The Observer
These are my responses to questions about “the observer” from someone named “Jane”. My responses come from my own experience; I’m sure it is different for everyone.
Q: How do I become more identified with the observer?
A: Simply forgive, and it will happen of itself. It’s nothing more than that. It is deserving of all your trust.
The dreamer (decision maker) having chosen the ego, dreams it is a dream figure named Jane. The way home – and home for Jane is the right mind – is for Jane to forgive her Jane-ness. She gets angry, she gets afraid, she worries and gets confused. She is thrilled when her needs are met, or when she receives praise or special attention. Forgive all of that. In the beginning your experience will be that it’s Jane doing the forgiving, even though it’s the dreamer (decision maker) doing it, because everything is the dreamer. It’s just the dreamer dreaming it is “a Jane” doing the forgiving because, for now, that’s what is most comfortable for a decision maker who is slowly beginning to turn the boat around (imagine a supertanker in a wide arc). The decision maker is too afraid to be fully in touch with its power of choice, and so still needs to defer this onto a dream figure for its own sense of safety. But that deferment won’t last.
As you (a dreamer dreaming you are a dream figure forgiving a dream experience) move more deeply into forgiveness as a practice and process, you will begin to have experiences as something other than a helpless body and dream figure. You will experience yourself as a mind, as a dreamer, a decision maker.
These experiences will likely be brief at first, but will begin to show up more often and last longer and become more profound and attractive. In that experience you won’t question what an oberserver is, the experience will answer all questions. The experience is the answer; you’ll have no questions… until you return to your experience as a dream figure.
When you do have questions, then that means you’re splitting off from the dreamer again, back to the safety of the dream figure. This is normal. Just watch it all, as best and as gently as you can.
What are the things to look out for that tell me I’m in observer mode?
When you are in observer mode you won’t need signs, you’ll just know. If you’re looking for signs or evaluating an experience, you’re not in observer mode, which would just be something else to forgive as it’s the choice for the ego which results in the desire for litmus tests and specifics and naming etc. And in this forgiving will the experience/observer show up, for it is the process of forgiveness that provides the safety the decision maker needs to awake unto itself as itself.
Can the observer feel emotion? i.e. Love? …because if it can feel love then that’s an emotion and transient and to be forgiven…
The observer doesn’t feel emotion as a dream figure knows it. Love as a dream figure is a physical/psychological bodily feeling of love, whereas love as an observer is a mind experience of love that has nothing to do with the body or brain or feelings, and you’re it (love). It’s what you are… so “you” don’t feel it, you are it. You wouldn’t say I am feeling love, you would be it… but there are gradations of this experience as the process evolves.
How do I get a feel for what I am?
Just forgive and be patient and trust in the promise of Jesus and His Course. Don’t force anything or try to get anywhere (and forgive yourself when you do). Just let it come to you, don’t chase after it.
It’s all well and good saying I am not this () but we need to know what we ARE and what that feels like.
I agree, and understand where the question is coming from, and it’s a totally normal part of the process, but until you forgive this (ego) need, and recognize forgiveness is your only need, you won’t know what you are or experience it. Forgiveness will give you everything you want, and so much more in surprise.
Through forgiveness Jane will return home to herself as a decision maker resting peacefully in the right mind, and from there that home – the little Christ being born in you – will give way to your true Home in the fullness of Christ.
