leave not their source…” (T-26.VII.4:7) So what does the ego suggest? More of the same. More projection, more denial, more attack, more defense, more guilt, more fear. What else could it suggest? “There must be another way”? Not on its life.
When we experience free-floating fear it can be a sign we have become more aware that we have a mind and that it is split. We would want to do whatever helps us, on the level of form, to get through the fear (in the healthiest way possible). This could include therapy, medication, or other magic – we’d just want to remember that none of these things heal the guilt in our mind. Then we would want to quiet our minds as much as possible and join with the presence of love that is the answer to all fear.
As we go through this process it is important for us to realize that we should never force ourselves to run headlong into the Course, our fear, classrooms, or lessons. If you can imagine you’re in a marathon and Jesus is walking it with you…. don’t sprint up ahead and lose him. His Course is a “…slowly evolving training program.” (M.9.1:7)
It’s the ego that feels there is urgency involved with studying or practicing this Course. The urgency comes from having made the error real, something serious that needs to be escaped from. Escaping from the error comes in the slowly evolving recognition that there is nothing to escape from. “Do not fight youself.” (T-30.I.1:7) It’s a subtle but crucial distinction. Otherwise you will think you’re doing the Course when all you’re really doing is reinforcing the decision for the ego.
When we start to run with the Course it’s because we think there’s something to run away from (the ego). All we end up doing is running ourselves into the ground. This Course is meant to be done in baby steps. The slow way is the fast way.
